Yesterday, while I was rearranging my books, I found a big farewell card from my dear frens back in Auckland. I opened it and read every message written inside. I was touched and surprised by how much I miss them already.
That's life. Life must go on. I'm moving, yea I'm moving babe! Hahaha! Bullshit to old love! I just wanna be happy, n rich, n healthy n rich again, with never ending flows of money. Coz right now, I still havent got my allowance. Aargh!! How frustrating can that be? Really2 frustrating! Staying in KL, 5 mins away from Mid Valley, with SALES everywhere (not literally everywhere, duh~) complimented with empty pockets, how perfect is that?! *sigh*
"What the heck was my dad thinking?" was my latest status on FB.
My dad was supposed to visit me tonight and passed me some stuff from home. But, tonight, he wasnt alone. He brought along that "bitch" and those son and daughters of that bitch. He even asked me to meet em and shake their hands. What the Fcuk! Daym!
Abah, oh Abah! Of course-lah I put on a damn fake face. Haktuih!
My dad was supposed to visit me tonight and passed me some stuff from home. But, tonight, he wasnt alone. He brought along that "bitch" and those son and daughters of that bitch. He even asked me to meet em and shake their hands. What the Fcuk! Daym!
Abah, oh Abah! Of course-lah I put on a damn fake face. Haktuih!
Thank you Allah for the guts, courage and patience that you lent to me just now.
I finally said it to him. And now, we're officially done. It was painful. Undeniably hurtful but, we managed to settle things in the most matured way we could both think of.
Thanks for the moments. You definitely made me stronger and more patience. And I am sorry for everything I'd done that hurts your feelings.
Maybe, we could work things out once we're both ready, once you learn to appreciate me better, and most importantly, once you learn to truthfully love me with all your heart.
I finally said it to him. And now, we're officially done. It was painful. Undeniably hurtful but, we managed to settle things in the most matured way we could both think of.
Thanks for the moments. You definitely made me stronger and more patience. And I am sorry for everything I'd done that hurts your feelings.
Maybe, we could work things out once we're both ready, once you learn to appreciate me better, and most importantly, once you learn to truthfully love me with all your heart.
3-days-orientation session for Cohort 4 YEAR 4 & Pismp Year 1. Hello! Year 4, okay! As if we're kiddos. I can still understand those speeches about rules and academic. But, the childish games and treating us like some noobs and freshies really annoyed me.
Who needs Orientation,
when they are lame and boring,
when they are too draggy,
when the activities were designed for audience way younger than your age,
when the Orientation is full of "lipan" and "botol" ^_^
when you're hungry and the facis're taking your lunch time way too long!
when you're already the super senior and being treated as if you're the super junior.
Thank goodness it has come to its end... urgh!
Who needs Orientation,
when they are lame and boring,
when they are too draggy,
when the activities were designed for audience way younger than your age,
when the Orientation is full of "lipan" and "botol" ^_^
when you're hungry and the facis're taking your lunch time way too long!
when you're already the super senior and being treated as if you're the super junior.
Thank goodness it has come to its end... urgh!
I am culture shock! Almost 2 years abroad might seem like a short while. But, believe me, it is enough to make you flatter with the new environment and culture that you could actually undergone culture shock being in your own country.
I am finally back in Ipba. Now, I'm staying in Block 4 with other 2 frenz which are still no where to be seen around campus. I got here by bus from JB. The thing that I worried d most was being in Pudu and taking a cab from there. What if the system changed? What if I cant get a cab from the previous taxi stand nymore? My stuff was so heavy, how to cross the street? Especially with KL's traffic....
Then, true enough, there are a few changes in Pudu. Like the improvisation of Puduraya, and it's easier to get cab now that more honest taxi drivers using meter around Pudu, n the increase of taxi fee. Ipba has a new hostel gate, I tell you! hahaha... I was thinking of asking the taxi driver to drop me in front of Block 4, only to be disappointed by d pak cik guard. So, I had to carry all my heavy stuff from Block 6 for registration to Block 4.
Entered my room, and tadaa! Well, nothing shock me this time. It's Ipba. I am already prepared for the worst. The room was not that bad but, mind you, wasn't ok at all too. Super duper dusty, and here comes the worst part; both lights and the fan in d room cannot be switched on. Imagine that! I reached my room around 5 something. Started cleaning quarter to 6 and now, I m sitting on my desk in d dark. At least, it is not hot in here thanks to the outside wind from my opened window.
Tomorrow is my last day of holiday. I have to report to college on Wednesday. I m still in holidays fever!!! Dont wanna start study yet. Tolonglaah...
I am finally back in Ipba. Now, I'm staying in Block 4 with other 2 frenz which are still no where to be seen around campus. I got here by bus from JB. The thing that I worried d most was being in Pudu and taking a cab from there. What if the system changed? What if I cant get a cab from the previous taxi stand nymore? My stuff was so heavy, how to cross the street? Especially with KL's traffic....
Then, true enough, there are a few changes in Pudu. Like the improvisation of Puduraya, and it's easier to get cab now that more honest taxi drivers using meter around Pudu, n the increase of taxi fee. Ipba has a new hostel gate, I tell you! hahaha... I was thinking of asking the taxi driver to drop me in front of Block 4, only to be disappointed by d pak cik guard. So, I had to carry all my heavy stuff from Block 6 for registration to Block 4.
Entered my room, and tadaa! Well, nothing shock me this time. It's Ipba. I am already prepared for the worst. The room was not that bad but, mind you, wasn't ok at all too. Super duper dusty, and here comes the worst part; both lights and the fan in d room cannot be switched on. Imagine that! I reached my room around 5 something. Started cleaning quarter to 6 and now, I m sitting on my desk in d dark. At least, it is not hot in here thanks to the outside wind from my opened window.
Tomorrow is my last day of holiday. I have to report to college on Wednesday. I m still in holidays fever!!! Dont wanna start study yet. Tolonglaah...
Living in boarding school again. Just that now, no more school hours, prep, and co-co xtvts for me. I'm currently staying with my mum and siblings in Sek Tun Fatimah.
I despise registration day. So many people, so many cars, hectic, etc. Plus, some families are just so annoying.
Today is registration day in STF. Menyampah I! I'm staying in Block E; the worst hostel block it is. Very small parking space at the side of the block. So of course, there are so many cars parked there. They simply parked nywer. To start with, I had to fetch my bro from work. But, my car was being surrounded by other cars with no driver. So, how am I suppose to know which car belongs to whom. I hentam aje lah you. Reverse here and there. Struggling to break free. Lol! Then, there was this tree trunk behind my car. I was trying to avoid that trunk. Then, "kaboom!" Shit! Errrr... what was that? I put my gear into P and got down from the car. Check the back of my car. Then I saw some scratches with black paint on my car's bumper. Then, I thought, Aww! This is not good. I looked back and saw this Black Proton Wira. Errr... Did I just bumped onto this car? Aiyaa! Dielah. I looked around for the owner of that car but nobody seemed to show any concern about that car. So, cabut lah beb! I was pretty shocked tho! But, the car was just fine with no scratch or damage.
Siot kan aku.. haha. I know. But, it was an accident. Plus, no harm or damage was involved.
Im goin back to Ipba by bus tomorrow. Umm... I hate the crowd in Pudu. Gal! Pening! Im excited plus worried about my final year in Ipba. What would it be like? Hope everything's gonna be fine.
I despise registration day. So many people, so many cars, hectic, etc. Plus, some families are just so annoying.
Today is registration day in STF. Menyampah I! I'm staying in Block E; the worst hostel block it is. Very small parking space at the side of the block. So of course, there are so many cars parked there. They simply parked nywer. To start with, I had to fetch my bro from work. But, my car was being surrounded by other cars with no driver. So, how am I suppose to know which car belongs to whom. I hentam aje lah you. Reverse here and there. Struggling to break free. Lol! Then, there was this tree trunk behind my car. I was trying to avoid that trunk. Then, "kaboom!" Shit! Errrr... what was that? I put my gear into P and got down from the car. Check the back of my car. Then I saw some scratches with black paint on my car's bumper. Then, I thought, Aww! This is not good. I looked back and saw this Black Proton Wira. Errr... Did I just bumped onto this car? Aiyaa! Dielah. I looked around for the owner of that car but nobody seemed to show any concern about that car. So, cabut lah beb! I was pretty shocked tho! But, the car was just fine with no scratch or damage.
Siot kan aku.. haha. I know. But, it was an accident. Plus, no harm or damage was involved.
Im goin back to Ipba by bus tomorrow. Umm... I hate the crowd in Pudu. Gal! Pening! Im excited plus worried about my final year in Ipba. What would it be like? Hope everything's gonna be fine.
I'm bleeding tears. Bleeding from a scar within.
It hurts. Yes, it hurts.
The pain is unspeakable. Even more painful, you don't see my scar, my pain, my tears.
You stabbed me with an invisible dagger, that not even you could see with your bare eyes.
My heart is dying. It's so painful that it begged for dear life. I am trying to tell you, but you wouldn't listen. This story needs to end. And I am sorry that our story almost comes to an end.
I wish that I could gather my guts so that I could tell you this:
"Maybe later, when we both are truly ready.
Maybe later, when you could give me your life and heart.
Maybe later, when you learn to appreciate me.
And Maybe later, with God's will, we will be together again."
It hurts. Yes, it hurts.
The pain is unspeakable. Even more painful, you don't see my scar, my pain, my tears.
You stabbed me with an invisible dagger, that not even you could see with your bare eyes.
My heart is dying. It's so painful that it begged for dear life. I am trying to tell you, but you wouldn't listen. This story needs to end. And I am sorry that our story almost comes to an end.
I wish that I could gather my guts so that I could tell you this:
"Maybe later, when we both are truly ready.
Maybe later, when you could give me your life and heart.
Maybe later, when you learn to appreciate me.
And Maybe later, with God's will, we will be together again."
Labels:
Life,
Love Story
I want to write something here but, honestly bebz, I have no idea what to write.
I wanna continue writing songs. Aargh! Not a single sentence... sepatah haram pun tak keluar. When I finally tuned into a good melody, I could not find a suitable lyrics for it pulak and vice versa.
I wonder what 2010 will bring... I hope there would be less crisis, less conflicts, less pains and struggle but more happiness, success, health and wealth. But, are those possible? No pain no gain.
Anyhow, my new year resolution is to lose plenty of weight! Yes, I want to lose as much pounds as possible. We'll see.. we'll see. Oooh yeah... and maybe I can include one more resolution. That is, to ditch my ungrateful boyfriend.
I wanna continue writing songs. Aargh! Not a single sentence... sepatah haram pun tak keluar. When I finally tuned into a good melody, I could not find a suitable lyrics for it pulak and vice versa.
I wonder what 2010 will bring... I hope there would be less crisis, less conflicts, less pains and struggle but more happiness, success, health and wealth. But, are those possible? No pain no gain.
Anyhow, my new year resolution is to lose plenty of weight! Yes, I want to lose as much pounds as possible. We'll see.. we'll see. Oooh yeah... and maybe I can include one more resolution. That is, to ditch my ungrateful boyfriend.
Dulu aku ada 2 nenek. Bulan Mei tahun ni, nenek kesayangan ku telah kembali ke Rahmatullah. Kini tinggallah nenekku yang sorang lagi ni. Umurnya dah 85tahun tapi masih gagah, dan takda pun sakit2. Semuanya hasil daripada diet sihatnya selama ini yang tak makan daging ayam dan daging. Hanya makan ikan dan banyak berulam je.
Nenek aku ni, dah hampir sepuluh tahun duduk dengan anak2nya. Dari satu rumah ke satu rumah. Bila sorang anak ni dapat bersabar dengan kerenahnya, si nenek ni pulak nak demand macam2. Rumah sempit lah, bosan tinggal kat kampung la (iolah... dari die kecik duduk bandar la katakan... ). Takpun, anak2nya dah tak mampu nak bersabar.
Sebelum2 ni, aku, adik beradikku dan ibu ku ingatkan anak2 nenek aku ni yang tak nak sabar dgn maknya (ada betulnya jugaklah sebenarnya), rupa2nya, nenek aku ni memang suka cari masalah. Sekarang, dia tinggal dengan kami. Pelik, bila dikenangkan. Dulu, she used to treat us very badly. Bad mouthing my mum to her in-laws and children, looking down at my mum and my siblings. Now, she has no choice sebab none of her kids sanggup nak jaga dia except my mum yang sangat baik hati ni.
Seminggu, dua tu tak nampak lagi belangnya. Dah lama2... hah amik ko! Baru berapa minggu duduk dengan kami, dah berjela2 umpat keji, fitnah yang ditabur. Kalau mengumpat tu masih boleh la ditahan dek telinga ni. At least, we can just jawab "uhhuh", "ye", "haah", etc. Tapi, die terlalu buruk sangka kat orang. Nampak orang India je, die akan kata "Hah, tu dorang nak buat apa tu? Entah2, nak.....". Nampak orang Cina je, "Ish, maktok tak suka orang cina ni. Tu mesti dorang nak ...." (Padahal, dia tu pun cina! Al-peliks!) Paling aku tak suka, dia bersyakwasangka kat adik aku pulak. Aku misplace RM200, pastu dari gaya dia, seolah2 dia menuding jari kat adik aku. Pastu kata adik aku yang baru 8 tahun tu tak guna, hitam and entah apa2. Padahal budak tu xda buat salah pun kat orang tua tu. Ish! Kalau ikutkan hati aku, nak aja aku hempuk2! Aku punya respect kat dia dah lama hilang. Atau mungkin juga, she never earned my respect! Hibanyalah adik aku tu. Tapi, according to my uncles and aunts, maktok aku tu memang ade problem dengan budak2. She is weird. She's been like that since she was young.
Pendengarannya dah mula hilang, penglihatan dah kabur, lidah sentiasa nak makanan masin, tawar katanya. Itu semua perkara biasa yang perlu bersabar bila jaga orang tua. Tapi, bila tang mulut macam tu, dengan dok mengungkit hal2 lama, salah silap anak2 dia yang lama2 beratus2 kali depan orang lain... kan tak elok. Anak2 dia tu kan Uncle n aunty aku gak. Ish...
Hah! Ni luahan perasaan aku buat masa ni. Well, at least, these are the things I want to complain at the moment. Will update later... no promise yeah..
Nenek aku ni, dah hampir sepuluh tahun duduk dengan anak2nya. Dari satu rumah ke satu rumah. Bila sorang anak ni dapat bersabar dengan kerenahnya, si nenek ni pulak nak demand macam2. Rumah sempit lah, bosan tinggal kat kampung la (iolah... dari die kecik duduk bandar la katakan... ). Takpun, anak2nya dah tak mampu nak bersabar.
Sebelum2 ni, aku, adik beradikku dan ibu ku ingatkan anak2 nenek aku ni yang tak nak sabar dgn maknya (ada betulnya jugaklah sebenarnya), rupa2nya, nenek aku ni memang suka cari masalah. Sekarang, dia tinggal dengan kami. Pelik, bila dikenangkan. Dulu, she used to treat us very badly. Bad mouthing my mum to her in-laws and children, looking down at my mum and my siblings. Now, she has no choice sebab none of her kids sanggup nak jaga dia except my mum yang sangat baik hati ni.
Seminggu, dua tu tak nampak lagi belangnya. Dah lama2... hah amik ko! Baru berapa minggu duduk dengan kami, dah berjela2 umpat keji, fitnah yang ditabur. Kalau mengumpat tu masih boleh la ditahan dek telinga ni. At least, we can just jawab "uhhuh", "ye", "haah", etc. Tapi, die terlalu buruk sangka kat orang. Nampak orang India je, die akan kata "Hah, tu dorang nak buat apa tu? Entah2, nak.....". Nampak orang Cina je, "Ish, maktok tak suka orang cina ni. Tu mesti dorang nak ...." (Padahal, dia tu pun cina! Al-peliks!) Paling aku tak suka, dia bersyakwasangka kat adik aku pulak. Aku misplace RM200, pastu dari gaya dia, seolah2 dia menuding jari kat adik aku. Pastu kata adik aku yang baru 8 tahun tu tak guna, hitam and entah apa2. Padahal budak tu xda buat salah pun kat orang tua tu. Ish! Kalau ikutkan hati aku, nak aja aku hempuk2! Aku punya respect kat dia dah lama hilang. Atau mungkin juga, she never earned my respect! Hibanyalah adik aku tu. Tapi, according to my uncles and aunts, maktok aku tu memang ade problem dengan budak2. She is weird. She's been like that since she was young.
Pendengarannya dah mula hilang, penglihatan dah kabur, lidah sentiasa nak makanan masin, tawar katanya. Itu semua perkara biasa yang perlu bersabar bila jaga orang tua. Tapi, bila tang mulut macam tu, dengan dok mengungkit hal2 lama, salah silap anak2 dia yang lama2 beratus2 kali depan orang lain... kan tak elok. Anak2 dia tu kan Uncle n aunty aku gak. Ish...
Hah! Ni luahan perasaan aku buat masa ni. Well, at least, these are the things I want to complain at the moment. Will update later... no promise yeah..
I hereby declare myself as one of the worst bloggers in the universe. Fuuuh! Abandoning my blog as long as I could. Taking my sweet time updating this blog. Time passes by... People come and go... And it's almost new year. 2010.. is just around the corner. Christmas fell on the day when my whole neighbourhood went blackout for the whole day. Indeed, no current for almost 4 days! Crazy I tell you! And the most important thing is, I am now, back in Malaysia. And with only a month of holidays, I gotta go back to IPBA for my final year. *sigh*
My flight from Auckland touched down at around 8.30pm on the 3rd Dec. Ever since then, I only had 2 chances to went online. Now, I am so happy that I finally have a broadband. No more problem to keep myself update.
That bf of mine... hmm as usual. The same old matter. The same old style. Tired! Urgh! Im waiting.. Im waiting... Im waiting...
My flight from Auckland touched down at around 8.30pm on the 3rd Dec. Ever since then, I only had 2 chances to went online. Now, I am so happy that I finally have a broadband. No more problem to keep myself update.
That bf of mine... hmm as usual. The same old matter. The same old style. Tired! Urgh! Im waiting.. Im waiting... Im waiting...
Labels:
Life
Believe it or not... I studied while I was sleeping, in my dreams. Yes, I swear it's true.
Back in my high school, one incident that is still clear in my head now was during my preparation for SPM, 2 weeks before the first paper; Additional Mathematics. I always failed My Add Math paper for the whole 2 years, form 4 and 5. I didnt want to smudge my SPM result's slip with an "F" for Add Math. Thus, I spent the remaining 2 weeks (lambat betul dapat kesedaran nak study *sigh*) before Add Math paper, luckily Add Math was the first paper that year. I spent the 2 weeks doing at least... AT LEAST... 200 Add Math questions per day! Crazy, eh? Hahaha... I even practiced doing some of the Mathematical problems while I was sleeping. Sometimes I realised when it happened. You know when sometimes you were dreaming and in that dream, you actually realised that it's all a dream? That's what I meant. Sometimes I realised I was studying, doing Mathematics exercise, applying those Mathematical formula in my dream. But, sometimes, I only realised it when I woke up the next morning, reflecting what I dreamt about the night before. Honestly, what I dreamt wasnt merely a dream or random Mathematical stuff. I really felt tired the next morning. Mentally exhausted. In a way, it is good to be able to study even when your eyes closed. You could save some extra times especially when you're running out of time. On the other hand, you wont get enough rest.
Yesterday, I have been studying all day (of course with a list of off-tasking acts every now and then). I was studying for my EDUC 348 paper that is scheduled in exactly 1 week from now. Before I slept last night, I went through all the schemas in my head. Then, I realised, I missed to memorise one point in my note. So, I spent about 5 minutes memorising and understanding that particular point. Finished studying, I called Zainul, then, slept. In my sleep, I was dreaming... and this time I was aware that I was doing it again in my dream. Since I realised that my brain was ready for another studying-dream session, I forced my brain to revise all the points I have memorised since 2 days ago. That was awesome!!! Hahaha. Save my time to revise what I read and studied. Should do that more often.
To control your mind set...
When I was in high school, I loved attending those motivational camps. Coz I found those camps managed to boost my self-esteem and intrinsic motivation. Honestly! I learned a lot from those camps.
Name: Nur Izzati Hassan
Date: (tarikh result PMR keluar, tak ingat daa)
Alhamdulillah, saya telah berjaya lulus dengan cemerlang dalam PMR dengan mendapat 8A.
B.Melayu A
B. Inggeris A
Matematik A
.....
...
(your signature here)
Contoh 2
(This example is a sample of a list of my future missions written when I was 11 years old. There were a few fill-in-the-blanks sentences I need to fill in the paper. One mission that I still remember is as below...)
Nama saya ialah ...........(my name lah duh~)...........
Sekarang saya berumur .....(time tu 11 tahun)..........
Dalam masa 10 tahun dari sekarang, saya sedang.....(aku tulis: melanjutkan pelajaran di salah sebuah universiti terkemuka di luar negara)....
[In the real missions paper, there are more sentences that I had to fill in. Alhamdulillah, Tuhan makbulkan. I cried while reading the missions paper when I found it last year, when I came home during summer break while cleaning my book shelves.... It's been exactly 10 years after the mission was written.]
Wish me luck for my final, folks... For my lil bro, Izzat, good luck for your SPM, I have faith in you and miss you so much. And for all my frenz sitting for their final now or soon, Good Luck, yo!
Back in my high school, one incident that is still clear in my head now was during my preparation for SPM, 2 weeks before the first paper; Additional Mathematics. I always failed My Add Math paper for the whole 2 years, form 4 and 5. I didnt want to smudge my SPM result's slip with an "F" for Add Math. Thus, I spent the remaining 2 weeks (lambat betul dapat kesedaran nak study *sigh*) before Add Math paper, luckily Add Math was the first paper that year. I spent the 2 weeks doing at least... AT LEAST... 200 Add Math questions per day! Crazy, eh? Hahaha... I even practiced doing some of the Mathematical problems while I was sleeping. Sometimes I realised when it happened. You know when sometimes you were dreaming and in that dream, you actually realised that it's all a dream? That's what I meant. Sometimes I realised I was studying, doing Mathematics exercise, applying those Mathematical formula in my dream. But, sometimes, I only realised it when I woke up the next morning, reflecting what I dreamt about the night before. Honestly, what I dreamt wasnt merely a dream or random Mathematical stuff. I really felt tired the next morning. Mentally exhausted. In a way, it is good to be able to study even when your eyes closed. You could save some extra times especially when you're running out of time. On the other hand, you wont get enough rest.
Yesterday, I have been studying all day (of course with a list of off-tasking acts every now and then). I was studying for my EDUC 348 paper that is scheduled in exactly 1 week from now. Before I slept last night, I went through all the schemas in my head. Then, I realised, I missed to memorise one point in my note. So, I spent about 5 minutes memorising and understanding that particular point. Finished studying, I called Zainul, then, slept. In my sleep, I was dreaming... and this time I was aware that I was doing it again in my dream. Since I realised that my brain was ready for another studying-dream session, I forced my brain to revise all the points I have memorised since 2 days ago. That was awesome!!! Hahaha. Save my time to revise what I read and studied. Should do that more often.
To control your mind set...
When I was in high school, I loved attending those motivational camps. Coz I found those camps managed to boost my self-esteem and intrinsic motivation. Honestly! I learned a lot from those camps.
- I learned that you learned best with naps in between every one hour or maybe every half-an-hour for certain people with shorter attention span. Nap= not more than 5 minutes sleep NOT those 1 or 2 hours of sleep! We practiced to set our mind to get into a deep nap, and wake up exactly 5 minutes after that. It worked and still works, man! It's all about your mental power. All we had to do was talk to your mind, inside your mind, saying "I will wake up in 5 minutes time" for several times in your head. You could do this mind setting to wake up early in the morning by saying a prayer to Allah, "Ya Allah, bangunkan lah aku, hidupkan lah aku pada pukul 4 pagi esok untuk beribadah kepadaMu, di jalan Mu. Amin." Honestly, I learned this in one of those motivational camps.
- Another practice to set your mind is... take a bucket and put it somewhere on the floor, sit quite a distance from the basket, crumple a paper, look and FOCUS (this is important) at the middle, inner circle of the basket, and throw the crumpled paper into the basket. I did the same technique when playing darts, targeting on the bulls eye. It works!
- Kad Matlamat: Maybe some of you heard about this before. Make a small, practical, easy-to-access, and viewable to your sights. Write your name, the date when you want the goal to be achieved, and the goal itself, of course. Below are 2 examples of the contents of my 2 kad matlamats heh..
Name: Nur Izzati Hassan
Date: (tarikh result PMR keluar, tak ingat daa)
Alhamdulillah, saya telah berjaya lulus dengan cemerlang dalam PMR dengan mendapat 8A.
B.Melayu A
B. Inggeris A
Matematik A
.....
...
(your signature here)
Contoh 2
(This example is a sample of a list of my future missions written when I was 11 years old. There were a few fill-in-the-blanks sentences I need to fill in the paper. One mission that I still remember is as below...)
Nama saya ialah ...........(my name lah duh~)...........
Sekarang saya berumur .....(time tu 11 tahun)..........
Dalam masa 10 tahun dari sekarang, saya sedang.....(aku tulis: melanjutkan pelajaran di salah sebuah universiti terkemuka di luar negara)....
[In the real missions paper, there are more sentences that I had to fill in. Alhamdulillah, Tuhan makbulkan. I cried while reading the missions paper when I found it last year, when I came home during summer break while cleaning my book shelves.... It's been exactly 10 years after the mission was written.]
- If any of you watched the first or the second season of "Survivor", the winner said that when she registered her name for the game, before she received a phone call saying that her name was chosen to be the next survivor competitor, she made the same "kad matlamat" as the one I mentioned above. She pasted the card on her pc screen monitor since that was where she spent her time most. The card said, "I will be chosen to compete in the next Survivor, and won the Survivor $1 million.". And true enough, it worked for her.
- Okay... that's all I can share about mind setting. There are myriads of ways to set your mind tho.. Hope these methods help.
Wish me luck for my final, folks... For my lil bro, Izzat, good luck for your SPM, I have faith in you and miss you so much. And for all my frenz sitting for their final now or soon, Good Luck, yo!
I am so angry, dissappointed, feel like throwing everything to the wall. But the thing is, I dont know how to put my feelings into words. I am a one-off person. Easily get mad, easily pissed off, easily flattered, but all those only happen for a short while. If I were given a pen and paper at the point of time when all those feelings occurred, I would guarantee I could write a good masterpiece of a blog entry.
Been holding back my tears for few days, weeks now. I know crying would at least ease this burden inside my heart. Finally, this morning, thanks to Pkah who randomly came across a sad love-story blog which put both of us in tears after reading the blog. I finally managed to force those tears running. I felt much better after crying. I was about to do something stupid because of the anger I have been holding back. Luckily, I got back to my feet after I calmed down.
But still, I wanna throw a tantrum. I want him to know that he has a share in "this". I am not alone. Aaaaa!!! Marahnye!!! Feel like screaming to the top of my lung. Tak faham, tak faham, tak faham!!!!!!
Been holding back my tears for few days, weeks now. I know crying would at least ease this burden inside my heart. Finally, this morning, thanks to Pkah who randomly came across a sad love-story blog which put both of us in tears after reading the blog. I finally managed to force those tears running. I felt much better after crying. I was about to do something stupid because of the anger I have been holding back. Luckily, I got back to my feet after I calmed down.
But still, I wanna throw a tantrum. I want him to know that he has a share in "this". I am not alone. Aaaaa!!! Marahnye!!! Feel like screaming to the top of my lung. Tak faham, tak faham, tak faham!!!!!!
Been ignoring the alarming call for attention from my body, inside out.
My skin is getting more and more dry each day with the uncertain weather. Say Bye Bye to my moist, soft skin. It is too dry to an extent that I dont even dare looking at my legs and feet. I am too lazy to put on lotion everyday. I do put it on once a while but I guess that is not enough here. The weather is too dry for my Asian skin type.
Pimples, black and white heads break out. Very noticeable open pores, clogged pores. You name it. Urgh! Either I was too busy that I missed my weekly mask-day, or I was just too lazy and prefer to spend my spare time lying on bed rather than beautifying my skin. But, one good thing being in a dry country like NZ is that I dont have to worry about oily skin, the sweat underneath my make up, or open pores and melting make up that clog my pores. That is a super plus point, yeah! I love putting on make up here. I can walk, climb every hill around town all day long without worrying about my foundation or powder melting down. The most will be my lip balm dried out or the smudge on my eyes caused by my eye liner or eyeshadow.
Hair! Aaaarrgh!!! Totally ignoring my damaged hair. Very dry! I usually went to the hair saloon to get hair treatment at least twice a year, back in Malaysia. But, tho I was back in Malaysia last year, I just didnt have the time to treat my hair. So, up till now, it has been consecutively 2 years my hair without treatment. And being in a dry country is just making it worst. Very dry! *super sigh* I had to ask Intan to cut my waist-length hair few months ago just to control the damage at the edge of the hair. Gonna crash any saloon I could find once I reach Malaysia.
Those are just some major problems I am having currently. The list goes on and on. Would appreciate a mother-daughter bonding session with Ibu doing facial or spa together. Miss Ibu sooooo very much!
My skin is getting more and more dry each day with the uncertain weather. Say Bye Bye to my moist, soft skin. It is too dry to an extent that I dont even dare looking at my legs and feet. I am too lazy to put on lotion everyday. I do put it on once a while but I guess that is not enough here. The weather is too dry for my Asian skin type.
Pimples, black and white heads break out. Very noticeable open pores, clogged pores. You name it. Urgh! Either I was too busy that I missed my weekly mask-day, or I was just too lazy and prefer to spend my spare time lying on bed rather than beautifying my skin. But, one good thing being in a dry country like NZ is that I dont have to worry about oily skin, the sweat underneath my make up, or open pores and melting make up that clog my pores. That is a super plus point, yeah! I love putting on make up here. I can walk, climb every hill around town all day long without worrying about my foundation or powder melting down. The most will be my lip balm dried out or the smudge on my eyes caused by my eye liner or eyeshadow.
Hair! Aaaarrgh!!! Totally ignoring my damaged hair. Very dry! I usually went to the hair saloon to get hair treatment at least twice a year, back in Malaysia. But, tho I was back in Malaysia last year, I just didnt have the time to treat my hair. So, up till now, it has been consecutively 2 years my hair without treatment. And being in a dry country is just making it worst. Very dry! *super sigh* I had to ask Intan to cut my waist-length hair few months ago just to control the damage at the edge of the hair. Gonna crash any saloon I could find once I reach Malaysia.
Those are just some major problems I am having currently. The list goes on and on. Would appreciate a mother-daughter bonding session with Ibu doing facial or spa together. Miss Ibu sooooo very much!
KeCeWa...
Sangat kecewa...
SaYanG...
Sangat sayang...
Tapi kecewa, tapi sayang juga.
Kecewa dengan dia.
Sayang sama dia.
Sayang, sayang, ayang, yang.... Sayang ke?
Betul ke sayang? Sayang ke kat dia???
.....
...... .. .. .... .. . . . . . .
Sangat kecewa...
SaYanG...
Sangat sayang...
Tapi kecewa, tapi sayang juga.
Kecewa dengan dia.
Sayang sama dia.
Sayang, sayang, ayang, yang.... Sayang ke?
Betul ke sayang? Sayang ke kat dia???
.....
...... .. .. .... .. . . . . . .
...Study Mode...
tapi malas juge sebenarnya. Mood nak study ni on and off.
Tak sampai 2 minggu before my final exam and I only studied like 0.5% of everything!
Aaaaaaa!!! I think I can start panicking now.
...Check my pocket...
Duit.. mana duit?? !! Aik?! Baru je masuk allowance.
Mana entah duit2 ni hilang.. hmmm...
Duit dah bertukar jadi garments... *sigh*
Toloooong!!!! Saya mau balik rumah, nak ikat kaki tangan tak mau pergi shopping lagi.
Rindu Ibu Abah Mar Izzat Izzah.
MEstilah rindu Zainul juge. *wink2*
tapi malas juge sebenarnya. Mood nak study ni on and off.
Tak sampai 2 minggu before my final exam and I only studied like 0.5% of everything!
Aaaaaaa!!! I think I can start panicking now.
...Check my pocket...
Duit.. mana duit?? !! Aik?! Baru je masuk allowance.
Mana entah duit2 ni hilang.. hmmm...
Duit dah bertukar jadi garments... *sigh*
Toloooong!!!! Saya mau balik rumah, nak ikat kaki tangan tak mau pergi shopping lagi.
Rindu Ibu Abah Mar Izzat Izzah.
MEstilah rindu Zainul juge. *wink2*
As I am writing this entry, I am no longer residing my home up in Level 5, the Cambridge. I am now staying with Min and Pikah. That house... or room.. or whatever it should be called, is a home to me here in Auckland. Reminiscing the moments I had in, with, and about the house....
To start off with, I never thought of staying alone before February this year. Until, I heard from Hijrah that Nisah and Ain (who supposedly be my housemates this year) already signed a contract to stay in The Railway Campus in a 2-bedroom apartment without me knowing it. I had no other options but to rent the house because there was no other choice for me. It was lucky enough for me to found the house on the net, lucky too that Dzeti offered her help to deal with the landlord. At that point, I thought living alone would be very unpleasant, lonely, empty, etc... It was true during the first few weeks living alone in that house. Nothing much to do. But, after getting use to it, I found that it wasnt that bad after all. Indeed, I loved staying alone. Besides, staying alone as a student is not much different than staying in a house with housematesss. Many of my friends who are flatting do not know the well being of their housemates. They dont even talk much with their housemates. So, what's the different? If I felt like meeting people and having a chit chat, I could just chill out with frens at their places.
My previous house, 505 cambridge was a great, comfy shelter to me. Despite of the over-budget rent that I had to bear every week, the house was the most important asset I need while studying abroad. I preferred to starve rather than being kicked out of the house. It was not the perfect house I always imagined to live in during my final year in Auckland, but, it was good enough to keep me company during my ups and downs here. It managed to fit more than 10 people at once. That was the place where Umsa people gathered to prepare for Umsa ball's deco stuff. Also, because I wal living alone, I could simply make my own decision on the house deco, toilet deco, the colour of pots, plates, etc. No one to interfere with my decision and deco taste. Haha.. Pink, red, white! I loike!!! No need to close the toilet door, dont have to keep the music player's volume down, can stack my pots and plates every now and then depending on MY busy timetable, can dance, jump, do yoga or whatsoever, anytime without being shy that my housemates would see mme doing stuff, can fart or burp as loud as I wanted or making whatever sound I wanted in the toilet, etc. Hahhaha!
But of course, there are some downfalls of living alone. Especially during the time of the month when my mood swing started and when I wasnt filled with Umsa stuff or assignments. . I would feel a sudden emo-ness, emptiness, loneliness, and all the -ness i could imagine.
Hmm.. I been cleaning and scrubbing the house few days before I checked out. And yesterday, I finally managed to empty the house, clean and shine. These were few shots taken before I handed the house key back to Alistair, the landlord who was sooo cute, understanding and considerate... hehe sempat lagi nak puji.
To start off with, I never thought of staying alone before February this year. Until, I heard from Hijrah that Nisah and Ain (who supposedly be my housemates this year) already signed a contract to stay in The Railway Campus in a 2-bedroom apartment without me knowing it. I had no other options but to rent the house because there was no other choice for me. It was lucky enough for me to found the house on the net, lucky too that Dzeti offered her help to deal with the landlord. At that point, I thought living alone would be very unpleasant, lonely, empty, etc... It was true during the first few weeks living alone in that house. Nothing much to do. But, after getting use to it, I found that it wasnt that bad after all. Indeed, I loved staying alone. Besides, staying alone as a student is not much different than staying in a house with housematesss. Many of my friends who are flatting do not know the well being of their housemates. They dont even talk much with their housemates. So, what's the different? If I felt like meeting people and having a chit chat, I could just chill out with frens at their places.
My previous house, 505 cambridge was a great, comfy shelter to me. Despite of the over-budget rent that I had to bear every week, the house was the most important asset I need while studying abroad. I preferred to starve rather than being kicked out of the house. It was not the perfect house I always imagined to live in during my final year in Auckland, but, it was good enough to keep me company during my ups and downs here. It managed to fit more than 10 people at once. That was the place where Umsa people gathered to prepare for Umsa ball's deco stuff. Also, because I wal living alone, I could simply make my own decision on the house deco, toilet deco, the colour of pots, plates, etc. No one to interfere with my decision and deco taste. Haha.. Pink, red, white! I loike!!! No need to close the toilet door, dont have to keep the music player's volume down, can stack my pots and plates every now and then depending on MY busy timetable, can dance, jump, do yoga or whatsoever, anytime without being shy that my housemates would see mme doing stuff, can fart or burp as loud as I wanted or making whatever sound I wanted in the toilet, etc. Hahhaha!
But of course, there are some downfalls of living alone. Especially during the time of the month when my mood swing started and when I wasnt filled with Umsa stuff or assignments. . I would feel a sudden emo-ness, emptiness, loneliness, and all the -ness i could imagine.
Hmm.. I been cleaning and scrubbing the house few days before I checked out. And yesterday, I finally managed to empty the house, clean and shine. These were few shots taken before I handed the house key back to Alistair, the landlord who was sooo cute, understanding and considerate... hehe sempat lagi nak puji.
Yesterday was the last assignment submission. We also had to present our practical reports and findings. I cant really describe how I felt after submitting the last assignment and after our lengthy, super boring presentation finished. So relieved, free, carefree, yadaa yadaa yadaa. Ehem tho, of course I am aware of those two papers that I have in 2 weeks time. They are pretty tough papers. Bet I am gonna struggle to score for those papers. Would love to get an A for Educ paper. For Linguistic, B would be good enough. But, of course A is most appreciated.
We are almost there. It is almost the end of the chapter of my life as a student in Auckland. Yesterday, when Dzeti took our pictures signing on our very last assignment cover sheet, it struck me that this sem is almost done. And that before we even realise it, we are already running our hectic life back in Ipba. Hmmm... then I thought, well, this is life.
We went to Ayuthaya after submitting the assignment and had a big feast there. Ordered a lot. Sharing with loved ones almost bring the joy and memories of home back. Menu on the table yesterday: Hot sizzling chicken, seafood tomyam, fried chicken, stimmed fish, and chicken padprik (I think). Me and Hisyam ordered 2 plates of rice. Haha... I am so tamak, I know. Actually 1 is more than enough coz I was quite full eating the 1st plate. So tamak wanna eat 2 plates jugak.
Then, Min n pkah had to go to work. So, me, Dzeti n Hisyam strolled along K rd. I just couldnt resist the accessories in this 1 shop dnt know the name. But they were closing that time. I hate having to rush while shopping. Tak boleh fikir.. hellloooo~ So, I just grabbed this 1 very sweet ring. Thanks to my advisors: Dzeti (but yesterday, Hisyam was also promoted to become my fashion advisor tho according to Dzeti, his taste lain sikit haha). Whatever, they both voted for this ring...
I got home, checked my mails and facebook (checking my cafe and theme park actually). Then, I was so sleepy maybe because I didnt sleep last night finishing my assignments. So, I decided to sleep til midnight and do a massive cleaning to the house. But, I ended up waking up at 7am. Haha. Getting back my beauty sleep.
Today is a gud day. Open my eyes this morning, looked outside the window, I saw pretty, bright sunshine.. the cloud moving very fast, implies that it was windy outside. Good! Warm bright sunshine, with chill wind. I loike! Then, called him. This is the best part of the day. Starts the day with a sleepy voice of the loved one.
We are almost there. It is almost the end of the chapter of my life as a student in Auckland. Yesterday, when Dzeti took our pictures signing on our very last assignment cover sheet, it struck me that this sem is almost done. And that before we even realise it, we are already running our hectic life back in Ipba. Hmmm... then I thought, well, this is life.
We went to Ayuthaya after submitting the assignment and had a big feast there. Ordered a lot. Sharing with loved ones almost bring the joy and memories of home back. Menu on the table yesterday: Hot sizzling chicken, seafood tomyam, fried chicken, stimmed fish, and chicken padprik (I think). Me and Hisyam ordered 2 plates of rice. Haha... I am so tamak, I know. Actually 1 is more than enough coz I was quite full eating the 1st plate. So tamak wanna eat 2 plates jugak.
Then, Min n pkah had to go to work. So, me, Dzeti n Hisyam strolled along K rd. I just couldnt resist the accessories in this 1 shop dnt know the name. But they were closing that time. I hate having to rush while shopping. Tak boleh fikir.. hellloooo~ So, I just grabbed this 1 very sweet ring. Thanks to my advisors: Dzeti (but yesterday, Hisyam was also promoted to become my fashion advisor tho according to Dzeti, his taste lain sikit haha). Whatever, they both voted for this ring...
I got home, checked my mails and facebook (checking my cafe and theme park actually). Then, I was so sleepy maybe because I didnt sleep last night finishing my assignments. So, I decided to sleep til midnight and do a massive cleaning to the house. But, I ended up waking up at 7am. Haha. Getting back my beauty sleep.Today is a gud day. Open my eyes this morning, looked outside the window, I saw pretty, bright sunshine.. the cloud moving very fast, implies that it was windy outside. Good! Warm bright sunshine, with chill wind. I loike! Then, called him. This is the best part of the day. Starts the day with a sleepy voice of the loved one.
U re like chipsmore biscuits... Now I see u... Now I dont... You could be anywhere.. anytime.. ure always there at odd times. when I least expected you., then there you were.
Last night (it was morning for me, but night for you) chat, was one deep and special one after leaving me clueless for about a month or so. What is it about this 'thing' that we have? That makes me attach to you after letting myself hurt by u. But, yeah... I bought your excuses coz I have to be understanding and realistic... this relationship aint as simple as it might seem in the beginning. I am glad that u could understand that. And I am happy that you admit what u had done to my heart. It's good enough... for now.
Well, I am not an angel or a saint. To be honest, even now, I still wish that I could get someone better than you. So, pardon me if I moved on when i met someone better. Im not yours yet, you know... I am still as free as I could be. Your love is still not strong enough to convince and secure a place inside my heart. You hope that I wont lose my faith and hope in you... just so you know, I have been trying very hard to keep that faith and hope strong ever since we were together. And I am still trying.... This might sound so harsh but, that's the reality of life. What is most important now is that, u re very special in your own way to me. And I guess thats the 'thing' that make me stick to you hopefully forever... I foreshadow bumpy roads ahead of our journey. Wish we both will be stronger till that time so that we could face the obstacles together.
Last night (it was morning for me, but night for you) chat, was one deep and special one after leaving me clueless for about a month or so. What is it about this 'thing' that we have? That makes me attach to you after letting myself hurt by u. But, yeah... I bought your excuses coz I have to be understanding and realistic... this relationship aint as simple as it might seem in the beginning. I am glad that u could understand that. And I am happy that you admit what u had done to my heart. It's good enough... for now.
Well, I am not an angel or a saint. To be honest, even now, I still wish that I could get someone better than you. So, pardon me if I moved on when i met someone better. Im not yours yet, you know... I am still as free as I could be. Your love is still not strong enough to convince and secure a place inside my heart. You hope that I wont lose my faith and hope in you... just so you know, I have been trying very hard to keep that faith and hope strong ever since we were together. And I am still trying.... This might sound so harsh but, that's the reality of life. What is most important now is that, u re very special in your own way to me. And I guess thats the 'thing' that make me stick to you hopefully forever... I foreshadow bumpy roads ahead of our journey. Wish we both will be stronger till that time so that we could face the obstacles together.
This is the last week of lecture. LAST ok??!! This sem is one hectic, crazy, challenging, mind-boggling, patience testing sem. So much pressure and stress to cope. So many things to bear in mind. And now... we are at the edge of it. That's it? We are almost done for this sem? Time flies so fast... If only I could pause, rewind and edit the time frame and my life recording just like I edit my pictures and video clips.... hmmm...
What was I up to in these few last days of lecture week? Check these out...
We only had classes on Tuesday and Wednesday this sem. Tuesday: Housekeeping Meeting with Sheryll in the morning (which I skipped 80% of those meetings), Pro. Development at noon, and 2-hours lecture from 4 to 6pm. Such big gaps in between each classes. Thus, we ended up, picnic-ing at Albert Park next to the uni. It's Spring, Yo! Bright sunlight is always welcome. Been here for 2 years made me understand why omputeh ni sume suka sangat matahari.... the above picture is my favourite building. The one I mentioned before that changed colour every season. Awesome aint it? Now, it is all green. Sangat tantek.. I loike!!! Me, Dzeti, Pkah, Acap, Faris and Dyau were on our way to Queen St to get our $5 kebabs for lunch. Promo! $5 damn cheap!
I loike spring!!! The colours are just so breath taking. Taken in Albert Park. We finished our Pro Dev early that day. So, had about 3 hours gap before the next class.
Me and the girls were chilling out, gossipping, camwhoring...
Such a beatiful day to picnic despite of the scattered rain.
What was I up to in these few last days of lecture week? Check these out...
We only had classes on Tuesday and Wednesday this sem. Tuesday: Housekeeping Meeting with Sheryll in the morning (which I skipped 80% of those meetings), Pro. Development at noon, and 2-hours lecture from 4 to 6pm. Such big gaps in between each classes. Thus, we ended up, picnic-ing at Albert Park next to the uni. It's Spring, Yo! Bright sunlight is always welcome. Been here for 2 years made me understand why omputeh ni sume suka sangat matahari.... the above picture is my favourite building. The one I mentioned before that changed colour every season. Awesome aint it? Now, it is all green. Sangat tantek.. I loike!!! Me, Dzeti, Pkah, Acap, Faris and Dyau were on our way to Queen St to get our $5 kebabs for lunch. Promo! $5 damn cheap!
I loike spring!!! The colours are just so breath taking. Taken in Albert Park. We finished our Pro Dev early that day. So, had about 3 hours gap before the next class.
Me and the girls were chilling out, gossipping, camwhoring...
Such a beatiful day to picnic despite of the scattered rain.
Hehe... Da Sistas.. Same tak. Mata tu kan sama hehee...
Bunga2 yang sangat cantik...
~The End~
Pepatah melayu ada kata: "Yang patah tumbuh, Yang hilang berganti." Betul ke? Sahih ke pepatah ni? Kalau nak buat academic writing, lecturers selalu pesan: "You should not generalise something." Memangla betul, yang patah akan tumbuh semula. Tapi, adakah semua benda yang patah boleh tumbuh balik? Gelang aku patah, terus kene buang je.. Dahan pokok depan rumah aku masa kecik2 patah, tak tumbuh-tumbuh pun sampailah akhirnya pokok tu dah kene tebang pun sekarang. Barang2 aku yang hilang, sampai la ni.. banyak je yang tak ketemu semula. Dah nama pun hilang.. kalau jumpa, taklah dipanggil hilang.
Fine, aku faham pepatah tu sebenarnya nak tunjukkan yang tak semua musibah yang menimpa tu akan terus-terusan membawa bala. Setiap benda yang berlaku tu ada hikmahnya. Walaupun gelang aku patah dan tak boleh tumbuh balik, tapi, aku tetap dapat ganti gelang yang patah tu dengan yang baru. Barang2 yang hilang pun akhirnya, akan diganti dengan yang baru. Tapi, semestinyalah barang2 yang menjadi pengganti barang2 asal tu tak sama nilai dan rupanya dengan yang lama.
Kawan2 yang pergi, yang hilang dah tak dengar berita sampai sekarang, yang dah tak dapat nak jumpa lagi... Memangla kawan tu bukan seorang. "Berkawan biar beribu, berkasih biar satu..." Allan pernah cakap dekat aku something that goes along these lines, "You dont have to feel sad. Once you got home, you will meet all your friends and family, make new friends, and make new memories. Sooner or later, you will forget all the good memories you had back here in Auckland and you will leave the sadness you feel now before leaving us." ... Sungguh menyayat hati kata2 tu... Allan, Allan... such a wise man, I am lucky to get to know.
But then again, its true that I will meet more people, new people as this journey goes on. Yet, each individual that I met is unique in his/her own way. They left some remarkable marks and memories in my heart. Kawan2 tak boleh dijual beli macam kite beli, jual kawan2 kat dalam Facebook tu. Kawan2 tak boleh ditukar ganti sebab setiap seorang kawan tu berbeza. So, dalam kes ni, aku tak rasa yang patah boleh tumbuh lagi dan yang hilang akan berganti. Seorang kawan baik aku dah pergi buat selama-lamanya... walaupun aku ada kawan2 baik yang lain, tapi kawan2 baik yang ada ni bukanlah pengganti arwah beliau. Al-Fatihah buat arwah Nur Atiqah Rumain. Moga rohnya sentiasa aman dan dicucuri rahmatNya.
Point penting entry ni sebenarnya hanyalah nak emphasis on what I felt during and after Umsa Committee Appreciation Dinner tadi. So touched by Angie's notes and wishes. And, I didnt dare to read the notes and wishes left by everyone in Turkish Delight. Coz I was afraid that I would cry. haha.. Atie is a cry baby you know... "I know you dont know" (Faris, 200x). LOL! At times, I did reflect and ponder upon the journey that I took in my life. Sometimes I felt how unfair this life is. These 2 years of my life in Auckland will be ashes in few years time. Its as if I never been here. Some people who study in local unis, they could still show to their kids and grand children later on the uni where they graduated. For me, everything is merely based on my poor memory and moments caught in pictures. I might not be able to meet all the people I met and know here in NZ. These 2 years experience is like an Oxygen atom in water molecule. It is just one part of my life but, without these 2 precious years, I wont be who I am or what i will become. Like the water molecule, without the Oxygen atom, there wont be any water molecule to make up the H2O.
Fine, aku faham pepatah tu sebenarnya nak tunjukkan yang tak semua musibah yang menimpa tu akan terus-terusan membawa bala. Setiap benda yang berlaku tu ada hikmahnya. Walaupun gelang aku patah dan tak boleh tumbuh balik, tapi, aku tetap dapat ganti gelang yang patah tu dengan yang baru. Barang2 yang hilang pun akhirnya, akan diganti dengan yang baru. Tapi, semestinyalah barang2 yang menjadi pengganti barang2 asal tu tak sama nilai dan rupanya dengan yang lama.
Kawan2 yang pergi, yang hilang dah tak dengar berita sampai sekarang, yang dah tak dapat nak jumpa lagi... Memangla kawan tu bukan seorang. "Berkawan biar beribu, berkasih biar satu..." Allan pernah cakap dekat aku something that goes along these lines, "You dont have to feel sad. Once you got home, you will meet all your friends and family, make new friends, and make new memories. Sooner or later, you will forget all the good memories you had back here in Auckland and you will leave the sadness you feel now before leaving us." ... Sungguh menyayat hati kata2 tu... Allan, Allan... such a wise man, I am lucky to get to know.
But then again, its true that I will meet more people, new people as this journey goes on. Yet, each individual that I met is unique in his/her own way. They left some remarkable marks and memories in my heart. Kawan2 tak boleh dijual beli macam kite beli, jual kawan2 kat dalam Facebook tu. Kawan2 tak boleh ditukar ganti sebab setiap seorang kawan tu berbeza. So, dalam kes ni, aku tak rasa yang patah boleh tumbuh lagi dan yang hilang akan berganti. Seorang kawan baik aku dah pergi buat selama-lamanya... walaupun aku ada kawan2 baik yang lain, tapi kawan2 baik yang ada ni bukanlah pengganti arwah beliau. Al-Fatihah buat arwah Nur Atiqah Rumain. Moga rohnya sentiasa aman dan dicucuri rahmatNya.
Point penting entry ni sebenarnya hanyalah nak emphasis on what I felt during and after Umsa Committee Appreciation Dinner tadi. So touched by Angie's notes and wishes. And, I didnt dare to read the notes and wishes left by everyone in Turkish Delight. Coz I was afraid that I would cry. haha.. Atie is a cry baby you know... "I know you dont know" (Faris, 200x). LOL! At times, I did reflect and ponder upon the journey that I took in my life. Sometimes I felt how unfair this life is. These 2 years of my life in Auckland will be ashes in few years time. Its as if I never been here. Some people who study in local unis, they could still show to their kids and grand children later on the uni where they graduated. For me, everything is merely based on my poor memory and moments caught in pictures. I might not be able to meet all the people I met and know here in NZ. These 2 years experience is like an Oxygen atom in water molecule. It is just one part of my life but, without these 2 precious years, I wont be who I am or what i will become. Like the water molecule, without the Oxygen atom, there wont be any water molecule to make up the H2O.
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