Dulu aku ada 2 nenek. Bulan Mei tahun ni, nenek kesayangan ku telah kembali ke Rahmatullah. Kini tinggallah nenekku yang sorang lagi ni. Umurnya dah 85tahun tapi masih gagah, dan takda pun sakit2. Semuanya hasil daripada diet sihatnya selama ini yang tak makan daging ayam dan daging. Hanya makan ikan dan banyak berulam je.

Nenek aku ni, dah hampir sepuluh tahun duduk dengan anak2nya. Dari satu rumah ke satu rumah. Bila sorang anak ni dapat bersabar dengan kerenahnya, si nenek ni pulak nak demand macam2. Rumah sempit lah, bosan tinggal kat kampung la (iolah... dari die kecik duduk bandar la katakan... ). Takpun, anak2nya dah tak mampu nak bersabar.

Sebelum2 ni, aku, adik beradikku dan ibu ku ingatkan anak2 nenek aku ni yang tak nak sabar dgn maknya (ada betulnya jugaklah sebenarnya), rupa2nya, nenek aku ni memang suka cari masalah. Sekarang, dia tinggal dengan kami. Pelik, bila dikenangkan. Dulu, she used to treat us very badly. Bad mouthing my mum to her in-laws and children, looking down at my mum and my siblings. Now, she has no choice sebab none of her kids sanggup nak jaga dia except my mum yang sangat baik hati ni.

Seminggu, dua tu tak nampak lagi belangnya. Dah lama2... hah amik ko! Baru berapa minggu duduk dengan kami, dah berjela2 umpat keji, fitnah yang ditabur. Kalau mengumpat tu masih boleh la ditahan dek telinga ni. At least, we can just jawab "uhhuh", "ye", "haah", etc. Tapi, die terlalu buruk sangka kat orang. Nampak orang India je, die akan kata "Hah, tu dorang nak buat apa tu? Entah2, nak.....". Nampak orang Cina je, "Ish, maktok tak suka orang cina ni. Tu mesti dorang nak ...." (Padahal, dia tu pun cina! Al-peliks!) Paling aku tak suka, dia bersyakwasangka kat adik aku pulak. Aku misplace RM200, pastu dari gaya dia, seolah2 dia menuding jari kat adik aku. Pastu kata adik aku yang baru 8 tahun tu tak guna, hitam and entah apa2. Padahal budak tu xda buat salah pun kat orang tua tu. Ish! Kalau ikutkan hati aku, nak aja aku hempuk2! Aku punya respect kat dia dah lama hilang. Atau mungkin juga, she never earned my respect! Hibanyalah adik aku tu. Tapi, according to my uncles and aunts, maktok aku tu memang ade problem dengan budak2. She is weird. She's been like that since she was young.

Pendengarannya dah mula hilang, penglihatan dah kabur, lidah sentiasa nak makanan masin, tawar katanya. Itu semua perkara biasa yang perlu bersabar bila jaga orang tua. Tapi, bila tang mulut macam tu, dengan dok mengungkit hal2 lama, salah silap anak2 dia yang lama2 beratus2 kali depan orang lain... kan tak elok. Anak2 dia tu kan Uncle n aunty aku gak. Ish...

Hah! Ni luahan perasaan aku buat masa ni. Well, at least, these are the things I want to complain at the moment. Will update later... no promise yeah..
I hereby declare myself as one of the worst bloggers in the universe. Fuuuh! Abandoning my blog as long as I could. Taking my sweet time updating this blog. Time passes by... People come and go... And it's almost new year. 2010.. is just around the corner. Christmas fell on the day when my whole neighbourhood went blackout for the whole day. Indeed, no current for almost 4 days! Crazy I tell you! And the most important thing is, I am now, back in Malaysia. And with only a month of holidays, I gotta go back to IPBA for my final year. *sigh*

My flight from Auckland touched down at around 8.30pm on the 3rd Dec. Ever since then, I only had 2 chances to went online. Now, I am so happy that I finally have a broadband. No more problem to keep myself update.

That bf of mine... hmm as usual. The same old matter. The same old style. Tired! Urgh! Im waiting.. Im waiting... Im waiting...
Believe it or not... I studied while I was sleeping, in my dreams. Yes, I swear it's true.

Back in my high school, one incident that is still clear in my head now was during my preparation for SPM, 2 weeks before the first paper; Additional Mathematics. I always failed My Add Math paper for the whole 2 years, form 4 and 5. I didnt want to smudge my SPM result's slip with an "F" for Add Math. Thus, I spent the remaining 2 weeks (lambat betul dapat kesedaran nak study *sigh*) before Add Math paper, luckily Add Math was the first paper that year. I spent the 2 weeks doing at least... AT LEAST... 200 Add Math questions per day! Crazy, eh? Hahaha... I even practiced doing some of the Mathematical problems while I was sleeping. Sometimes I realised when it happened. You know when sometimes you were dreaming and in that dream, you actually realised that it's all a dream? That's what I meant. Sometimes I realised I was studying, doing Mathematics exercise, applying those Mathematical formula in my dream. But, sometimes, I only realised it when I woke up the next morning, reflecting what I dreamt about the night before. Honestly, what I dreamt wasnt merely a dream or random Mathematical stuff. I really felt tired the next morning. Mentally exhausted. In a way, it is good to be able to study even when your eyes closed. You could save some extra times especially when you're running out of time. On the other hand, you wont get enough rest.

Yesterday, I have been studying all day (of course with a list of off-tasking acts every now and then). I was studying for my EDUC 348 paper that is scheduled in exactly 1 week from now. Before I slept last night, I went through all the schemas in my head. Then, I realised, I missed to memorise one point in my note. So, I spent about 5 minutes memorising and understanding that particular point. Finished studying, I called Zainul, then, slept. In my sleep, I was dreaming... and this time I was aware that I was doing it again in my dream. Since I realised that my brain was ready for another studying-dream session, I forced my brain to revise all the points I have memorised since 2 days ago. That was awesome!!! Hahaha. Save my time to revise what I read and studied. Should do that more often.

To control your mind set...

When I was in high school, I loved attending those motivational camps. Coz I found those camps managed to boost my self-esteem and intrinsic motivation. Honestly! I learned a lot from those camps.

  • I learned that you learned best with naps in between every one hour or maybe every half-an-hour for certain people with shorter attention span. Nap= not more than 5 minutes sleep NOT those 1 or 2 hours of sleep! We practiced to set our mind to get into a deep nap, and wake up exactly 5 minutes after that. It worked and still works, man! It's all about your mental power. All we had to do was talk to your mind, inside your mind, saying "I will wake up in 5 minutes time" for several times in your head. You could do this mind setting to wake up early in the morning by saying a prayer to Allah, "Ya Allah, bangunkan lah aku, hidupkan lah aku pada pukul 4 pagi esok untuk beribadah kepadaMu, di jalan Mu. Amin." Honestly, I learned this in one of those motivational camps.
  • Another practice to set your mind is... take a bucket and put it somewhere on the floor, sit quite a distance from the basket, crumple a paper, look and FOCUS (this is important) at the middle, inner circle of the basket, and throw the crumpled paper into the basket. I did the same technique when playing darts, targeting on the bulls eye. It works!
  • Kad Matlamat: Maybe some of you heard about this before. Make a small, practical, easy-to-access, and viewable to your sights. Write your name, the date when you want the goal to be achieved, and the goal itself, of course. Below are 2 examples of the contents of my 2 kad matlamats heh..
Contoh 1

Name: Nur Izzati Hassan
Date: (tarikh result PMR keluar, tak ingat daa)

Alhamdulillah, saya telah berjaya lulus dengan cemerlang dalam PMR dengan mendapat 8A.

B.Melayu A
B. Inggeris A
Matematik A
.....
...

(your signature here)

Contoh 2

(This example is a sample of a list of my future missions written when I was 11 years old. There were a few fill-in-the-blanks sentences I need to fill in the paper. One mission that I still remember is as below...)

Nama saya ialah ...........(my name lah duh~)...........
Sekarang saya berumur .....(time tu 11 tahun)..........
Dalam masa 10 tahun dari sekarang, saya sedang.....(aku tulis: melanjutkan pelajaran di salah sebuah universiti terkemuka di luar negara)....

[In the real missions paper, there are more sentences that I had to fill in. Alhamdulillah, Tuhan makbulkan. I cried while reading the missions paper when I found it last year, when I came home during summer break while cleaning my book shelves.... It's been exactly 10 years after the mission was written.]

  • If any of you watched the first or the second season of "Survivor", the winner said that when she registered her name for the game, before she received a phone call saying that her name was chosen to be the next survivor competitor, she made the same "kad matlamat" as the one I mentioned above. She pasted the card on her pc screen monitor since that was where she spent her time most. The card said, "I will be chosen to compete in the next Survivor, and won the Survivor $1 million.". And true enough, it worked for her.
  • Okay... that's all I can share about mind setting. There are myriads of ways to set your mind tho.. Hope these methods help.

Wish me luck for my final, folks... For my lil bro, Izzat, good luck for your SPM, I have faith in you and miss you so much. And for all my frenz sitting for their final now or soon, Good Luck, yo!
I am so angry, dissappointed, feel like throwing everything to the wall. But the thing is, I dont know how to put my feelings into words. I am a one-off person. Easily get mad, easily pissed off, easily flattered, but all those only happen for a short while. If I were given a pen and paper at the point of time when all those feelings occurred, I would guarantee I could write a good masterpiece of a blog entry.

Been holding back my tears for few days, weeks now. I know crying would at least ease this burden inside my heart. Finally, this morning, thanks to Pkah who randomly came across a sad love-story blog which put both of us in tears after reading the blog. I finally managed to force those tears running. I felt much better after crying. I was about to do something stupid because of the anger I have been holding back. Luckily, I got back to my feet after I calmed down.

But still, I wanna throw a tantrum. I want him to know that he has a share in "this". I am not alone. Aaaaa!!! Marahnye!!! Feel like screaming to the top of my lung. Tak faham, tak faham, tak faham!!!!!!
Been ignoring the alarming call for attention from my body, inside out.

My skin is getting more and more dry each day with the uncertain weather. Say Bye Bye to my moist, soft skin. It is too dry to an extent that I dont even dare looking at my legs and feet. I am too lazy to put on lotion everyday. I do put it on once a while but I guess that is not enough here. The weather is too dry for my Asian skin type.

Pimples, black and white heads break out. Very noticeable open pores, clogged pores. You name it. Urgh! Either I was too busy that I missed my weekly mask-day, or I was just too lazy and prefer to spend my spare time lying on bed rather than beautifying my skin. But, one good thing being in a dry country like NZ is that I dont have to worry about oily skin, the sweat underneath my make up, or open pores and melting make up that clog my pores. That is a super plus point, yeah! I love putting on make up here. I can walk, climb every hill around town all day long without worrying about my foundation or powder melting down. The most will be my lip balm dried out or the smudge on my eyes caused by my eye liner or eyeshadow.

Hair! Aaaarrgh!!! Totally ignoring my damaged hair. Very dry! I usually went to the hair saloon to get hair treatment at least twice a year, back in Malaysia. But, tho I was back in Malaysia last year, I just didnt have the time to treat my hair. So, up till now, it has been consecutively 2 years my hair without treatment. And being in a dry country is just making it worst. Very dry! *super sigh* I had to ask Intan to cut my waist-length hair few months ago just to control the damage at the edge of the hair. Gonna crash any saloon I could find once I reach Malaysia.

Those are just some major problems I am having currently. The list goes on and on. Would appreciate a mother-daughter bonding session with Ibu doing facial or spa together. Miss Ibu sooooo very much!
KeCeWa...

Sangat kecewa...

SaYanG...

Sangat sayang...

Tapi kecewa, tapi sayang juga.

Kecewa dengan dia.

Sayang sama dia.

Sayang, sayang, ayang, yang.... Sayang ke?

Betul ke sayang? Sayang ke kat dia???

.....
...... .. .. .... .. . . . . . .
...Study Mode...

tapi malas juge sebenarnya. Mood nak study ni on and off.
Tak sampai 2 minggu before my final exam and I only studied like 0.5% of everything!
Aaaaaaa!!! I think I can start panicking now.

...Check my pocket...

Duit.. mana duit?? !! Aik?! Baru je masuk allowance.
Mana entah duit2 ni hilang.. hmmm...
Duit dah bertukar jadi garments... *sigh*
Toloooong!!!! Saya mau balik rumah, nak ikat kaki tangan tak mau pergi shopping lagi.

Rindu Ibu Abah Mar Izzat Izzah.

MEstilah rindu Zainul juge. *wink2*
As I am writing this entry, I am no longer residing my home up in Level 5, the Cambridge. I am now staying with Min and Pikah. That house... or room.. or whatever it should be called, is a home to me here in Auckland. Reminiscing the moments I had in, with, and about the house....

To start off with, I never thought of staying alone before February this year. Until, I heard from Hijrah that Nisah and Ain (who supposedly be my housemates this year) already signed a contract to stay in The Railway Campus in a 2-bedroom apartment without me knowing it. I had no other options but to rent the house because there was no other choice for me. It was lucky enough for me to found the house on the net, lucky too that Dzeti offered her help to deal with the landlord. At that point, I thought living alone would be very unpleasant, lonely, empty, etc... It was true during the first few weeks living alone in that house. Nothing much to do. But, after getting use to it, I found that it wasnt that bad after all. Indeed, I loved staying alone. Besides, staying alone as a student is not much different than staying in a house with housematesss. Many of my friends who are flatting do not know the well being of their housemates. They dont even talk much with their housemates. So, what's the different? If I felt like meeting people and having a chit chat, I could just chill out with frens at their places.

My previous house, 505 cambridge was a great, comfy shelter to me. Despite of the over-budget rent that I had to bear every week, the house was the most important asset I need while studying abroad. I preferred to starve rather than being kicked out of the house. It was not the perfect house I always imagined to live in during my final year in Auckland, but, it was good enough to keep me company during my ups and downs here. It managed to fit more than 10 people at once. That was the place where Umsa people gathered to prepare for Umsa ball's deco stuff. Also, because I wal living alone, I could simply make my own decision on the house deco, toilet deco, the colour of pots, plates, etc. No one to interfere with my decision and deco taste. Haha.. Pink, red, white! I loike!!! No need to close the toilet door, dont have to keep the music player's volume down, can stack my pots and plates every now and then depending on MY busy timetable, can dance, jump, do yoga or whatsoever, anytime without being shy that my housemates would see mme doing stuff, can fart or burp as loud as I wanted or making whatever sound I wanted in the toilet, etc. Hahhaha!

But of course, there are some downfalls of living alone. Especially during the time of the month when my mood swing started and when I wasnt filled with Umsa stuff or assignments. . I would feel a sudden emo-ness, emptiness, loneliness, and all the -ness i could imagine.


Hmm.. I been cleaning and scrubbing the house few days before I checked out. And yesterday, I finally managed to empty the house, clean and shine. These were few shots taken before I handed the house key back to Alistair, the landlord who was sooo cute, understanding and considerate... hehe sempat lagi nak puji.

Yesterday was the last assignment submission. We also had to present our practical reports and findings. I cant really describe how I felt after submitting the last assignment and after our lengthy, super boring presentation finished. So relieved, free, carefree, yadaa yadaa yadaa. Ehem tho, of course I am aware of those two papers that I have in 2 weeks time. They are pretty tough papers. Bet I am gonna struggle to score for those papers. Would love to get an A for Educ paper. For Linguistic, B would be good enough. But, of course A is most appreciated.

We are almost there. It is almost the end of the chapter of my life as a student in Auckland. Yesterday, when Dzeti took our pictures signing on our very last assignment cover sheet, it struck me that this sem is almost done. And that before we even realise it, we are already running our hectic life back in Ipba. Hmmm... then I thought, well, this is life.

We went to Ayuthaya after submitting the assignment and had a big feast there. Ordered a lot. Sharing with loved ones almost bring the joy and memories of home back. Menu on the table yesterday: Hot sizzling chicken, seafood tomyam, fried chicken, stimmed fish, and chicken padprik (I think). Me and Hisyam ordered 2 plates of rice. Haha... I am so tamak, I know. Actually 1 is more than enough coz I was quite full eating the 1st plate. So tamak wanna eat 2 plates jugak.

Then, Min n pkah had to go to work. So, me, Dzeti n Hisyam strolled along K rd. I just couldnt resist the accessories in this 1 shop dnt know the name. But they were closing that time. I hate having to rush while shopping. Tak boleh fikir.. hellloooo~ So, I just grabbed this 1 very sweet ring. Thanks to my advisors: Dzeti (but yesterday, Hisyam was also promoted to become my fashion advisor tho according to Dzeti, his taste lain sikit haha). Whatever, they both voted for this ring...

I got home, checked my mails and facebook (checking my cafe and theme park actually). Then, I was so sleepy maybe because I didnt sleep last night finishing my assignments. So, I decided to sleep til midnight and do a massive cleaning to the house. But, I ended up waking up at 7am. Haha. Getting back my beauty sleep.

Today is a gud day. Open my eyes this morning, looked outside the window, I saw pretty, bright sunshine.. the cloud moving very fast, implies that it was windy outside. Good! Warm bright sunshine, with chill wind. I loike! Then, called him. This is the best part of the day. Starts the day with a sleepy voice of the loved one.
U re like chipsmore biscuits... Now I see u... Now I dont... You could be anywhere.. anytime.. ure always there at odd times. when I least expected you., then there you were.

Last night (it was morning for me, but night for you) chat, was one deep and special one after leaving me clueless for about a month or so. What is it about this 'thing' that we have? That makes me attach to you after letting myself hurt by u. But, yeah... I bought your excuses coz I have to be understanding and realistic... this relationship aint as simple as it might seem in the beginning. I am glad that u could understand that. And I am happy that you admit what u had done to my heart. It's good enough... for now.

Well, I am not an angel or a saint. To be honest, even now, I still wish that I could get someone better than you. So, pardon me if I moved on when i met someone better. Im not yours yet, you know... I am still as free as I could be. Your love is still not strong enough to convince and secure a place inside my heart. You hope that I wont lose my faith and hope in you... just so you know, I have been trying very hard to keep that faith and hope strong ever since we were together. And I am still trying.... This might sound so harsh but, that's the reality of life. What is most important now is that, u re very special in your own way to me. And I guess thats the 'thing' that make me stick to you hopefully forever... I foreshadow bumpy roads ahead of our journey. Wish we both will be stronger till that time so that we could face the obstacles together.
This is the last week of lecture. LAST ok??!! This sem is one hectic, crazy, challenging, mind-boggling, patience testing sem. So much pressure and stress to cope. So many things to bear in mind. And now... we are at the edge of it. That's it? We are almost done for this sem? Time flies so fast... If only I could pause, rewind and edit the time frame and my life recording just like I edit my pictures and video clips.... hmmm...

What was I up to in these few last days of lecture week? Check these out...


We only had classes on Tuesday and Wednesday this sem. Tuesday: Housekeeping Meeting with Sheryll in the morning (which I skipped 80% of those meetings), Pro. Development at noon, and 2-hours lecture from 4 to 6pm. Such big gaps in between each classes. Thus, we ended up, picnic-ing at Albert Park next to the uni. It's Spring, Yo! Bright sunlight is always welcome. Been here for 2 years made me understand why omputeh ni sume suka sangat matahari.... the above picture is my favourite building. The one I mentioned before that changed colour every season. Awesome aint it? Now, it is all green. Sangat tantek.. I loike!!! Me, Dzeti, Pkah, Acap, Faris and Dyau were on our way to Queen St to get our $5 kebabs for lunch. Promo! $5 damn cheap!


I loike spring!!! The colours are just so breath taking. Taken in Albert Park. We finished our Pro Dev early that day. So, had about 3 hours gap before the next class.

Me and the girls were chilling out, gossipping, camwhoring...

Such a beatiful day to picnic despite of the scattered rain.



Hehe... Da Sistas.. Same tak. Mata tu kan sama hehee...


Bunga2 yang sangat cantik...

~The End~
Pepatah melayu ada kata: "Yang patah tumbuh, Yang hilang berganti." Betul ke? Sahih ke pepatah ni? Kalau nak buat academic writing, lecturers selalu pesan: "You should not generalise something." Memangla betul, yang patah akan tumbuh semula. Tapi, adakah semua benda yang patah boleh tumbuh balik? Gelang aku patah, terus kene buang je.. Dahan pokok depan rumah aku masa kecik2 patah, tak tumbuh-tumbuh pun sampailah akhirnya pokok tu dah kene tebang pun sekarang. Barang2 aku yang hilang, sampai la ni.. banyak je yang tak ketemu semula. Dah nama pun hilang.. kalau jumpa, taklah dipanggil hilang.

Fine, aku faham pepatah tu sebenarnya nak tunjukkan yang tak semua musibah yang menimpa tu akan terus-terusan membawa bala. Setiap benda yang berlaku tu ada hikmahnya. Walaupun gelang aku patah dan tak boleh tumbuh balik, tapi, aku tetap dapat ganti gelang yang patah tu dengan yang baru. Barang2 yang hilang pun akhirnya, akan diganti dengan yang baru. Tapi, semestinyalah barang2 yang menjadi pengganti barang2 asal tu tak sama nilai dan rupanya dengan yang lama.

Kawan2 yang pergi, yang hilang dah tak dengar berita sampai sekarang, yang dah tak dapat nak jumpa lagi... Memangla kawan tu bukan seorang. "Berkawan biar beribu, berkasih biar satu..." Allan pernah cakap dekat aku something that goes along these lines, "You dont have to feel sad. Once you got home, you will meet all your friends and family, make new friends, and make new memories. Sooner or later, you will forget all the good memories you had back here in Auckland and you will leave the sadness you feel now before leaving us." ... Sungguh menyayat hati kata2 tu... Allan, Allan... such a wise man, I am lucky to get to know.

But then again, its true that I will meet more people, new people as this journey goes on. Yet, each individual that I met is unique in his/her own way. They left some remarkable marks and memories in my heart. Kawan2 tak boleh dijual beli macam kite beli, jual kawan2 kat dalam Facebook tu. Kawan2 tak boleh ditukar ganti sebab setiap seorang kawan tu berbeza. So, dalam kes ni, aku tak rasa yang patah boleh tumbuh lagi dan yang hilang akan berganti. Seorang kawan baik aku dah pergi buat selama-lamanya... walaupun aku ada kawan2 baik yang lain, tapi kawan2 baik yang ada ni bukanlah pengganti arwah beliau. Al-Fatihah buat arwah Nur Atiqah Rumain. Moga rohnya sentiasa aman dan dicucuri rahmatNya.

Point penting entry ni sebenarnya hanyalah nak emphasis on what I felt during and after Umsa Committee Appreciation Dinner tadi. So touched by Angie's notes and wishes. And, I didnt dare to read the notes and wishes left by everyone in Turkish Delight. Coz I was afraid that I would cry. haha.. Atie is a cry baby you know... "I know you dont know" (Faris, 200x). LOL! At times, I did reflect and ponder upon the journey that I took in my life. Sometimes I felt how unfair this life is. These 2 years of my life in Auckland will be ashes in few years time. Its as if I never been here. Some people who study in local unis, they could still show to their kids and grand children later on the uni where they graduated. For me, everything is merely based on my poor memory and moments caught in pictures. I might not be able to meet all the people I met and know here in NZ. These 2 years experience is like an Oxygen atom in water molecule. It is just one part of my life but, without these 2 precious years, I wont be who I am or what i will become. Like the water molecule, without the Oxygen atom, there wont be any water molecule to make up the H2O.

Tinggal satu saja esaimon yang perlu disubmit... tapi, kan ade 2 paper sem ni? Takpe... sekarangkan tengah cakap pasal esaimon... saya tetap happy!

Assignment Ling 307 dapat A-.... Alhamdulillah... (pelik betul. Dari zaman sekolah lagi. Bila aku seriously expect dapat teruk or fail, mesti dapat the other way round. Bila rasa boleh skor, mesti fail takpun dapat D) ... mestilah kena happy!

Aku dapat kamera pertama aku, kalau tak silap masa aku darjah 3. Abah belikan sebab aku lulus PTS. Beberapa tahun lepas tu, dalam form 2 kamera tu rosak sebab banyak kali terhentak. Sangat sedih. Selepas itu, tiada lagi kamera bagiku. Bukan sebab Abah tak mau beli, entahlah.. mungkin sebab aku sendiri tak pernah mintak. Lagipun, pada aku, buat apa nak banyak2 kamera. Ibu dah ada digi cam. Nak pakai, pinjam lah. Bila aku masuk kolej, ada banyak kali juga terniat nak beli kamera. Bukan tak mampu.. entahlah.. masih juge tak pasti kenapa aku masih tak beli2 kamera. Sebelum fly ke Auckland, lebih kurang 2 tahun yang lalu, memang dah nekad nak beli kamera sebab mestilah nak abadikan kenangan2 selama di perantauan... tapi, tak jugak beli.

Akhirnya, beberapa bulan sampai Auckland, aku beli digi cam online kat trademe. Beli $300, dah lah xde brand. Bila camera tu sampai, dicuba2, sungguhlah hampa. Bukanlah sebab camera tu rosak. Cuma, pada aku, dengan harga $300 yang aku beli tu, aku boleh dapat camera yg betul2 elok dengan kualiti yg baik. Flash camera tu, bunyinya sungguh lah clasic. Hahaha... Takpe2... sekarang kamera tu telah pun aku jual dengan harga $90. Bodoh juge rasanya. Halalkan je lah... pengajaran. Tak jadi camtu, semua benda kat internet tu aku nak borong!


Hari ni... walaupun aku tiada kamera canggih berlensa panjang (kalau boleh, lagi panjang lagi hebat... kalau boleh nak yang sedepa: merujuk pada dslr -lah.. jgn marah), dengan hanya berbekalkan hp nokia N70 aku yang suke hang macam siput sedut, yang suke2 hati die je nak receive text ke tak, yang text tak reti2 nak kuar ringtone, aku dapat juga mengabadikan sesuatu yang indah... tak perlu pakai lensa panjang2.. cukup dengan lensa semulajadi mata aku ni untuk jadi pengukur.. dah cukup.. tapi, semestinyalah tak boleh tandingi lensa orang yang sedepa panjang tu kan (yelaa akur la... akuila jugak kehebatan lensa panjang2 yang berat nak mampuih tu~).


Gambar-gambar di atas adalah hak cipta terpelihara dan terpulihara oleh saya sepenuhnya. Hehe atas usaha gigih menggunakan Nokia N70. Pokok tu adalah pokok feberet gua terletak dalam kawasan university aku, berhadapan dengan the Old Government House. Tapak tempat orang buat graduation every Autumn and Spring. Aku panggil pokok tu "The Wise Tree". Kenapa? Sebabnya, pokok tu dah berusia paling kurang lebih 500 tahun. Mana aku tahu? Tengoklah saiz batang pokok tu. Saiz batang pokoklah pengukur usia pokok. Usia University aku je dah 100 tahun kalau tak silap akulah. Mungkin lebih juge. Pokok tu dah lihat beratus-ratus generasi manusia datang dan pergi. Pokok tu dah saksikan beribu-ribu orang graduate kat University yg tersohor ni. Sebab tu aku namakn pokok tu "The Wise Tree".

I know.. I know.. suka-suka aku je nak namakan pokok. So what? It looks wise enough in my pictures.
Haiiiiii, blog!!! Ape khabar blog?? Saye rindu bangat sama kamu... ihik. Lama betul tak jenguk kamu... Kamu kelihatan makin pink sekarang. Bagus2... I loike!!!

*Gosh, Atie... (rolling eyes)*

Wassup with me?? Hmmm.. nothing....... as this dot dot dot continues.. I am thinking of excuses so that I could put the blame on it for making Atie not updating her blog. Let's see... where did we stop?? Yeah.. "penantian Syawal" that seemed tooooo long. Hehe... so many people been complaining to me lately; "Weh, ko ni.. tak abes abes penantian Syawal. Asal bukak je penantian Syawal. Syawal dah nak abes da pun.." Yelah2 saye tukar ler.

Let's first put the blame on Umsa final event and AGM, next was assignmentsss, financial crisis (which I myself cant see its relation with my outdated blog), games addiction and yess.. the best of all: LAZINESS STRUCK! =_="

Btw, I, hereby declare that I am no longer in Umsa committee what else to be an Umsa member. Relieved to let go of the burden yet, sad for not being around with such awesome people. Saya dah retire dah.. Outdated betul blog ni! LOL!

Okey... hmm lagi ape ek? Hah! Kami dah dapat kotak untuk ship our stuff back home. So, basically, barang-barang yang aku nak ship balik dah 80% packed. I bought 3 boxes but so far only 2 boxes je yang penuh. Another one tak buka pun lagi. Gonna stuff my shoes and handbags inside. Nothing fragile. So, I dont have to worry even if the box is not full.

Tinggal sebulan, satu minggu je lagi masa yang tinggal untuk aku abeskan kat City of Sails ni.

Ooooo.. we went sailing last time. It was a cohort trip with Sheryll and her daughter. It was super duper awesome aku cakap. Sooo noice. I loike! Haha. The weather memang terbaik! Picnic atas kapal layar... mestilah lebih terbaik. Plus, free puler because government ada allocate money for our cultural trip. So, since Auckland is a City of Sails, kenalah rasa sailing kat Auckland sebelum balik. It's very pricey.. If it wasnt for the allocated money, I dont think I will ever sail myself (unless of course kalau aku tiba2 terasa kaya).

Okeh, tak yah scroll2 agi. abes dah entry ni.
Kalau tahun lepas, Ramadhan dan Syawal aku sambut dengan sangat meriah, tahun ini bagaikan tiada ape yang menarik. Kedatangan Ramadhan dan Syawal seolah-olah menanti hari-hari selalu.

Oh, lupakan perihal Ramadhan ku diperantauan yang sangat hambar dan suram tahun ini, kerana topik itu sudah basi diolah pada post yang lepas. Post ini seharusnya tertumpu pada Syawal yang bakal menjelang Insyallah esok atau lusa.

Baju Raya...

Alhamdulillah... tak seperti tahun lepas beraya tanpa walau sepasang baju raya pun, tahun ini aku ada 3/4 pasang baju raya. Dan semestinya I'm lovin all of em. Ibu tersayang sanggup menjahitkan sepasang baju raya untuk aku dan menempah khas lagi 3 pasang daripada tailor kegemarannya.

1 Syawal...

Apa aku nak buat di pagi raya?? Ya Allah, sedihnya bila mengenangkan 1 Syawal aku tahun ini. Kalau 1 Syawal jatuh hari Ahad, daptlah aku join group yang nak solat eid di masjid mana ntah. Kalau tak, silap2 aku akan duduk rumah sorang2 mengadap laptop. Saddish.. I know. 3rd day show of BFM pulak jatuh pada hari Ahad. Memang bertambah2 syahdulah aku hari tu. Maka, akan berhingusanlah ketua kampng Eco Village kerana menangis menelepon kampung halaman terchenta.

Open House...

Buang tebiat ke ape? I cant even call my place a "house". It's too small to be called a house. But, it's definitely a "home" to me. Nak buat Open Room pun macam tak sanggup je. Bukan apa, aku seganlah. Rumah kecik, nak terima tetamu ramai2 pun, kesian mereka tak boleh nak duduk dengan selesa. Hajat hati nak menjamu kawan2 Umsa committee ku. Tapi, my financial status pun agak goyah. Harap2, Allah murahkan rezeki nak menjamu orang sebelum balik Malaysia ni.

Assignment...

Ooohhh, assignments yang berderet di hari raya. Sepatutnya, aku ade dateline on next monday which is d 2nd day of Syawal. Mujur juge lecturer tu consider kami yang nak beraya ni. Maka, dateline ditangguh ke minggu berikutnya. Terima kasih sgt2 la kat dia. Tapi, still, aku ada presentation next week. Haih! Inilah pengalaman beraya di tempat orang. Mahal okey, pengalaman ni. Kat sini mana ada public holidays for eid-ul-fitr. Dorang bukan tahu pun ape menatang tu.. huhu.

Oh, Allah... Aku mohon keampunan dan rahmatMu. Semoga berakhirnya Ramadhan kali ini memberi 1001 pengertian buatku. Aku mohon agar aku dapat bertemu dengan Ramadhan yang akan datang. Limpah dan murahkanlah rezeki yang halal padaku agar dapat ku menyambut Syawal kali ini bersama teman2 di perantauan ini, Ya Allah. Ameen.
I know I am so outdated to post my Umsa Ball's experience this late. What can I say? I can't help it. I am a busy woman, you know...

Basically, Umsa Ball was my first, my last, n would most probably be my one and only BALL in my life. Was held on the 30th August 2009 at the Crowne Plaza Hotel, Auckland CT. I presume that this post will be super extra lengthy because I have so much to share about this event. One of the most important events in my life.








Heaps of Preparation + Practices, Ups + Downs, Tears + Laughters
Few weeks before Ball
We had skit practices like weeks before the Umsa Ball. Been practicing the Jai Ho dance, and as I was the female lead, I had lotsa lines to memorise.. (the lines I had for Umsa Ball's skit outnumbered d lines I had for BFM)

I was in the Deco team. My other comrades are Allan, Vim, Azhan, Ipin, June and Dan. Initially, we were allocated $850 for d deco. But, since AUSA-Auck. Uni. Students' Assoc. approved the cultural grant, Angie d treasurer allowed us to use some extra hundreds.. hehe. We were very lucky coz we had more fundings this year which allow us to hire most of d deco items. More money always means less work. Haha! All in all, the deco team had spent more than $1,000 NZD to decorate several major spots like: i) Centrepiece; ii) Photospot; iii) Stage; iv) Ceiling; v) 2 random pillars.

Few weeks prior to the ball, Allan, Vim, Azhan and me went to Morningside by train to survey on the props that we wanted to hire. When we first got there, we were so "jakun". It's as if, we were in a grown-up's playground. We took photos with the interesting costumes and props there. It was awesome! Then, we had our dinner in Newmarket.. ape ntah nama restoran tu. One funny statement made by Allan when I asked him whether the meat in the restaurant Halal or not was, "Mestilah Halal.. sebab on the Restaurant signboard got a cartoon boy wearing songkok!" Hahaha.. That's so cute, Allan..

Few days after that, Naomi and I went to a clothes' shop somewhere which I couldnt remember the name of the place, and we bought all d clothes to make drapes for ceiling and photospot's deco. It cost us around $200 ++.

At first, we wanted to have a very simple stage deco since the stage is very small and also because most of the allocated funds went to other aspects of the ball room. So, I wanted to paint a simple backdrop on last year's black cloth just untuk cukupkan syarat decorating d stage. So, I tried painting on a black A4 paper randomly after coming back from school-practicum. So, this was the result of my random masterpiece...

Saturday
Then, after asking others' opinions, we agreed to make the bigger version of the painting on the black cloth. We ended up painting on the ground floor of The Cambridge-that is the apartment where I am staying currently. After painting almost half of the backdrop, the ex-committees of Umsa saw us from somewhere.. God knows how they found us. (Duh~ we'd been painting it rite in front of the display glass window of d Cambridge which allow passers-by see us) Then, they said that, if we paint on a black cloth, when the paints dry, everything will return back to black. In other words, our effort=useless=people wont see it. Oh God... Why do u have to send some messenger half way finishing d painting??? Why?? We agreed to take d risk anyway. But, seriously, it was soo messy. The paint didnt stick on the cloth. The cloth seemed to absorb (so as it seems to be) the paints and caused all d colour to stick to the floor underneath the cloth if u get what I mean. So, we put some cardboard under the cloth. Unfortunately, not working! By the time we finished painting d whole cloth, the whole floor changed colour. Tuan came out wit an idea to air d backdrop by lifting it up and 4 people hold every end of d backdrop. After lifting it up, we cracked up laugh to see a duplicate of d painting on the floor. Gosh... we were so worried that d colour couldnt be washed. So, while some of us were busy airing the backdrop, the rest were busy washing, wiping the floor. Now, we are the Cambdrige's cleaners pulak.

Above here is d picture before we started painting the backdrop. Surprisingly, my house could fit more than 10 people at once (packed like sardine la of course). Some were sewing d drapes, cutting wordings for backdrop, etc. Azhan was entertaining us all. Good time.. goooood old time... (macam lah dah lama sangat).

When d floor was clean, we spread aluminium foil on d floor rite in front of the mirror and they placed d backdrop on top of those aluminium foil. Why we did this? Again, we're taking the risk on believing that d backdrop wont be stolen or confiscate, or stain d floor. It was almost 4am when they all went home. I felt so guilty for using their time till that late. Plus, Tuan was also helping us and he was not even part of the deco team. I am really bad, man! The next morning, I had to go for d skit practice for the ball. It was really early in the morning like around 8/9am. I checked d backdrop. It was almost dry. I wanted to bring it up to my room. But, on a second thought, I was scared that I would damage d painting. So, I left it there.

I was supposed to collect d hired props, etc with Naomi and Tuan. So, half way practicing the skit, d 3 of us plus Angie n Dimi caw to pick up d van/truck. From the pick up place, Tuan became the official hamsap Umsa's truck driver. hahaha! He was acting very weirdly and his driving was like...errr... pumping our adrenaline and heart beats.. haha! He has got a good driving skill tho.. (puji lah sikit kan... orang dah tolong drive lol!) Btw, the 3 of us, sat together at the front seats. Hehe. Pretty funny, actually. And, duh~ of courselah Naomi had to sit in the middly. Takkan I yang besar ni nak duduk kat tengah in between Tuan and Naomi pulak. Haha! So, we went to the Firstscene to pick up d photospot's props n skit's prop + some costumes for d skit. Then, we sent all d props back to uni to be guarded by d rest of the committees, supposedly. Unfortunately, when we reached there, there were only Jun Yan and KS. Pity them had to sit on the Chaise Lounge chair with a big palm tree at the uni while being watched by passers-by. Hehe.. Sorry guys.. Tak boleh buat ape2...

We, then, went to North Shore to pick up the centrepieces from Greenhithe/Albany. Guess what? We got lost! Lost!!!!! Wasted petrol and time... Been going around the same place for 2,3 rounds. We thought the place was in the city like normal shop. Rupa2nya, it was actually in a neighbourhood. To be more precise, it was actually someone's house. But, the mak cik does have a beautiful house, there. So, jealous! Then, we went back to the city and transfered everything to the ballroom since we only have access to the room starting from 3pm, Saturday. Yeah, all these happened on the Saturday.(Such a long day, eh?) Then, I asked Tuan to wait for me outside my apartment coz I need to transfer all the deco stuff to the venue as well. That was when I realised that our backdrop was no longer there. I was so frustrated... I had the feeling that it was confiscate and not stolen. This is NZ maa... not Malaysia. You can leave your bag, phone and purse at oneside and when u turned back they were still there. But if u did the same thing to your car, I would say... d next thing u know is that u saw someone else driving uur car away. Haha! I wanted to call the building manager straight away. But, I knew if I did that there, I would definitely break down there and then. So, I saved his number and decided to call him later.

At the ballroom, after moving all our stuff there, I managed to find a secluded place to call the bldg manager. He then told me that the cleaner threw it away because we were not supposed to leave anything down there because d Cambridge is a private corporate building. WTF!!! And of course, I was scolded by the manager for leaving it there. I dont mind being scolded for that. But, why do you have to throw our masterpiece.... T_T It really broke my heart. I cried after making that call. But, managed to cover the frustration in front of evryone there. When I got home, I straight away checked in the rubbich bin for the backdrop. I seriously didnt know what I was doing back then. All I was thinking was that, we had put on so much effort and time on that thing, let it be a beatiful or terrible artwork, it should not end up in the bin! And, the ball is tomorrow, and we had no more cloth left to paint on a new backdrop.

I couldnt find d backdrop in d bins. I was sure the cleaner didnt throw it away because d cardboards we used to cover d floor for painting d night before were still in d bins. It meant if the cleaner were to throw it away, it shud be there in the bin. I gave up all hope by the thought of it. Then, I texted Tuan while crying. The worst feeling was the guilt that I had towards my team mates who spent their entire night doin the backdrop. I am such a loser..... I should have called the building manager that night. I did think of calling d manager b4 painting it but since it was quite late, and since we wont make such a mess, I thought it would be ok for us to do it there. Serve me right!!! After I managed to calm down, I managed to come out with a good solution. I was goin to buy a plain white King size bed spread and paint on it instead. It was almost night time by then and there was no chance for us to buy a new cloth for the backdrop. So, I planned to paint it all by myself at home. But, Tuan insisted on helping me that night. Seriously, I was feeling soooooooooo guilty to Tuan and KS coz they helped me out till 12/1am though they werent in the deco team. KS went home earlier than Tuan. And by the time Tuan went home, it was raining and Tuan had to walk home in rain. I am so bad.. I know... Thanks a lot guys... Credits to Tuan and KS, and my deco teams: Allan, Vim, Azhan, Ipin for helping out though u guys were very busy with assignments and all. U guys, rock!

Btw, as my house is really small, the 3 of us, Tuan, KS and me had to jump from one side to another to avoid stepping on the wet paint. The only place that we could sit was my bed. Luckily it is a queen bed. Huh~~

Sunday

We were supposed to meet up at the ball room at 9.30am. As the deco leader, I had to divide the jobs to everyone else. However, since Tuan need to pick up Jie Huei's camera equipment which were very heavy, and a mohjong table set as 1 of d props from Rayvin, we reached d hotel a bit late. By the time I reached there, I saw the centrepieces bowls were out of their boxes and were placed on the stage. OMG!!! I was on fire straightaway! Aku memang pantang giler kalau orang tak reti nak sabar tau. Its not like I dont know my job. Hey... I was late for a solid reason ok. Besides, it wont make a different if they all took out the bowls from the boxes without first knowing what and how d desings look like. PLus, there are other stuff they could do forst without waiting for me to be there like the chairs' covers which I had no clue about it coz i wasnt d one who hired em. There were around 100 chairs to be covered.


I am a very particular person when it comes to all these stuff. The bowls and d centrepiece shud be handled using gloves or anything to make sure no finger prints was left on the glasses. Plus, those items were signed under my name thus, they were my responsibility. It really broke my heart to see those bowls left in the middle of the stage with stuff hanging around them, people doing work here and there. If something fell on them and broke any of those..... =_='

The hotel did not have any tall ladder. How lame is that?? HUh? They only provide this thing called "Genie". It was a machine used to lift people to the ceiling with just a press of a button. Cool, eh? Yup, cool enough not untill, it stuck every few rounds using it. Then, the hotel never taught us how do we exactly recharge the genie. So, everytime we reported to the guy incharged on the genie about the genie problem, he would say, "oh, you need to recharge the genie for a while.." when we had actually recharged it for an hour (at least that was what we all convinced we were doing by plucking in the genie to the plug). After several malfunctions, he finally showed us d correct way to recharge d stupid genie. Bengong punya pak cik!!! It turned out we'd been using d low output socket. No wonderlah genie aku tu tak recharge2. The genie problem really affect our work. It delayed everything I'd planned. Because almost everything required the use of d genie. Kesian betul... genie yg banyak berjasa tu asik dipersalahkan... Below are d pictures of the ballroom pre-deco, while decorating, post-deco.



There were few break downs, yelling, shouting, throughout the preparation process. We were all stressed up by the time constraint, by the genie constraint, some annoying incidents, etc. Remember the super challenging backdrop, when we were there, we realised, that the backdrop was rather too small for the stage. Plus, we had to use genie to hang the backdrop to the ceiling, Thus, we had to move half of the pieces of the stage away. They were very heavy. Then, again, half way doing it, the genie stuck again. We had to wait for the genie to recharge in order to finish the stage backdrop. BEfore the genie managed to recharge, the band was there to practice and do sound check. They had to combine the stage back together. Then, Jun Yan told me that they would let the projector screen down most of the time, which means, there's no way to hang our backdrop there. WTH! THen, they should not ask for a backdrop lah in d 1st place.. Marah betul.. Dahlah banyak prob nk buat bckdrop tu. Then cannot hang pulak. Benci! We tried so many alternatives and came out with several options. Then, before I went home, I was damn pissed off already and had no idea where to hang the backdrop anywhere. Naomi suggested to hang behind some closed doors. THen, I asked Allan and who.. I couldnt remember, to figure out of a way to hang it. When I came back after getting eady for the ball, I saw that they managed to hang it very nicely behind the back door. I think Tuan helped them oso this time. I owe u big time, Tuan. This was d final touch of the backdrop.

UMSA Ball 2009

Sunday

Door opened at 6.30pm. The event started at approximately 7.30pm. The VIPs, from AirAsia, surprisingly arrived very early around 6something. When they arrived, I havent even finished touching up the VIP table. Lol! VIP yg super semangat. I sat in table 3 with Kauthar, Vim, KS, Tuan, Allan and his fren if I am not mistaken, David, Andrew and his gf, Florence. I was so hungry... Of courselah.. Kerje kuat, fasting some more... Giler lapar. Wanted to eat few rounds.. Haha.. Mimpilah! I couldnt even finish 1 round. Ciss! Rugi! But, the food was nice. Not to say giler sedap. Makanan Hotel... sendiri mau faham lah! Then, there was d skit yg full of spontaneity and humour. Me and Ipin actually opened the dance floor because, we actually did Waltz dance in the 1st scene of the skit.

During the band performance, those jokers on my table teased Tuan to dance with me. But, since Tuan was so shy and so ungentlemanly, he turned the table around and teased David to hv d dance instead. Actually, I was quite dissappointed with Tuan. He made me feel as if I was soooooooo ugly and did not deserve to dance wit him. Aiyah! Whateverlah... So, David asked me to dance wit him. I was quite shocked. Un prepared for that, honestly. But, to let down that invitation would be considered as rude. So, yeah, why not. So, we dance till d song finished. Hmm... I wanted to make some comment, but, it wont be nice to say it here. But, those who were there and quite close to me, I am sure I did tell u something about the dance that night. Hahaha! Shhhhh!!!! Everyone danced till d end of d ball. Giler penat wooo!!!

After that was cleaning up session... *sigh* Apparently, cleaning up and packing are faster than setting up. Lol! Obviously! In a nutshell, I learned a lot of thing throughout UMSA Ball '09, build up relationships with new people, strengthen the existent bondings, develop various aspects of my own personality. PLus, I actually wanted to share more but, I dont think I am open and brave enough to share such thing. All that I could say about this particular secret, is that.... "It's Like a Sapling..."

~THE END~

Why oh why do I have to take this paper- Linguistics 307: English Worldwide (at least that's what i think the name of the course)?

I had Lingo paper at 2pm today. Been struggling to cram everything into this little coconut up hear inside my head. Damn... if I could scan d electrons inside my brain, n d storage system up there, I guess, it would definitely look like what my mum would call as "sarang tikus" or "pusat pelupusan sampah"! Everything has gone haywire. Mixed up everything here and there. Well, of course, I managed to finish reading all the notes and quite a number of pages in the prescribed textbook... I would really love to use the word "study". But, I highly doubt that any learning ever took place throughout the reading process. Lol!

It was the worst feeling I have ever had prior to sitting for a test/exam. Very unprepared, and useless. The test was yet to start but, I already felt like I might screw that one up. *sigh* History has always been my weakest subject at school. Why do I have to take a history of ENGLISH pulak now??? Why???

Really hope, I wont flunk this course.
  1. Starts off as total strangers
  2. Became acquaintance
  3. Next is friendship
  4. We argue, fight, and tease each other
  5. I want to be there for u... always supporting u no matter what
  6. You hold my hands when others are not looking
  7. Then you touch my face
  8. There's a whisper in our hearts that only we could hear
  9. Start missing each other
  10. Then, it becomes a fully blossomed tree... hehehe

Is this how it normally grows?? Are there some particular stages that should be undergone in orders? What if the process stops at No.9 or earlier? What are the chances of moving to No.10?

Pejam celik, pejam celik, dah nak raya dah kita... Rasa macam baru je mula puasa dan Ramadhan sudah hampir meninggalkan kita. Ramadhan ku tahun ini agak hambar tak seperti tahun lalu. Mungkin kerana tahun ni aku tinggal seorang. Berbuka juga seorang diri di rumah. At least last year, masjid depan rumah. Setiap hari dapat buka free (tapi menu yang sama je lah hari2... tapi sedap wooo). Tahun ni aku kene menapak dalam 20min untuk ke masjid tu. Kalau naik bus memangla 50sen je tapi, tahun ni dorang buat asing. Bagi muslimah, mereka buat buka puasa dan solat terawih di Forte (bangunan apartment sebelah masjid). Aku personally lebih prefer kalau dorang buat kat masjid. Sebabnya, bila mereka buat di forte, ianya seolah2 tertutup bagi orang2 tertentu dan yg berkenaan sahaja. Lebih2 lagi, aku ade mendengar desas-desus daripada mereka2 yang pernah hadir berbuka di Forte yang mengatakan, pada awal Ramadhan, kaum2 muslimah di situ kumpul duit sesama mereka dan masak bersama2 untuk makanan berbuka puasa. Mereka hanya ambil makanan free dari masjid during weekends. Minggu2 seterusnya, barulah mereka ambil makanan free dari masjid. Itupun tak banyak mana. Jadi, mereka menggunakan duit yg mereka kumpul untuk tampung mknan berbuka. So, aku rasa tak sedaplah, kang tak pasal2 menepek muka kat situ datang makan suka2 tak bayar. Plus, aku tak tahu pasal buka puasa forte ni secara terperinci. Tak sedaplah babe, datang makan tak tahu dari mana punca duit tu... kene bayar atau tak... seganlaaaa....

First week of fasting, kalau tak silap aku, d whole first week aku lambat masak for break fast. Hari pertama jatuh pada hari Sabtu. Memangla weekend. Tapi, hari tu aku ada Umsa skit practice and meeting. Balik rumah dah lambat. Terkocoh-kacah solat Asar. Akhirnya, aku berbuka dgn 3 biji kurma dan air masak. Time tu buka dalam pukul 5 something. So, aku masak dalam pukul 6lbh camtu. Hari2 seterunya juge begitu. Umsa meetings and stuff. Hari Selasa dan Rabu, memang tak payah cakaplah...kelasku abes pukul 6ptg. Sah2lah kene buka dlm lecture hall. Ada satu hari tu, aku terlupe nak bwk kurma n air ke dlm lecture theater, and hari tu aku ade test yg agak tough juge soalan2nye. Maka, aku keluar test pukul 6ptg. Maka, aku berjalan pulang ke rumah dan berbuka setgh jam lewat. Haiii, melepas pahala sunnat buka awal..hehe.

Ada juge, hari2 tertentu bila kemalasan aku melanda dgn sgt kronik. Aku hanya berbuka dgn kurma, air dan buah shj. Takpun tapao makanan luar. But then, tak bolehlah nak tapao selalu. Aku sdg mengalami krisis kewangan juge skrg. Let's put the blame on the inflation and global economy crisis. Lol! In addition to all those above, puasa kali ni tak terasa sangat. Mungkin kerana aku dah memang terbiasa berlapar since the beginning of the year. So, puasa kali ni terasa seperti hari2 selalu, of course dispite of you feeling a lil more angelic than normal days... hahaha!

All in all, I would say Ramadhan kali ini agak hambar buat ku. Dan mungkin juga kerana itu, dan kerana kesibukan duniawi ku, kehangatan Syawal juge kurang kurasai. Bagaimanakah agaknya lebaran aku diperantauan tahun ini? Meriah? Itu aku kurang pasti. Yang pasti, aku tak mampu nak buat open house like last year. Firstly, because of my current financial status. Secondly because of the size of my house. Mungkin aku hanya akan melawat rumah kawan2 shj. Itupun jikalau ada kesempatan. Yang lebih penting sekali ialah... Besar kemunginan 1 Syawal jatuh on the same day as my 3rd day of BFM performance!!!! Wuaaaaa!!! I wanna go back home, this instant. T_T

P/s- at least setakat ni, aku dapat jugak merasa berbuka dgn kuih Malaysia buatan cik DZETI- kuih sagu yg sgt sedap. Tq Dzt... lap u muah2..

Please forgive my habit of mixing Malay and English in my posts... Title in Malay, the post's body in English or vice versa... what can I say? Welcome to my world! *wink*

One day (indeed, almost everyday), a girl named Alice called her so called boy friend at around 9pm. However, because their relationship is a LDR (long distance relationship or "Cinta antara Benua"), it was around 5pm for the boyfriend. Let's call the boy, Eric. So, yeah Eric picked up the phone and they talked for no longer than 2 mins, maybe. Eric asked Alice to call him back at around 1am, Eric's time. 1am??!!! Doesn't it mean 5am, Alice time??!! Yes! That's true. Eric knew this fact. But, he still tried to persuade Alice to call him at that time. Alice somehow bought Eric's sweet talk though she did feel a lil frustrated on Eric's inconsideration towards her.

That night, Alice was so tired and sleepy. She really wanted to go to bed. But, she knew if she were to sleep now, she would not wake up at 5am to call Eric. So, she decided to stay awake till 5am and called Eric. While she was waiting for the time to slowly pass by, she reflected how she was treated by Eric ever since she became Eric's gf. Eric is always a good, nice guy. But, he was so insensitive towards Alice. It seemed to her that Eric likes to take her for granted. She has always been the one to make the effort in their relationship. She hates waiting. But then, she really wanted to make this relationship works. Plus, they rarely had the chance to talk on the phone for more than 10mins without interference and distraction by his friends. So, she tried to be positive and ignored all the negative sensations she had all inside her.

It finally 5am! Yay!!! Alice was so excited to call Eric. Firstly, because they have not had a serious, lovey dovey conversation for quite some times. Secondly, because it also means that she could go to bed right after the call. She, dialled Eric's number and waited for him to pick it up. Once, twice....... the 27th time, and counting... Eric still had not picked up the phone. Alice's patience was being tested that night. She wanted to give up. But, on a second, third, fourth thoughts, after those hours that she had to stay up just to make that one call to Eric, and now, she wanted to give up just like that?? No way... She tried to comfort herself by saying that Eric might be in the toilet, or watching tv and left his phone in the room AS ALWAYS. She kept on trying and trying and trying, until finally... Eric picked it up! Wow! It was a miracle! He apologised and said that he was on the bike and now he was hanging out with his friend. At this point, Alice knew that that night would be just like any other night, when she would be neglected and hurt by Eric. But still, she tried to remain as positive as possible. She was trying to sound cool and happy even though she was very sleepy, frustrated and almost break down into tears.

Eric did not realise this, of course. He was so happy telling Alice about his day. He then asked Alice about Alice's day just to make things equal, I guess. Alice started to feel that there is still hope in their relationship. Alice was telling Eric about her day, only to be interrupted by a boisterous laughter, after telling 2 sentences of her story. It was very noisy and it was very hard for Alice to hear exactly what been said by whom. Then, she realised, that she had been talking alone to the phone because Eric was chatting with his friendssss right after he asked Alice about her day. Alice immediately went to silence and she tried to listen to the boy's conversation. But all that she could make sense was Eric's laughters followed by his friends'. After about 5mins Eric leaving Alice alone on the other side of the line, he returned back to the phone maybe when he realised that he was still on the phone with his girlfriend. He continued the conversation as if nothing happened, as if he has always been talking to Alice from the beginning. Alice really could not take it anymore. She would definitely going to break down if she remained on the phone. So, she told Eric that she wanted to go to bed as she was very tired. And, AS ALWAYS, that's how their phone call ended.

After that phone call, Alice came to her sense and put her pride, senses, and thoughts before her emotions. That was not the first or second time Eric that to her. She even told Eric what she felt everytime Eric did that to her. But, still the same things continued to happen. She knew that Eric loved her, but the love was not portrayed thru his actions. She sacrificed her time, energy, and of course, money for him. She was the one who made all the phone calls. She never demanded Eric to call her because she understood that they were both not working, and it was more expensive for Eric to call Alice. However, Eric should at least, texted Alice once a while. At least, once a week. It wasn't expensive at all to leave a simple text to Alice. Alice had been telling Eric the same thing and Eric's respond was always, "Okay, I will." and of course, no, he never leave a single text. He even requested Alice to call him very late at night without considering about Alice's condition, her sleep, her class the next day, etc though, he had been reminded by Alice about the time gap.

Not just that, Eric did not have internet at home. He had to surf the net in the nearby restaurant with free wifi. Thus, Alice and Eric never got the chance to chat/see each other thru video conference. It was just because Eric said he was too lazy to surf the net which left them with the only option to keep in touch thru Alice calling him. It was not cheap for Alice to call Eric, you know... Though, it was cheaper than Eric calling her, but still, it wasw still expensive. Alice decided not to call Eric anymore and instead, she just left an offline message to Eric, hoping that he would go online oneday, and read the message. Alice thought that, Eric would definitely try to contact her if he missed her sooner or later. But, all that she received was another offline message. Not a single text, still.


P/s- Apa yang Yuna dok nyanyi pasal "Cinta Sempurna" dalam lagu die tu??? Sempurnakah cinta ni?
Of laziness, indolence, negligence...

Oh God, I have been neglecting this blog for as long as I could remember.. Was planning to update my practicum experience every week, but it seemed only the first week of practicum was up (and that one could not even be categorised as an update because it was posted quite late too...lol!).

I wanted to blame my hectic life for causing me to totally ignoring my dear blog. When I said "ignore", I really meant it. I seriously have not opened my blog ever since my last post was published.

Yeah, so these are the ups and downs, bits and pieces of my life that you have been missing out:

  • -practicum every Thursdays for 5 weeks, following with 1 week-mon to fri (this 1 week burned 1 week of my mid term break, darn!!!)
  • -BFM practices... dancing, singing, acting every week -very taxing.
  • -Preparation for Umsa Ball which caused too many problems and issues... very irritating!
  • -Never ending assignments and tests being chucked in 2 weeks -like hell!
  • -The Umsa Ball itself -the hard work paid off! (This particular event/ bit of my life will be covered in detail under a post of its own coz it is too special to be ignored)
  • -BFM 1st full rehearsal 2 days ago -now everyone is counting the days to the real performance days...

The list above might not be able to successfully represent my packed, daily schedule, but they are actually enough to make me forgot to comb my hair before i dash out to meetings and practices, eating fruits and neglecting my proper meals because of the lack of time and energy to cook, mounting my laundries for 2 weeks till i had no more clothes to wear (this time I really can't blame my procrastination habit because doing laundry here requires me to be available at home for at least 3 hours which was impossible for the past few weeks), and the most unforgivable part was when I forgot the actual submission date for my assignment which nearly caused me a heart attack!

Week 2 Practicum
Onehunga High School
Bumi Auckland, Nz.

Reached school early around 8pm. Maybe because there was less traffic. Entered the same classes as last week but with slightly different experience this week. I swear I will never wear my kebaya nyonya to school anymore because it's easily crumpled. Being in school not more than an hour already made me look like I have been in the school for the whole day with an unironed top! Damn it! Stomach not feeling good today.

Nonnette's Esol Class:
The students getting more comfortable with me now I am in my 2nd week in their class (though it's actually the 2nd time), most of them acknowledged me as another teacher in the class by now. Nonnette had to work on some stuff outside the class, so I had to take over her class. Nothing much to do because they were having their writing assessment. So, I just assist them where possible. The assessment was for their NCEA and so I am not supposed to help them. I only helped with words/vocab and make sure the class is under control. This is the assessment that allows them to move on to level 2 NCEA English.

John's Esol Class:
I was welcomed with a bright smile and a great by Joo, standing at the door. I have remembered most of their names by now. This class is very special to me because I can feel greater attachment with them than other classes that I attended.

Some of these angelic, bright little faces:
  • Sultan
  • Dragon
  • Thomas
  • Masons
  • Joo
  • Htoi Auong
  • Joana
  • Onosai

Sultan: From Saudi Arabia, always trying to look cool. He has a good grasp of the contents taught but still lack of language and vocab.

Dragon: A new students from China. Can't really speak English. Don't even understand simples instructions which made him a very funnly little guy especially with his know-it-all face. By his look, John was always deceived to believe that he understood the lesson/instructions but, by the second he finished his instructions, Dragon would abruptly turn to his chinese frinds for the chinese translated version of the instructions. A very cute hair-cut too...

Thomas: A chinese boy from Malaysia! Haha.. kasi malu saje.. Always off-task, especially when he sat next to Dragon. These 2 should not sit together. A very cute, adorable, friendly boy. Liked to great me in Malay though I can say his Malay was quite rusty! Lol!

Masons: A quiet, chinese, exchange student. He is going back in 2 weeks time. Showed interest in learning the language.

Joo: A very cheerful, happy, energetic, enthusiastic, Chinese girl. Love to laugh and smile. Very friendly. Didnt hesitate to ask questions. Have full attention and participation in class activities.

Htoi Auong: A Vietnamese guy who used to live in Jln. Lok, Johore for 2 years. Hehe.. bangga aku! A very shy and quiet guy. Likes to smile and have the initiative to initiate conversation with me despite of the lack of knowledge in his side. John partnered me with him in one of the class activities today. He portrayed good grasp of the contents and vocabs being taught for the topic.

Joana: Too quiet. Still havent known her that much. She is pretty and tall. Sat alone at one side of the back of the class. She smiled at me this week unlike last week. A good progress, I thought. Didnt really participate in class's activities.

Onosai: A unique and interesting character we have here. He always had his mind somewhere else. Always portrayed something to differentiate him from the rest of the group. Though he wasnt always participate in the class activities, I could sense that he was actually seeking for attention from the teacher. The off-tasking was his way to rebel and gain attention. At some points last week, he would call John to see his work though he knew the answers for all the questions. Maybe he felt left behind because he was the only Pacific Islander in the class and the rest were Asians. He always sits at the very back of the class.

During one of the class activities, when John ask them to find their own partner for pair work, he voiced out without hesitation to John that he wanted me to be paired with him. And so, I moved from next to Htoi Auong at the front of the class, next to Onosai at the back of the class. It was a reading activity. So, I asked him to read and I listened. He could understand the article but his reading was rather poor. After finished reading it the second time, I asked him whether he wanted to go again. And he asked me whether I mind listening to him again. Of course, I dont mind, hun. So I just asked him again, "Wanna go again?" And I was so touched by his answer, "Yes, I want to learn more." By that, he meant he wanted to read again so that he could improve his rading skills. And this time he showed that he made some improvements on words that he mispronunced the first time around. He also asked about me wearing hijab. It was difficult to explain to him because of his low proficiency in English.

All in all, I felt more attachment with John's class maybe because the lesson was less serious and of students from lower year. I felt like being around Malaysian students in a Malaysian classroom when I was around them. Maybe it was because they were second language students just like Malaysian students.

Mark's Mainstream class: The first class was about dictions in poetry. It was a classroom discussion. So, I just sat at the back of the class throughout the whole lesson. Boring... But, if I were a student in his class, I would say I would enjoy being in his class learning poetry rather than learning Shakespears' poems back in Malaysia. Some serious attitude problems he had there in this class. I was so annoyed by the 1st group of talkative human machines in this class.Second class was again a silent reading session. This time the students were given 3 different short stories by Roald Dahl. Again, I didnt have a palce to sit because this class consisted of 32 students. So I had to stand for the whole lesson taking notes and reading the short stories at the back of the class.

Today's experience made me felt more ready to become a teacher. 50-50. I honestly prefer to teach in an ESol/ lower ability classes rather than high ability classes. I love the feeling of attachment with my students because I believe students can learn better when they have better bond with teachers. They will enjoy being the class, feel comfortable to ask questions and made errors along the learning process as they wont feel ashamed of those errors made. Students of these class also valued teacher highly compared to students of the advanced/good classes (personal experience as a student, facilitator, and teacher).

Interesting day. Got home, had my early dinner. Surf the net and slept. Awaken by a txt from shanis at 10pm. Jumped onto my chair and called Zainul. He was sleeping as well. Kuat tidur betul laki aku ni! Asik tidur je...

Week 1 Practicum
Onehunga High School
Bumi Auckland, Nz.

Last week, Thursday, was the first week of my practicum this sem. It was like my first day of school again. Felt like I was 7 again and entering the first day of school. Only this time, no abah or ibu to accompany and hold my hand into the class. Only 2 weird, not-so-helpful guys going to the practicum with me. Also, this time, I am entering the school as a student-teacher. Eat my lunch (or brunch) in the stuff room instead of hanging out with dear teenage friends in the canteen or school compounds. People call me Miss instead of just by names (except for some ESOL students, but I dont mind at all).

For the first 5 weeks of practicum, we went to school every Thursdays. And so, felt very reluctant to get ready and jumped into the shower as early as 6.30am. Experience my-forever-coolness of smoking breath! The school that I went to was 3 stages away from Auckland City which costed me around $8 return to and from school. The bus stop and the school was about 7-10mins walking distance. Met Michelle Heather, the person in charged on our practicum and received our practicum booklet consisting of our timetables, and details of the school. On Thurdays, I have to attend 1 Home period about 10 mins, and 2 ESOL classes and 2 mainstream classes. Felt rather awkward since it was my first day meeting the teachers and the students. Also because I am so used to being a student myself and now I have to switch on my teacher-head.

Nonnette's Esol class was quite boring because it was full of assessments. Can't put the blame on her coz now is the 2nd half of the year and it's time for assessments. So, I was just sitting silently in her class, and came out with questions by the end of that period.

John's Esol class was more interesting than Nonnette's class because he was teaching a lower level of Esol class. Most of the students in this class could not even write a proper essay, speak proper English yet, and have limited range of vocabulary. John is a very friendly, energetic, and warmth hearted teacher which made me feel very comfortable being in his class. Very funny, full of sarcasm in his words (unfortunately, most of his students could not get most of his sarcasm anyway XD), and a very experienced teacher as well. He introduced me to the class, made me remember some of the students names, and tried to include me in his lesson which in a way helped me bond with the students.

Mark's English class is a mainstream class which means that English is either the students' first language (L1) or the have high proficiency level of English. I have 2 classes with him. I don't really like his 1st class because I think the students are quite snobbish and have a very high disrespect of him though, they undoubtedly portrayed a very high level of intelligence and are very smart. There are 3 extreme groups in this class: those who are very super duper talkative, non-stop talking machines, those who are very silent, passive, but always kept their head into the lesson and have the knowledge, those who are very silent, off-tasking 24/7, and never care to participate in the class activities either because of the lack of knowledge or felt left behind. I think the existance of the 1st group brings lots of impact to the lesson of this class because they are the ones who received most attention from Mark, overruled the class activities, and the most destractive members of the class. They made the most movements, have the loudest voice, made most comments, and the most rude and snob out of all. They were having literature lesson and was doing activities about Shakespears' romantic and love poems. I would say honestly that their tasks were quite hard even for me, and Mark integrated really high critical thinking skills in his lessons. Brilliant for higher level students with higher ability level.

Reached home around half past 4 that evening. Make myself a dinner, went online for a while before taking my not-so-nap for about 4 hours. Woke up in the middle of the night and went online again, doing some stuff till quite late and continue sleeping.

A day in a student-teacher's practicum life!

Kalau korang ikuti blog aku sedari awal, mungkin korang ingat yang aku pernah menulis dengan sangat puitis tentang perasaan aku pada seorang insan ni, "Kisah Helang dan Pipit". Aku tak sedar yang aku menyimpan perasaan pada insan ni buat beberapa tahun walaupun belajar dalam kelas yang sama. Bila aku sedar akan kewujudan perasaan tu, aku akhirnya meluahkan perasaan tu pada dia. Dan, guess what... aku ditolak. T_T sedey jugaklah rasa masa tu. Tapi, kami masih berkawan macam biasa sampai sekarang. Mungkin sebab cara dia tolak aku dengan cara yang sangat terhormat dan dengan baik, maka kami tak ada masalah untuk terus jadi kawan.

Selepas 2tahun berlalu, aku seriously tak pasti whether aku masih ade hati pada dia atau tak. Tapi, satu benda yang pasti, setiap kali dia tegur aku kat skype, atau terserempak dengan die, hati aku pasti berbunga-bunga dan nervous yang maha hebat. Tahun ni, kami dah jarang chatting dan berbual di telefon. Aku andaikan aku dah bersedia untuk move on. Lebih2 lagi, apabila aku dah ada cinta hati yang baru, si dia yang jauh di mata... Tiba2 hari ini, hati aku bagai disentap bila terlihat status skype dia yang ada memberi hint yang dia dah berpunya. Lebih mengejutkan lagi, bila buat pertama kalinya, dia meletakkan gambar perempuan di profile skype-nya. Rasa macam hati ni remuk, berkecai2.

Masalah besar ni! Tak mungkin aku masih ada hati pada dia. Seorang yang takkan mungkin aku miliki. Dan lebih menyakitkan lagi adalah bila aku sedar akan hakikat tu. Apakah aku benar2 sayangkan zainul? Dan adakah dia benar2 cintakan aku? Atau kami hanya menjadikan each other sebagai sandaran untuk mengisi kekosongan hati? Masih ada lagi kah saki baki perasaan aku pada "dia"? Jahatkah aku kalau aku katakan, setelah aku berada dalam relationship dengan zainul for a while, aku rasa macam menyesal menerima cinta zainul? Adakah menerima zainul satu keputusan yang betul? Ada ketikanya aku rasa seperti perasaan aku pada zainul bukanlah cinta tapi sekadar menjadikan peneman aku dikala sunyi.. Atau adakah itu hanyalah sebahagian daripada mainan hati dan semata-mata perasaan ku sahaja?

Wajarkah aku untuk masih menyimpan perasaan aku pada "dia"?



In this world, when we think people around us are all grown up and matured enough to be understanding and tolerance, there are people who grew up not in accordance to the natural human developmental stages. It's as if their mental processes do not change and develop from a toddler's cognitive processes.

I haven't write/talk bad about other people for quite sometimes, now. Not that everyone around me is angelic but, their misbehaviours or intolerance didn't exceed my level of patience. Not to the extent that could drive me into writing such negative commentaries about them unlike this one particular individual, that I had been trying to tolerate and trying to create a stronger bond with for quite sometimes. Ever since we got to know each other, she always seemed to have somethings against me. At first, I thought it was just my pessimism, but as time goes by, I realised that there are some parts of me that she just couldnt agree with. So, yeah, fair enough. You can't expect everyone to like you. So, I take it possitively and try to make friend with her as close as possible. Bearing in mind, reminding myself that this friendship might need more time to strengthen.

However, these few weeks had tested my patience towards her. Now, I have come to a point that I just couldn't stand her comments and lame jokes anymore. I was so pissed off to know that she gave a totally unacceptable, lame, idiotic excuses to refuse a job/responsibility for an upcoming big event. And in return, I was the one who being appointed to take over her responsibility. Though, taking the responsibility was not the major problem I have against her, I just couldn't accept her lame excuse to get away from the job. I would be soo happy to state everything clearly as clear as crystal in this post, but i know that many people out there including friends of friends of friends are reading my blog. So, just to be sensitive about any possible outcomes of my commentary about her here, I will just try not to be too clear on every details.

She refused the responsibility given to her because of some ethical and religious issues about accepting the task. When at the same time, she said yes to the same task but of a lesser level of responsibility and importance which totally doesn't make any sense to her excuses at all! Because her lame excuses also apply to us, her other Muslims friends whom accepting the same task as her without much excuses and complaints. Lame, lame LAME!!!!

To make things worst, today, she made a very weird, impolite, statement straight to my face! It was when I voiced out my idea on going for an audition for solo performance on an upcoming event. I already had the idea even before I was given the responsibility. When one of our friends said that he wants to perform in the upcoming event, she asked me whether I still wanted to do a solo performance that night. When my response was positive, she said something like;
"Wah! Tak cukup famous ke dengan responsibility yang dorg bagi tu??" That comment was followed by an annoying giggle by her. I wasn't sure whether she was trying to make a lame, totally-unfunny joke or she was being sarcastic there. But, whatever it was, it really made me sick! And she added something like "Takpelah, you ade great voice, can play musical instrument, unlike I." Who in the first place caused me to get that responsibility in replacing that intolerance someone?! YOU! Who is that someone? YOU! Dahlah latihan selalu tak datang... Bengang betul orang macam ni.

Huh! Puas hati aku dapat hembur semua straight from my heart. I don't really like to smear my sweet, happy blog with hatred and painful remarks about someone. But, it does feel good to be able to do that once in a while. Only when I can't hold it much longer and when I have no one to complain to. To you, if you ever read this post of mine, and if you think that it is you and somehow feel offended about what i wrote here, don't you ever mention it in front of me. Because I dont give a damn about it! This is a medium for me to blurt out my inner thoughts and feelings about my surrounding. You should feel honoured to be mentioned and to have a remark in my writing piece.



Last Friday, Umsa organised a Dessert Nite at the Knights in Stamford Plaza Hotel. 71 people including the committees attended the event. It was again, a social-officers event. So happy to see satisfaction on everyone's face that night. It was full of awesomeness. The food, place, people, environment. All in all, I would say I was very happy with the flow of the event. It was a very good bargain. $10 for a Dessert Buffet in a hotel! Where can you get such price?? Normal price is $16, okay.



Those who want to complain, shut up, you! Eat my shoes! Not easy to plan on an event while you're being quarantine and had to work on stuff at home. With that much dessert, in such an elegant venue, with such a cheap price, if you got anything to complain on, I will make sure you get one big, nice slap from me, personally! No offence, people. But, if you're offended, do u think I care?? It's just, I was so annoyed with some people, who had so many "cekadak", and simply give out bad comments when they didnt even attend those events! And sometimes, people didnt think before they made any comment. Think about the price, and other factors. If you paid for less than $15 or $20 for an event which the main focus was food, then, dont expect to have a grand ball room or in other word, dont put high expectation on it. You get what you paid for! And for you, who didnt even attend the event(s), dont make judgemental or negative comments based on people's talk.

The Dessert Nite started at 7.45pm and went on up to 10.30pm. But some of us including me, we hang out for a while, chit chatting, making lame jokes, and teasing each others (very Malaysian style, ala2 melepak kat kedai mamak!). We, then, walked down to the harbour. Walking in a very super duper slow pace. We were very hyper, like drunk people maybe because of sugar rush. Excessive consumption of sugar.

Snapped some random pictures... See those 2 jokers?? My friends are weird! I know... Hahaha! But, those are some of the faces that I am gonna miss so much after I left Auckland.. T_T

I got home around half past 12 that night. Really tired. Doze off...