Pepatah melayu ada kata: "Yang patah tumbuh, Yang hilang berganti." Betul ke? Sahih ke pepatah ni? Kalau nak buat academic writing, lecturers selalu pesan: "You should not generalise something." Memangla betul, yang patah akan tumbuh semula. Tapi, adakah semua benda yang patah boleh tumbuh balik? Gelang aku patah, terus kene buang je.. Dahan pokok depan rumah aku masa kecik2 patah, tak tumbuh-tumbuh pun sampailah akhirnya pokok tu dah kene tebang pun sekarang. Barang2 aku yang hilang, sampai la ni.. banyak je yang tak ketemu semula. Dah nama pun hilang.. kalau jumpa, taklah dipanggil hilang.

Fine, aku faham pepatah tu sebenarnya nak tunjukkan yang tak semua musibah yang menimpa tu akan terus-terusan membawa bala. Setiap benda yang berlaku tu ada hikmahnya. Walaupun gelang aku patah dan tak boleh tumbuh balik, tapi, aku tetap dapat ganti gelang yang patah tu dengan yang baru. Barang2 yang hilang pun akhirnya, akan diganti dengan yang baru. Tapi, semestinyalah barang2 yang menjadi pengganti barang2 asal tu tak sama nilai dan rupanya dengan yang lama.

Kawan2 yang pergi, yang hilang dah tak dengar berita sampai sekarang, yang dah tak dapat nak jumpa lagi... Memangla kawan tu bukan seorang. "Berkawan biar beribu, berkasih biar satu..." Allan pernah cakap dekat aku something that goes along these lines, "You dont have to feel sad. Once you got home, you will meet all your friends and family, make new friends, and make new memories. Sooner or later, you will forget all the good memories you had back here in Auckland and you will leave the sadness you feel now before leaving us." ... Sungguh menyayat hati kata2 tu... Allan, Allan... such a wise man, I am lucky to get to know.

But then again, its true that I will meet more people, new people as this journey goes on. Yet, each individual that I met is unique in his/her own way. They left some remarkable marks and memories in my heart. Kawan2 tak boleh dijual beli macam kite beli, jual kawan2 kat dalam Facebook tu. Kawan2 tak boleh ditukar ganti sebab setiap seorang kawan tu berbeza. So, dalam kes ni, aku tak rasa yang patah boleh tumbuh lagi dan yang hilang akan berganti. Seorang kawan baik aku dah pergi buat selama-lamanya... walaupun aku ada kawan2 baik yang lain, tapi kawan2 baik yang ada ni bukanlah pengganti arwah beliau. Al-Fatihah buat arwah Nur Atiqah Rumain. Moga rohnya sentiasa aman dan dicucuri rahmatNya.

Point penting entry ni sebenarnya hanyalah nak emphasis on what I felt during and after Umsa Committee Appreciation Dinner tadi. So touched by Angie's notes and wishes. And, I didnt dare to read the notes and wishes left by everyone in Turkish Delight. Coz I was afraid that I would cry. haha.. Atie is a cry baby you know... "I know you dont know" (Faris, 200x). LOL! At times, I did reflect and ponder upon the journey that I took in my life. Sometimes I felt how unfair this life is. These 2 years of my life in Auckland will be ashes in few years time. Its as if I never been here. Some people who study in local unis, they could still show to their kids and grand children later on the uni where they graduated. For me, everything is merely based on my poor memory and moments caught in pictures. I might not be able to meet all the people I met and know here in NZ. These 2 years experience is like an Oxygen atom in water molecule. It is just one part of my life but, without these 2 precious years, I wont be who I am or what i will become. Like the water molecule, without the Oxygen atom, there wont be any water molecule to make up the H2O.

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