Balik Kampung Oooo Balik Kampung!

Okay, this post is very outdated. I was planning to write this as soon as I reached home but, I just could not find the right time to force myself to write.

I drove back to JB with my 2 adik2 and my cousin from KL on Saturday morning. Early morning after Subuh around 7am. The hihghway was clear, not many cars only at several areas like Nilai, and few areas in Johor. But, overall, I had a smooth driving that Saturday. Drove around 100-120km/hr and reached Kulai around 10.15am. Reached STF(since my mum's second house is in the STF hostel) almost 11. I was having headache ever since I was in Machap area. Thus, I slept almost the whole day after I reached STF.

I got to break fast with my family this one last week of Ramadhan. Yay! Ibu cooked like a lot of special dishes that day like Pari Bakar with Sambal Udang Kering.

Ibu had to stay in STF the next day to finish her work and had a meeting with the principle. So, we had to stay one more day in STF before going back to our real home in PG. Oooo yeah!

What have I done to my students??? What?!

Yesterday, I received feedback about my teaching from my cooperating teacher. So below are the positive and negative comments I received from him:

Negative points:

He said that I sometimes lost my words in the middle of my instructions. And there were also times that I used the unprecise/incorrect words to describe or explain something. Okay, I admit these. Someitmes, I had so many things in mind that in the middle of giving instructions, I forgot what I wanted to say. I also admit that there were times when I just could not find the right words in this brain of mind which therefore leads to me choosing any words closest to the right ones.

Positive Points:

He said, when a teacher managed to blend in with the students and bring big influences to them, "the teacher's words are like God's words". And he said, he was impressed by how I managed to influence those kids in 1L. His words really made my day! I did noticed the changes in some of my 1L students but, according to him, "No. You're wrong! Not some! You have got most of them by now. I just do not know how you did it or what have you done to your students. But, from what I see, you don't have problems handling those kids."

Alhamdulillah. Maybe what I did was just praying. And Allah had granted my prayers. (cracking a super big smile in front of my laptop right now). These few days, I was imagining my days after I finish my practicum. I am sure going to miss my students a lot!

By the way, I only have one more observation by my supervisor which was scheduled to be this coming Monday. I might be observed by Sharon Bakar as well. Just might. I hope everything goes well.

"Takpelaaa!" ???!!!! RU f***ing serious?!

Some people just don't know how to appreciate an honest advice. This is true. Once upon a time... they might tell you this, "Friend, if I ever did anything wrong,please let me know. I don't mind. I don't like people talk bad about me behind my back. If you want to cricise or advice me on anything, you are most welcome, friend." But, not everyone mean what they said. So, I am telling this so that you won't have to go through  the humiliation you may feel advising this kind of people.

I saw a few people looking at her. Every stare they gave ended with them staring at her shoes. She was walking with her body slightly bent forward. Maybe because the shoes were too high. Just maybe. For whatever reason it was, it doesn't look pleasant. So, as a friend, I stood next to her and whispered to her with an honest intention to advice her so that she could try to walk straight. Plus, it would make her look tall and elegant. But, guess what? I guess, she didn't need my advice after all. And my intention to saveher from shame or at least people's bad mouths was wrong. She straight away answered my advice with a : "Takpelaaa!" Hmm, fine!  Go ahead! After this, sampai mati pun aku tak kuasa nak tolong jaga maruah ko ke, naj jaga muka ko ke, selamatkn ko dari umpat keji orang ke... Lagi pun ko bukannya kisah. "Takpelaa" kan. Though I know that she might be one of those people who just could not care less about what people say about her. Well, of course she would disagree with me on this. WTF!

What a day!

This morning, at the junction outside IPBA, the one after the hockey stadium, I hit a motorcycle. I honestly didnt see the bike. Not at all. All I saw were two cars heading to our direction but they were quite farfrom us. So, I slowly cross the main road. Luckily, I wasn't speeding at the junction. As my car was crossing the main road, Kak Mar said, "Ati, baik2 motor!" But, her voice wasnt raised that high which made me thought that the bike was still far away from us coz I didnt see any bike just now. (Plus, my friends have this habit of screaming whenever there are other vehicles nearby though, I know that we are still in a safe distance from those vehicles.) However, Kak Mard yelled again. And this time, her voice was raised to an alarming rate. Haha! So, it means: Danger, Yo! Tak faham bahasa?!! I abruptly stopped the car and the next thing I knew was, there was a bike right in front of my car.

This time, I saw the bike. And I knew that at that point, if I were to speed, we would still not going to make it. So, I stopped the car in the middle of the road. Yes, right in the middle, crossing the road. And the bike... he was okay. Thank God!When I stopped, the bike swerved slightly to his right which caused him to hit my bonet. I think he could actually avoid my car but, I think he was just as shock as me. My car reg num flew few meters away and there were some scratches at the bonet. I am not sure how did the scratches got there. Because his bike seemed okay, except that his left leg might hurt because of the hit. I just pray that he's okay.

So, yeah, that was about it. I still cant believe myself for being that careless. How can I not see the bike?! I mean, seriously, how?! But, to be honest, before I crossed the road this morning, while waiting to cross the road, I had this instinct saying that, "What if I cant see a car or bike coming because of the sign board in the middle of the road divider that always covers my sight? What if one day, I could not see a bike moving towards my car because the bike is within the blind spot of my car (Gen2 has bigger blind spots than any other cars of its type, it has front and back blind spots, the front one was caused by the extra wide windscreen's frame and the extra aerodynamic shape of the front of the car)? Then, the next thing I knew, "Bum!" there goes my instinct. But, looking at the bright side, the man that I hit was a very kind man. He accepted my apology and decided not to take any action on me. So, yup, he was a super nice guy. May God bless him and hope he has a nice day today despite of him being hit by me, of course. And, maybe that's the way Allah wanted to remind me to be more careful next time.

Despite of that morning incident, I really enjoyed today because today is Friday! It means, I can sleep super late (that's what I'm doing now), or dont have to sleep at all not until the sun rises, do movie marathon, etc. And tonight, I chose to clean my room. It was so messy, and untidy. Even I cant bear with it anymore. Actually, I had been wanting to clean my room since few weeks ago. But, I found that there are other important things to be done first. So, as I am writing this post, I am actually procrastinating from having my shower after the cleaning session. I presume, I would wake up super late, like noon, maybe, then, procrastinate again, then, God knows when I will start planning my lesson for next week. Gosh! I like entering my classes. But, I really hate the planning part. It was so taxing. And the worst part about next week is, I think Ng would want to finish my Phase 2 observations plus, Sharon might be entering my class as well! How interesting is that?! I really hope that Ms Ng would observe my 2y classes for the last 2 observations. Please do not enter my 1L anymore. I am so tired planning for that class. And the kids, are just so unpredictable. Oh dear Allah, please grant my wish.

I'm Sparing You the Trouble of Reading this Post. Serious.

As much as I would love to write about something other than education, I just can't. My life, now, revolves around school, school, and school. Talking about school, today, we have a meeting regarding the upcoming Hari Anugerah Ko-ko or whatever. Right now, I really wish that this stuff room would be more like the stuff room in Auckland's schools. They had sofas where we can sleep on anytime we're free, toaster, pantry, microwave, fridge with plenty of fresh milk. OMG!!!! I really cannot stand this sleepiness. Brrrrr! My eyes are half close now.

All I could think of now is food, drinksss, and holidaysss. I wanna go back for raya. Oh, dera God.. Please let our school some extra raya hols. 2 years not being able to celebrate Ramadhan n Eid with my family, I was expecting this year to be a good one. Not realising that My hol would only be till the 3rd day of eid. Wat the heck?! Like hell yeah. Im f-ing serious, yo! Ok, I know I am crapping here. It's only because I have nothing better to do in this stuff room and Im damn sleepy.

So, what do I wanna have for break fast? Where to break fast? I would love to attend another Dessert Nite like the one I had in Auckland. Nyum2! Oi, Ati! Behave! (Alia, 2010). Okay, now, I am so happy. Wanna know why? HAahahaha... Our PK1- Mrs. Keong just told me that the four of us, trainee teachers do not have to stay back after school for the stuff meeting. Walla! Oooolalaa!

I made an e-book for my 1L.
The title was: The Hungry Pocoyo.
You might be wondering why on earth doI have to write about food?
Well, it was because we were doing a health topic about healthy food and balanced diet.
Hahaha! Look who's talking... I don't practice what I preached.

So, was the lesson a success? Hmm... partially. Boleh tak partially?! Boleh je. It's my class maa.
It was a double period lesson. So, yeah, the students did pay attention, and interested about the e-book during the first period. But, mind you, being interested about the book does not necessarily means that they would read the story. Some of them just couldnt careless. We had a choral reading together during the first period. But, when we entered the second period, I just could not control them anymore. I am starting to loise my temper. They had loosen the screw for the past few weeks.

It's interesting how a simple topic and a simple activity could do wonders in your class.

Topic: A Lifelong Journey: Long, healthy life thru exercises.
Skill: Speaking
Proficiency: very low.

Let them name some sports, and instilled some moral values about healthy living.
They wrote their names on blank papers to be pasted in the bar chart on the board (which took them like ages to write their OWN names).

Each one of them had to stand in front of the class and tell his/her name and his/her favourite sports.

Surprisingly, they enjoyed the lesson. *sigh*

I still cannot understand how their minds work and what interest them. They seemed lost in their own world in most of my lessons. To get their attention and interest to learn is very challenging indeed. I almost give up by now. But, I do like those kids tho they could be very annoying sometimes.

Entering Phase 2: Practicum. Time to be more serious about practicum. Because phase 2 is an evaluation phase. I can't fail my practicum. At this point, bullshit to dreaming of getting Cemerlang for practicum. All I wanna do now is to teach and have fun with my kids at school. I want them to enjoy my lessons, to learn something from my class, to love my English class, to change their negative perceptions of English lessons, and to make them love English as much as I do. Though, I know it would also mean giving them false hope... cause I think they all realise that all the "learning English is fun" would come to an end once i finishes my practicum in that school and when they get back their former teacher.

So tis Saturday, my school has replacement class. *sigh* Luckily I will only be teaching 2Y double periods. But, the not-so-lucky part is that I might be observed by my cooperating teacher tis Sat. Damn! Hope he wont cancel it tis time. I m still struggling wit my 1L. I pray that I would not lose my patience with them.

Okay, till here. Goin to update my practicum portfolio (which I found a burden to me-not enough with the necesssary lesson plans, they add tis unnecessary portfolio which is a pain in the ass for us!), and prepare my lesson plans for tis Sat and next week.

4 weeks seemed like 4 months.
True enough. True, true, and so true.

As much as I hate Ipba, I cant believe I am looking forward for this 1 week de-briefing session. It's not like I hate the kids, or the school... I think what I was trying to avoid the most were the ever lasting lesson planning and materials production, the stressful observations, the trying-so-hard-to-be-friendly-and-satisfy-everyone sessions, and all those staybacks, meetings and extra school sessions. School means no life to me.

Talking about my observation: Last Friday, i was supposed to be observed one final time for my 1st phase by my cooperating teacher, but because of some incidents, he could not observe me when I had prepared my lesson till 3am! See, hoe depressing and frustrating was that?!

School = No Life!

Slept around 1-4am almost every night. Went to school around 6.50am everyday. Came back around 3pm or later everyday except on Fridays. Got home, too tired to do anything even to mark my students' test papers (I tried once, and I accidentally scribbled on their papers coz i was too sleepy -_-"). Prepared materials for the upcoming lessons which took ages to finish.

So, when can I enjoy my life? I tried to watch Inception 3times, now. And, to my dissappointment, all tickets sold out! Damn! No more hanging out for hours in malls, had movies marathon late at night, stay up to play computer games at night, play new songs on my guitar for hours, etc.

Not to mention about all the money spent for this practicum and my beloved students. T_T
Now, I can consider myself as nearly-broke! Honestly, man! With around 4 more months to go, and almost more than half of my allowance gone, how am i going to survive? And that's not including y car petrol.... Oh, god! I need a super rich and super loving husband right now. Dear students, please pray that for this teacher of yours. Huhu! Nescaya, I'll shower you all with tonnes of rewards. Hehehe!

Who Say It's Ez to be A Teacher....?

At this point as I'm writing this post, I've already survived my 1st week in school. Waking up at 5.30am (even at 6am) is torturing. Dragging my feet on the car's pedals into the school is even worst. Counting the days to week 12 seemed like a never ending counting. How I wish I was in Ipba listening to boring lectures. Because then, I could still off-task as long as I wanted. When we received the news that all students in practicum were ordered to return back to Ipba next Wednesday 10-2pm for our beloved Director's retirement ceremony, I felt blessed. Oh, God! Only You know how I felt.

I got form 1(the last class) and form 2(the 1st one): 1L and 2Y. Both classes have around 30++ students.

1L
1L's general proficiency level was very low. In the previous tests, all of them except around 5 students have failed. Only 1 student got an A. So, imagine me giving simple English instructions, and the students were staring blankly at me. One period = 40minutes. Out of that 40minutes, I think, 15-20 minutes was used for behaviour management. During this 1st week, I have tried a few different methods in managing their behaviour and to learn about the best learning strategies for them. And yet, none of those suit this class. This morning, my mum called asking me about my 1st week in school. And of course, she shared all her wisdom in handling such classes to me. But, sharing info is not the same as applying it. How am I supposed to apply what she told me? Where should I begin?

A bunch of chinese boys were always talking and doing something else at the back of the class. The Indian boys always sit nicely on their seats but, once a while they would eventually crack a small fight which can be very destracting to the class. There were a few Malay boys in my class. Half of them were quite obedient and good in my class. But, the other half was very active in class, in the sense of, they just love to move around the class, walking around me while I was talking in front of the class, and disturbing others - and that will be referring to Ahmad and Afiq.

There are 2 academically and should I say emotionally/mentally problematic students (according to their former English teacher). When the first time I entered the class, I realised a very cute, handsome boy sitting in the front row. Jeremiah was his name. What a lovely name. He was very quite. But, one very special thing about him was that, the first time I asked him something in English, he answered me very politely but quietly, in PERFECT ENGLISH! Walla! The problem is he seemed lost in his world almost all of the time. During recess, I saw him sitting alone on a bench under a staircase, behind locked bars (grill tangga-watever paham2 la sendiri). That scenery really touched my heart. What's wrong with this boy? What really happened? Why is he always alone? That's when I decided to asked his former teacher more about him. According to the teacher, the boy's parents came to meet the teacher before and explained the boy's condition. He's always lost in his thoughts, his own world. He's also very afraid of teachers. Thus, I should speak nicely and softly to him. Another boy, I called him Ah Sen. Well, that's the easiest way to remember his name. It's very difficult for me to remember people's names. I think his name was Kok Sen. This is another difficult case I am facing. According to the teacher, he has learning disorder/difficulties. He only understands chinese, not malay, not English. So how? You want me to go and take Chinese class pulak? Gosh! He does his work very very very slowly. Nobody wants to be his friend and he seemed okay with it. Cause he seemed blur most of the time. He needs a private translator and maybe that annoys some of the boys. Doesn't matter what happen in the class, he would always look at me, look at everyone, everything blankly and with confusion.

2Y
I enjoyed teaching 2y and I hope they enjoyed my class as well. Their proficiency level is Intermediate - Upper Intermediate. Except for maybe one or two students who find it difficult to understand, what else to converse in English. And for this one boy (as for this one week, he was the only one that I could detect with learning difficulty in this class), being in a class full of students with good English made him very fragile, remote, and passive. I realised that he was embarrassed to ask questions, to participate, etc. In other words, he has a pride to maintain and therefore, revealing his weaknesses would lower his pride. I have to approach him very nicely, and make sure not to provoke or offend him in any way. But, how? I dont want any of my students to be left behind. This is hard.... T_T

Who say It's Easy to be A Teacher?
Who say teaching is the easiest profession? I really want to snap at those mouths. Being a teacher is not only about teaching. Well, of course "teacher" and "teaching" come from the same root word "teach". But, being a teacher also requires the teachers to handle with all the clerical jobs, extra curriculum, meetings, courses, school functions to be handled, colleagues, and the politics in school. Especially being a teacher in Malaysia. Our culture of seniority is very strong. As new teachers (me being a trainee teacher will be worst.. like duh~), I really feel uncomfortable initiating a conversation. Everybody has work in the stuff room. So, should I randomly go to people's desks to socialise? If not, we'll be called a snob. Like what happened last few days: there was a photography session for all the teachers. The teacher in charge in it asked us to join them. But, politely one of us decline his offer. It was because we were not even a teacher yet. We are trainee teachers. Not even NEW teachers. Plus, we were only arrived few days earlier. Takkanlah da nak bergambar for the school magazine. Besides, we would only be there for 3 months. So, we decided not to go. Unfortunately, all of the teachers and the PRINCIPLE was waiting for us. They even sent prefects to call us. But, as soon as we got there, they already took their picture. Afterwards, kene sound la ape lagi. Sitting in front of me in the stuff room is a very handsome PE teacher. He asked me, "Kenapa tak turun ambil gambar tadi? Tak sudi ke nak bergambar dengan kami?" Ouch! That hurts. Well, I explained to him why. Then, he said, "Eh, ambil je lah gambar. I dulu masa practicum pun I ambil je gambar dgn cikgu2 sekolah I." Easy said. If our cooperating teachers/the principle/the penolong kanans were the ones who instructed or should I say offered us down, then, maybe we would be slightly more comfortable to join them. This was not just the thing I hate about school, I really hate writing the super lengthy lesson plans. Really time consuming. Everyday, I slept at around 3am. Sometimes later than that. Then, we have to do Head Counts. Head Counts here means the analysis of the students' performance throughout the year. It's not counting the heads for attandance purposes, okay (well, that was what I thought before). *sigh*

Who say it's easy to be a teacher? Yes, it might be easy to be a teacher. Everyone can become a teacher. You teach one simple thing to anybody and you are already his/her teacher. But, to be a super good teacher, you need tonnes of inspiration to aspire your students, mountains of patience to cope with them, and 1001 ways to educate (not merely to teach) them.

And as for me, it's still a looooooooong journey for me before I could reach that stage. How I wish I could be just like my mother. How I wish she could impart all her knowledge and experiences to me. And my goal is to be a Guru Cemerlang just like her but, of course, in English not Physics. But, will I ever be there? When will I ever get to that point? It's week 1 and I am already exhausted, lost my mind, lost my temper, fell sick, spent a lot for teaching, and stressed out.

Another Step Forward & Still Counting My Foot Prints

This breeze... it reminds me of New Zealand. How I wish I am in Nz now. I miss evryone there. I miss listening to Sheryll's screaming and lectures added with all her complimentary gestures and funny expressions. And her famous tagline, "Suck it up, folks!". I miss collecting craccum every week. I wonder how's this year's craccum. I mean honestly, nothing much being discussed in craccum and they are all boring crap. But, still, craccum is an evidence of my unique uni life abroad in comparison to some of Malaysian local students. I am proud to have that short but memorable exclusive experience.

Okay, cut the crap, cut the crap!

Yea, tomorrow is my first day of practicum. I am going to officially report myself to school. No idea which form(s) am I going to teach. No idea about my timetable yet. I am very blur and in the know of nothing, currently. I wanted to prepare some lesson plans but, as I said, I dont know which classes am I going to teach, and not to mention, I have no clue about the school's weekly/monthly planning or whatsoever. So how? I pray that the school will not ask me to teach during the first week. Oh god, please let me settle down and get to know the school and students first during my first week there. Btw, I am going to SMK Taman Yarl, near Old Klang Road. I've googled about the school but, to my disappointment, I couldnt find much about the school. *Sigh*
Gosh! Scary, scary! First day of school is always scary, creepy and nervouse.

My preparation???

• Okay, I've always loved to collect materials, activities and exercises. So, for the past few days, I have been gathering, rearranging, and collecting some activities and organise them according to their difficulty levels and forms.
• Ironed all my clothes for next week. -and I realised how I need more, and more baju kurung. Sangat boring okay, rotating the same baju week out week in.
• Printing and compiling a few stuff for my Practicum Portfolio.
• Went to the school to check out the route to that school.

Hope I wont forget anything tomorrow. Oh, fyi, since 2 days ago, I have been dreaming about teaching and being observed. That shows how nervous I am now.

Practicum is Around D Corner ~_~"

This whole is just pre-practicum briefing (I personally think that some of the slots were simply allocated in our schedule to make us stay in college). I would say no matter what the lecturers were trying to brief us these few days- with their experiences lah, refreshing our memories to those teaching theories, etc, were just making me more nervous than I already am. And honestly, when the time comes, I guess we would simply perform according to situations. Bullshit to those theories and approaches. Well, of course they are not totally bullshit. They are important crap that built our believes and knowledge as a new teacher. Okay, enuf with all these academic crap. Basically, my point is, why can we have shorter briefing sessions? Why can't it be a 3-days pre-practicum briefing. Why it has to take our whole week? It wasn't like we were paying attention at all in the hall. Some were ipod-ing, surfing d net, doodling, gossipping, staring blankly on the lecturer (this includes me!), and even sleeping + snoring happily. I would rather stay in my room and prepare my teaching props in my sweet times.

This afternoon, right after me, k mard, dzt n hisyam had our early lunch or should i say brunch at UM, we drove along Jln Klang Lama in quest of SMK Taman Yarl. What we read on the internet, and from some people, the school was surrounded by flats and some low-costs housing area. So, I thought the surrounding was something like Pantai Dalam. But, duh~ went we got there, I had a shock of my life. Why? Why???!!!#$%^&*! The school was surrounded by super big houses, which explains why it was so difficult for us to find the school. Hahaha! Gosh! Now I am wondering how are the kids, the teachers, the expectations and the students' command of English.

Okay, what ever it is, wish me luck, folks... I am going to continue with my teaching materials preparation. Hehehe! Skempus (skema nak mampus) tak aku??? Hahahah!

When Friendship is on the Trading Table

As I was taking my shower this morning, I come to think of the people, friends, and relationships that exist in my life and my surroundings. All the thoughts that are related to these things made me ponder upon the true meaning of friendship. Is friendship a trading item? It might be true for some people. It might be true for me as well - at times, with some people.

I would like to bring you to another dimension of friendship that maybe you have never entered or discovered before. Do you know, some people regard friendship as a trading tool. A tool or medium to achieve or earn something. And, there are also people, who never learned how to build an honest frienship without having a TOOL/ MEDIUM for keeping "friends" around them. Or in other words, a tool to keep the knot tight. These 'people' may include you, I, they, or anyone.

Admit it. Who never pretended to be nice with someone just for the sake of the free rides during "financial breakdown" seasons? Who never play with sweet words on not-so-close friends when they are going on a date tomorrow and suddenly realised that they didn't have anything good to wear for that occasion? These are some of the examples of situations when a person put friendship on the table for trading. Friendship is being traded with items/ priviledges/ services.

Do not feel surprise when I say that sometimes, some people need a tool to build a freindship. Without this tool, they will have nothing in common and therefore, will have almost nothing to talk about or issues to be discussed on. This tool can be 1) the same course that they are studying together, 2) one single movie that everyone in the group should love so that everyone could have a say on it, 3) a car that they can ride on together so that they could have their outings together, 4) a guitar so that he/she could fit in and play along with the rest, or 5) the same shirts so that other people will notice how they are alike and that they belong to a particular group. The tool can be of anything. Anything at all.

A simpler example is as follow:

There are Mickey, Doraemon, Popeye, Garfield, and Shrek playing at the playground. None of them know one another. That evening, The ugly Shrek brought along a huge packet of caramel popcorn to the playground. Slowly, the ever-hungry Garfield approached the ugly Shrek. Then, came the talking mouse, Mickey. And soon after, the rest of them were surrounding the ugly ogre. Though they were all very different from one another, they managed to put aside the differences just for the sake of the popcorn. Thus, some of them who were very skillful with words and had sweet mouths could easily persuade Shrek to share some of his popcorn with them. But, others had to climb slowly to the top in order to get some of their shares. They talked, and played together. Before they realised it, they were eating the popcorn together, all five of them. Then, the time had come. They were running out of popcorn. They tried to initiate further conversations and tried to expand their bonding. But, sooner or later, one by one walked away from Shrek, the empty-handed ogre. Without any misunderstanding/disagreement/quarrel, their short friendship had come to an end.

Well, that was when some people use a tool to build a friendship and when some other people need a tool to keep their friendships.

I personally think, there are times when we unintentionally needed a tool-based friendship. Because it happens everywhere. But, I don't think that this kind of friendship would last. The longest might be for months or years but never is forever. Soon, when they had finished studying that same course, when they had gone bored liking the same movie, when other people offered better cars, when they had lost their guitars or gone tired learning guitar, or the trend of wearing the same shirts had wear off of the trend, the friendship, will lose its sparks.

I was just writing this post as a reminder to you, to myself and to everyone else. Because no one is perfect. As much as I would love to curse and pray for the worst for all the backstabbers, or plastic-faced so-called friends, I should try to forgive them (or the least I could do is to forget) because they are just like me, an imperfect creature of Allah, the Almighty God of the universe.

"I'm Like a Bird" -Nelly Fertado

Thank you, Ibu for taking care of for 9 months pluss in your womb and let me explore this world. Thank you too for caring, loving, and educating me for 22 years ever since i was borned.

Thank you, Abah for loving, caring, educating, and providing all the things that i need in life for these 22 years.

Now, that I am 22 years old, I am slowly flying away from my parents' nest to build my very own nest- preferrably not too far away from theirs.

Thank you, friends for your thoughtful birthday wishes, gifts, midnight phone calls for hours (this is specially referring to Zali), and birthday treats -pasts and yet to come (hehe! im waiting, im waiting...).

Special thank you to Kak Mard, K.A, and Acan for celebrating my birthday in Carl's Jr last Thursday. And of course thank you for the super cute and super sweet "Little Atie" and the birthday gift. Love u guys A LOT!

This is the cake that Acan and KA called "Little Atie" coz according to em it looks like me. hahaha! So cute, aite?

This is "Pocoyo". She is a birthday gift from Kak Mard, KA and Acan. I love her coz she is so adorable. And of course I luv em all for buying tis cute lil thing that I always wanted. Tq korang!

"Premier Jour" by Nina Ricci-prezzy from Abah. Really10x like the scent. Woohoo!

A bday gift from Mar and Izzah. I know it was an empty cadbury box wrapped up with a big ribbon. Initially (of course before it went empty), the box was full of home-made blueberry cheese tarts. So nyummy. Freshly made by Mar. Tapi, obviously dah kena balun in one day! Totally forgot to take pic of it while it was still full. Hehe!

Thank you everyone! Luv this year's birthday compared to last year's.

XOXO

Our First Date...

Parked my car near Kerinchi station, dash to Masjid Jamek by LRT as soon as he called me saying he was already on the train. While on the LRT.... lots of things came to my mind:

-how should i great him for the first time?
-where should i stand?
-how should i smile/ should i make my normal face?
-what should i say?

Then, when i finally reached Masjid Jamek, i then, realised there were 2 sides of the station. Damn! The most important thing that i forgot to think while on the LRT: which side will he be waiting for me? I was so nervous by then that i could not think properly while looking at the map. URgh! Then, i seriously didnt know what made me think that he would be coming out from side A. I found a spot, directly opposite the exit, waited there for few minutes... then, he called. He said he was already in front of the ticket counter. I went, "Hah?!!!" Hrmmm... then, "Alamak, i think i tunggu u kat side yg salahlah..." (Dalam hati menyumpah coz habis plan asal aku. Hahaha!)

So, he crossed the road to my side coz we needed to take the LRT back to Kerinchi from this side. I was smiling when i saw him. One thing that poped out in my head was, "Pergh, tinggi giler mamat ni..." And I'm telling you, he was defintely thinking the opposite way of me. Coz the first thing that came out of his mouth was, "Aik, rendah je u ni..." Huh! Yelah I know I'm short not like you.. Nasib baik dia tak cakap, "Aik, gemuknya u ni..." If that was the case, memang nak kene cubit2 lah tuuu...

Okay, now let me give you just the brief details of what happened next...

• Reached my car only to noticed that i was fined for parking on a yellow line! Darn! Bila aku tak parking situ, takde pun sape2 nak fine org. Time aku park barulah pakcik polis nak nyaman2 org. Aku park sat je pun. Urgh!! Dahlah takde duit nak makan, nak shopping ni kan pulak nk bayar saman.

• Went to OU. We had our first lunch, watch mv together for the first time, etc. Yeah, basically, that day was the our first time of everything together. It was pretty hard during paying time. I was so used to pay my own stuff, not depending on guys to pay for me. And of course, I have this perception that, it was very ungentleman for a guy to be treated by a girl. Plus, my friends have been advicing me not to be taken advantaged on by a guy on our first meet. So, i found it really hard to make it clear to him when it comes to paying time--especially now, that I am pokai. Also, I can be very kedekut when it comes to treating people who is not so close to me. And I can be very generous to those close ones.
  

• Our 1st mv was "The Losers". Yeah, I know it wasnt romantic at all. But, hey! It wasnt that bad after all. Lots of actions and some humours with a lil bit of romance. I think it was better than watching "Iron Man" on a first date. (Sorry Sayang, bukan nak kata pilihan u tak best, tapi memang tak best pun.. hehehe!) Luckily Iron Man was at 6pm. But, of course pity him coz he really wanted to watch it. Me, I always wanted to watch a romantic comedy with my BF. Now, that i finally got the chance to watch mv with my BF, the showing time for Date Night was not suitable for us. *Sigh*

• Had our dinner together at Mid Valley food court. I was glad that he told me during dinner that he was comfortable with me. He said that was bcoz i am very talkative. Hahaha! Dah tau dah... Even Ibu pun dah agak Atie lebih banyak bebel bila kuar dgn Din. Hurm.. what to do.. that's Atie. I am quite an extrovert person. As Nisah used to called me, "Cibi"! Whatever does that mean, Nisah.

I liked him a lot. From our first meeting, I learned that he was a very possessive man, caring, loving, understanding and have lotsa patience on me. No matter what i said, how angry and pissed i was, no matter how moody i was, he would always remain calm and cool. That's good. Hot and cold. Fire and water. Well, so far everything went good between us. Hope it would remain that way, maybe even better in the future... hopefully.

Updates... Coming Up!

Helloooooo ma blog!! Woow! This is weird. Awkward… I don’t know where to begin. Like meeting a guy for the first time, I don’t know how to start. Okay, first thing first. After a month returning to Malaysia, I bought Celcom broadband. It was around Dec. The speed was quite bearable when used at home. But, using it in the hostel, namely Ipba block 4, really tested my patience to the max! $58 for 5G so as they said. But, with the limited connectivity and very slow internet speed, I only managed to use up to max of 2G of my data. I might as well buy maxis broadband which cost around 50plus for 3G (if im not mistaken lah…). Towards the 3rd month of using it, I started to give up my patience. So, bye bye to staying up late till 3/ 4 am just to serve the net and I started my favourite habit-excessive napping in the noon. Well, without sacrificing my sleeping hours, it was almost impossible to get any connection (because those are ipbarians’ sleeping hours). In other words, I’ve not been online ever since that time.

One day, I felt like checking on my internet. Plug in the modem, tried to connect to the net, and walla! I forgot to settle my overdue payments. Nice one! Then, one day, I saw digi was doing a promo for its broadband. $30plus for 5G without modem that is. Since my modem at home can be used for any simcards, I decided not to buy the digi modem. Went back, I tried once more my celcom broadband but, suddently a pop up window appeared saying stuff showing that there was a prob with my modem. Then, I changed to my digi sim.. again… damn! Now, it’s the modem pulak! Sial giler lah… bengang aku bengang… So, people, that’s the whole story of my sudden disappearance. Sorry for no updates these few months.

Many things happened in my life these few months. I would try to simplify everything.. I am trying ok… you know how I love to write lengthy posts.. duh~

-went out with this handsome bloke. Well hey! Who knows he’s a dumbass bastard! He lied to me. One day, kantoi that he already had a gf back in Kelantan. Yes, he’s a Kelantanese! He even lied to me about his hometown.  ditch him! Duh~

-somebody stole my kitten when she already chose her own in the 1st place. Reason: she suddenly changed her mind, wanted a female one + she said she already took care and fed the kitten for a week. (What?! I cant believe her. I fed the kittenssss and the mum for weeks. Did I say nything? Not even to her when she stole my kitten.) I couldn’t look at the kitten for few weeks. I felt like crying coz I really love that kitty and planning to take it once she is big enough and the mum is ready to separate with her babies.

-well, now, I don’t bother bout it nymore. Well, wounds take time to recover you know. Well, I guess ‘this’ wound has somewhat recovered. So, u could do whatever to that kitten.

-All of us seemed so close once. Went to lectures together, eat together, went out together… But, one day, everything seemed to start to change. I wasn’t sure either I, unintentionally had hurt their feelings or did something wrong to them or whatever… But, what I am sure is that they started leaving me behind, purposely not including me in their plans, etc. Yeah, if im not mistaken all these took place when one of them drove her mum’s car to ipba. So yeah. A car can only fit 5 people comfortably including the driver. So, maybe I had to accept the excuse of “tak muat”.

-I tak tahan with this one ‘mak cik’. Dia kata dia tak suka orang angkatkan her clothes kat ampaian. But u know what? That ampaian is not urs. It is shared with 12 other housemates. Well, not that I ever angkatkan her baju but, yeah obviously-lah I did moved her clothes away from my wet clothes. I really think that she should be thankful to whoever yang angkat her baju tu. At least, not like some people who simply hang their wet clothes near others’ dry ones. And there are also people, who xreti2 nak angkat baju dah berhari2 pun buat bodo je. Yg itu, memang nak kene lempar je baju2 nye. If the person balik kampong ke understandable lah. Tapi ade tu yg ade je balik rumah at least sekejap, gi lah cek kain-baju tu. Orang len pun nak pakai ampaian. Bila kene galih tau nak bersungut pulak.

-There is this one bitch, she, out of no where come out with a stupid idea accusing me as a thief. Eff you see kay! She went out with some frenz. Then, she could find her watch. Suddenly, she made this statement, “Mesti ……. I yang curi jam I”. then, she searched in her bag only to find her fucking watch. Excuse me! I don’t want ur watch or stuff. Whatever… I don’t give a shit pun. Cuma, at times, when she talked nicely to me, it sure reminds me of what she accused me of.

-Ooo.. then there is IPBA. Sucky Yucky Ipba. With ridiculous, atrocious rules and time management that make everyone’s life miserable. Great that I have only have 1 more sem of practicum to go.

-Now, I’m with Azudin@Din. He is so kind, caring, loving, etc. Still working on this one tho.

Guess, these are the important stuff I want to share here. The rest, cant think of any at the moment. Will continue some other time.

"Siapa Bf yOu?"

- Youuu...
Awak...
Sayang...

- iyee...

Hehehe... kamu sangat sweet dan comel dari segi perwatakan, cara layanan, dan bibir yang seksi! Hahaha (ampun kepada empunya bibir seksi itu... *tolonglah jangan baca*). Handsome di mata saya. At times, dia sangat romantik, manja dan nakal. But there are also times when he gets serious, all business, strict, workaholic, and determine.

Yang penting... he made me wonder, why him? Weird aint it? I know, he asked me once too. For me, do we have to provide answer for everything in this world? Sometimes, there are things that we cant explain with plain words. To make it short, simple and sweet... He is Special! -In his own way, of course.

Lelaki yang mampu buat Izzati cair:

• hot, gorgeous, tough, gentleman
• alim sikit2 as in boleh lah bimbing aku dalam benda2 basic xlah sampai dia sendiri jahil bab2 tu (alim banyak freaks me out)
• lelaki yang pandang jauh ke hadapan n plan future die (bukan yang leave things as it is)
• lelaki yang aku rasa safe bila berdamping dengan dia (safe tak bermaksud perlu berbadan sasa- kalau badan lg besar dr aku tp penakut baik tak yah LOL)
• Paling penting: lelaki yang mampu sayang aku at d same time mampu tundukkan aku @ gain my RESPECT

Aku hanyalah wanita akhir zaman...

Isteri yang bakal kamu nikahi tidaklah semulia Khadijah
tidaklah setaqwa Aisyah
tidaklah setabah Fatimah,
tetapi bakal isterimu itu hanyalah wanita akhir zaman
yang mempunyai cita-cita, menjadi solehah..

dan kamu...
berlapang dadalah untuk memiliki isteri yang tidak sehebat siapapun
kerana kamu juga harus sedar bahawa,
kamu bukanlah Rasulullah.
pun bukan Ali bin Abi Talib.
tapi...
Kamu hanyalah suami akhir zaman yang berusaha untuk menjadi soleh..




***************

Pada suatu hari, Khalid bin Safwan melihat satu perhimpunan di dalam sebuah masjid di Basrah. Lalu beliau bertanya akan tujuan perhimpunan itu diadakan kepada seorang lelaki yang hadir di situ:


‘Apakah tujuan perhimpunan ini wahai saudara?’


‘Seorang wanita sedang menerangkan tentang ciri wanita yang layak dikahwini’ jawab lelaki tadi apabila ditanya oleh Khalid bin Safwan. Lalu Khalid terus menyatakan hajatnya kepada wanita tadi. katanya:


‘Aku inginkan perawan berpengalaman seperti seorang isteri. Bila dikahwini sesuci perawan. Manis apabila didekati. Mulia bila berjauhan, dia mampu hidup dalam kemewahan tetapi bila dilanda kemiskinan dia masih punya keperibadian seperti orang kaya dan dan kerendahan hati si miskin. Apabila kami kaya, kami hidup seperti warga dunia. Pabila miskin, KEHIDUPAN kami seperti warga akhirat’ begitulah permintaan Khalid yang diajukan kepada wanita tersebut.


Tiba-tiba, seorang wanita bangun lalu menjawab permintaan Khalid bin Safwan: ‘Aku kenal akan wanita yang kamu maksudkan itu’


‘Di mana dia wahai saudari?’ tanya Khalid lagi. ‘Dia ada di syurga ALLAH. Jadi, bekerjalah untuk ke syurga dan temui dia di sana’ terkejut dengan jawapan itu, Khalid bin Safwan didatangi dengan sebuah keinsafan. Dia berlalu.


*****************



KERANA...KESEMPURNAAN ITU HANYA MILIK PENGHUNI SYURGA.

P/s- terima kasih buat Atiqah Humaira atas perkongsian ini.

Boyfriend 5.0 vs Husband 1.0

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the
overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as EPL 5.0, NBA 3.0 and ESPN 2.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?


Signed,
Desperate

--------------------------

-----------------------------------------------

Reply:

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind; Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an
operating system. Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1. Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.


Good Luck,
IT Support

Who Understand Us all??

Boys complained, they dont understand girls and vice versa. As a female, I, myself couldnt understand my type. Explain that to me, why?

I dont understand guys. Why treating us as if u luv us when u are not? Why call "sayang" if u dont "sayang" us? Words are merely words. Is it? Then how do u guys ever express your TRUE FEELINGS with words? No such thing as expressing them by words? Then, dont live among the human population. Human invented literacy for a reason which is to COMMUNICATE.

That's it. I am done. I give up! Tired of searching. Why always the wrong ones? "Bodo"! (pronounce it like Dr. Boon > with a thick /d/ sound.) Liar, liar, liar! That's it!