Believe it or not... I studied while I was sleeping, in my dreams. Yes, I swear it's true.

Back in my high school, one incident that is still clear in my head now was during my preparation for SPM, 2 weeks before the first paper; Additional Mathematics. I always failed My Add Math paper for the whole 2 years, form 4 and 5. I didnt want to smudge my SPM result's slip with an "F" for Add Math. Thus, I spent the remaining 2 weeks (lambat betul dapat kesedaran nak study *sigh*) before Add Math paper, luckily Add Math was the first paper that year. I spent the 2 weeks doing at least... AT LEAST... 200 Add Math questions per day! Crazy, eh? Hahaha... I even practiced doing some of the Mathematical problems while I was sleeping. Sometimes I realised when it happened. You know when sometimes you were dreaming and in that dream, you actually realised that it's all a dream? That's what I meant. Sometimes I realised I was studying, doing Mathematics exercise, applying those Mathematical formula in my dream. But, sometimes, I only realised it when I woke up the next morning, reflecting what I dreamt about the night before. Honestly, what I dreamt wasnt merely a dream or random Mathematical stuff. I really felt tired the next morning. Mentally exhausted. In a way, it is good to be able to study even when your eyes closed. You could save some extra times especially when you're running out of time. On the other hand, you wont get enough rest.

Yesterday, I have been studying all day (of course with a list of off-tasking acts every now and then). I was studying for my EDUC 348 paper that is scheduled in exactly 1 week from now. Before I slept last night, I went through all the schemas in my head. Then, I realised, I missed to memorise one point in my note. So, I spent about 5 minutes memorising and understanding that particular point. Finished studying, I called Zainul, then, slept. In my sleep, I was dreaming... and this time I was aware that I was doing it again in my dream. Since I realised that my brain was ready for another studying-dream session, I forced my brain to revise all the points I have memorised since 2 days ago. That was awesome!!! Hahaha. Save my time to revise what I read and studied. Should do that more often.

To control your mind set...

When I was in high school, I loved attending those motivational camps. Coz I found those camps managed to boost my self-esteem and intrinsic motivation. Honestly! I learned a lot from those camps.

  • I learned that you learned best with naps in between every one hour or maybe every half-an-hour for certain people with shorter attention span. Nap= not more than 5 minutes sleep NOT those 1 or 2 hours of sleep! We practiced to set our mind to get into a deep nap, and wake up exactly 5 minutes after that. It worked and still works, man! It's all about your mental power. All we had to do was talk to your mind, inside your mind, saying "I will wake up in 5 minutes time" for several times in your head. You could do this mind setting to wake up early in the morning by saying a prayer to Allah, "Ya Allah, bangunkan lah aku, hidupkan lah aku pada pukul 4 pagi esok untuk beribadah kepadaMu, di jalan Mu. Amin." Honestly, I learned this in one of those motivational camps.
  • Another practice to set your mind is... take a bucket and put it somewhere on the floor, sit quite a distance from the basket, crumple a paper, look and FOCUS (this is important) at the middle, inner circle of the basket, and throw the crumpled paper into the basket. I did the same technique when playing darts, targeting on the bulls eye. It works!
  • Kad Matlamat: Maybe some of you heard about this before. Make a small, practical, easy-to-access, and viewable to your sights. Write your name, the date when you want the goal to be achieved, and the goal itself, of course. Below are 2 examples of the contents of my 2 kad matlamats heh..
Contoh 1

Name: Nur Izzati Hassan
Date: (tarikh result PMR keluar, tak ingat daa)

Alhamdulillah, saya telah berjaya lulus dengan cemerlang dalam PMR dengan mendapat 8A.

B.Melayu A
B. Inggeris A
Matematik A

(your signature here)

Contoh 2

(This example is a sample of a list of my future missions written when I was 11 years old. There were a few fill-in-the-blanks sentences I need to fill in the paper. One mission that I still remember is as below...)

Nama saya ialah ...........(my name lah duh~)...........
Sekarang saya berumur .....(time tu 11 tahun)..........
Dalam masa 10 tahun dari sekarang, saya sedang.....(aku tulis: melanjutkan pelajaran di salah sebuah universiti terkemuka di luar negara)....

[In the real missions paper, there are more sentences that I had to fill in. Alhamdulillah, Tuhan makbulkan. I cried while reading the missions paper when I found it last year, when I came home during summer break while cleaning my book shelves.... It's been exactly 10 years after the mission was written.]

  • If any of you watched the first or the second season of "Survivor", the winner said that when she registered her name for the game, before she received a phone call saying that her name was chosen to be the next survivor competitor, she made the same "kad matlamat" as the one I mentioned above. She pasted the card on her pc screen monitor since that was where she spent her time most. The card said, "I will be chosen to compete in the next Survivor, and won the Survivor $1 million.". And true enough, it worked for her.
  • Okay... that's all I can share about mind setting. There are myriads of ways to set your mind tho.. Hope these methods help.

Wish me luck for my final, folks... For my lil bro, Izzat, good luck for your SPM, I have faith in you and miss you so much. And for all my frenz sitting for their final now or soon, Good Luck, yo!
I am so angry, dissappointed, feel like throwing everything to the wall. But the thing is, I dont know how to put my feelings into words. I am a one-off person. Easily get mad, easily pissed off, easily flattered, but all those only happen for a short while. If I were given a pen and paper at the point of time when all those feelings occurred, I would guarantee I could write a good masterpiece of a blog entry.

Been holding back my tears for few days, weeks now. I know crying would at least ease this burden inside my heart. Finally, this morning, thanks to Pkah who randomly came across a sad love-story blog which put both of us in tears after reading the blog. I finally managed to force those tears running. I felt much better after crying. I was about to do something stupid because of the anger I have been holding back. Luckily, I got back to my feet after I calmed down.

But still, I wanna throw a tantrum. I want him to know that he has a share in "this". I am not alone. Aaaaa!!! Marahnye!!! Feel like screaming to the top of my lung. Tak faham, tak faham, tak faham!!!!!!
Been ignoring the alarming call for attention from my body, inside out.

My skin is getting more and more dry each day with the uncertain weather. Say Bye Bye to my moist, soft skin. It is too dry to an extent that I dont even dare looking at my legs and feet. I am too lazy to put on lotion everyday. I do put it on once a while but I guess that is not enough here. The weather is too dry for my Asian skin type.

Pimples, black and white heads break out. Very noticeable open pores, clogged pores. You name it. Urgh! Either I was too busy that I missed my weekly mask-day, or I was just too lazy and prefer to spend my spare time lying on bed rather than beautifying my skin. But, one good thing being in a dry country like NZ is that I dont have to worry about oily skin, the sweat underneath my make up, or open pores and melting make up that clog my pores. That is a super plus point, yeah! I love putting on make up here. I can walk, climb every hill around town all day long without worrying about my foundation or powder melting down. The most will be my lip balm dried out or the smudge on my eyes caused by my eye liner or eyeshadow.

Hair! Aaaarrgh!!! Totally ignoring my damaged hair. Very dry! I usually went to the hair saloon to get hair treatment at least twice a year, back in Malaysia. But, tho I was back in Malaysia last year, I just didnt have the time to treat my hair. So, up till now, it has been consecutively 2 years my hair without treatment. And being in a dry country is just making it worst. Very dry! *super sigh* I had to ask Intan to cut my waist-length hair few months ago just to control the damage at the edge of the hair. Gonna crash any saloon I could find once I reach Malaysia.

Those are just some major problems I am having currently. The list goes on and on. Would appreciate a mother-daughter bonding session with Ibu doing facial or spa together. Miss Ibu sooooo very much!

Sangat kecewa...


Sangat sayang...

Tapi kecewa, tapi sayang juga.

Kecewa dengan dia.

Sayang sama dia.

Sayang, sayang, ayang, yang.... Sayang ke?

Betul ke sayang? Sayang ke kat dia???

...... .. .. .... .. . . . . . .
...Study Mode...

tapi malas juge sebenarnya. Mood nak study ni on and off.
Tak sampai 2 minggu before my final exam and I only studied like 0.5% of everything!
Aaaaaaa!!! I think I can start panicking now.

...Check my pocket...

Duit.. mana duit?? !! Aik?! Baru je masuk allowance.
Mana entah duit2 ni hilang.. hmmm...
Duit dah bertukar jadi garments... *sigh*
Toloooong!!!! Saya mau balik rumah, nak ikat kaki tangan tak mau pergi shopping lagi.

Rindu Ibu Abah Mar Izzat Izzah.

MEstilah rindu Zainul juge. *wink2*
As I am writing this entry, I am no longer residing my home up in Level 5, the Cambridge. I am now staying with Min and Pikah. That house... or room.. or whatever it should be called, is a home to me here in Auckland. Reminiscing the moments I had in, with, and about the house....

To start off with, I never thought of staying alone before February this year. Until, I heard from Hijrah that Nisah and Ain (who supposedly be my housemates this year) already signed a contract to stay in The Railway Campus in a 2-bedroom apartment without me knowing it. I had no other options but to rent the house because there was no other choice for me. It was lucky enough for me to found the house on the net, lucky too that Dzeti offered her help to deal with the landlord. At that point, I thought living alone would be very unpleasant, lonely, empty, etc... It was true during the first few weeks living alone in that house. Nothing much to do. But, after getting use to it, I found that it wasnt that bad after all. Indeed, I loved staying alone. Besides, staying alone as a student is not much different than staying in a house with housematesss. Many of my friends who are flatting do not know the well being of their housemates. They dont even talk much with their housemates. So, what's the different? If I felt like meeting people and having a chit chat, I could just chill out with frens at their places.

My previous house, 505 cambridge was a great, comfy shelter to me. Despite of the over-budget rent that I had to bear every week, the house was the most important asset I need while studying abroad. I preferred to starve rather than being kicked out of the house. It was not the perfect house I always imagined to live in during my final year in Auckland, but, it was good enough to keep me company during my ups and downs here. It managed to fit more than 10 people at once. That was the place where Umsa people gathered to prepare for Umsa ball's deco stuff. Also, because I wal living alone, I could simply make my own decision on the house deco, toilet deco, the colour of pots, plates, etc. No one to interfere with my decision and deco taste. Haha.. Pink, red, white! I loike!!! No need to close the toilet door, dont have to keep the music player's volume down, can stack my pots and plates every now and then depending on MY busy timetable, can dance, jump, do yoga or whatsoever, anytime without being shy that my housemates would see mme doing stuff, can fart or burp as loud as I wanted or making whatever sound I wanted in the toilet, etc. Hahhaha!

But of course, there are some downfalls of living alone. Especially during the time of the month when my mood swing started and when I wasnt filled with Umsa stuff or assignments. . I would feel a sudden emo-ness, emptiness, loneliness, and all the -ness i could imagine.

Hmm.. I been cleaning and scrubbing the house few days before I checked out. And yesterday, I finally managed to empty the house, clean and shine. These were few shots taken before I handed the house key back to Alistair, the landlord who was sooo cute, understanding and considerate... hehe sempat lagi nak puji.