Yesterday, I received feedback about my teaching from my cooperating teacher. So below are the positive and negative comments I received from him:

Negative points:

He said that I sometimes lost my words in the middle of my instructions. And there were also times that I used the unprecise/incorrect words to describe or explain something. Okay, I admit these. Someitmes, I had so many things in mind that in the middle of giving instructions, I forgot what I wanted to say. I also admit that there were times when I just could not find the right words in this brain of mind which therefore leads to me choosing any words closest to the right ones.

Positive Points:

He said, when a teacher managed to blend in with the students and bring big influences to them, "the teacher's words are like God's words". And he said, he was impressed by how I managed to influence those kids in 1L. His words really made my day! I did noticed the changes in some of my 1L students but, according to him, "No. You're wrong! Not some! You have got most of them by now. I just do not know how you did it or what have you done to your students. But, from what I see, you don't have problems handling those kids."

Alhamdulillah. Maybe what I did was just praying. And Allah had granted my prayers. (cracking a super big smile in front of my laptop right now). These few days, I was imagining my days after I finish my practicum. I am sure going to miss my students a lot!

By the way, I only have one more observation by my supervisor which was scheduled to be this coming Monday. I might be observed by Sharon Bakar as well. Just might. I hope everything goes well.

Some people just don't know how to appreciate an honest advice. This is true. Once upon a time... they might tell you this, "Friend, if I ever did anything wrong,please let me know. I don't mind. I don't like people talk bad about me behind my back. If you want to cricise or advice me on anything, you are most welcome, friend." But, not everyone mean what they said. So, I am telling this so that you won't have to go through  the humiliation you may feel advising this kind of people.

I saw a few people looking at her. Every stare they gave ended with them staring at her shoes. She was walking with her body slightly bent forward. Maybe because the shoes were too high. Just maybe. For whatever reason it was, it doesn't look pleasant. So, as a friend, I stood next to her and whispered to her with an honest intention to advice her so that she could try to walk straight. Plus, it would make her look tall and elegant. But, guess what? I guess, she didn't need my advice after all. And my intention to saveher from shame or at least people's bad mouths was wrong. She straight away answered my advice with a : "Takpelaaa!" Hmm, fine!  Go ahead! After this, sampai mati pun aku tak kuasa nak tolong jaga maruah ko ke, naj jaga muka ko ke, selamatkn ko dari umpat keji orang ke... Lagi pun ko bukannya kisah. "Takpelaa" kan. Though I know that she might be one of those people who just could not care less about what people say about her. Well, of course she would disagree with me on this. WTF!
This morning, at the junction outside IPBA, the one after the hockey stadium, I hit a motorcycle. I honestly didnt see the bike. Not at all. All I saw were two cars heading to our direction but they were quite farfrom us. So, I slowly cross the main road. Luckily, I wasn't speeding at the junction. As my car was crossing the main road, Kak Mar said, "Ati, baik2 motor!" But, her voice wasnt raised that high which made me thought that the bike was still far away from us coz I didnt see any bike just now. (Plus, my friends have this habit of screaming whenever there are other vehicles nearby though, I know that we are still in a safe distance from those vehicles.) However, Kak Mard yelled again. And this time, her voice was raised to an alarming rate. Haha! So, it means: Danger, Yo! Tak faham bahasa?!! I abruptly stopped the car and the next thing I knew was, there was a bike right in front of my car.

This time, I saw the bike. And I knew that at that point, if I were to speed, we would still not going to make it. So, I stopped the car in the middle of the road. Yes, right in the middle, crossing the road. And the bike... he was okay. Thank God!When I stopped, the bike swerved slightly to his right which caused him to hit my bonet. I think he could actually avoid my car but, I think he was just as shock as me. My car reg num flew few meters away and there were some scratches at the bonet. I am not sure how did the scratches got there. Because his bike seemed okay, except that his left leg might hurt because of the hit. I just pray that he's okay.

So, yeah, that was about it. I still cant believe myself for being that careless. How can I not see the bike?! I mean, seriously, how?! But, to be honest, before I crossed the road this morning, while waiting to cross the road, I had this instinct saying that, "What if I cant see a car or bike coming because of the sign board in the middle of the road divider that always covers my sight? What if one day, I could not see a bike moving towards my car because the bike is within the blind spot of my car (Gen2 has bigger blind spots than any other cars of its type, it has front and back blind spots, the front one was caused by the extra wide windscreen's frame and the extra aerodynamic shape of the front of the car)? Then, the next thing I knew, "Bum!" there goes my instinct. But, looking at the bright side, the man that I hit was a very kind man. He accepted my apology and decided not to take any action on me. So, yup, he was a super nice guy. May God bless him and hope he has a nice day today despite of him being hit by me, of course. And, maybe that's the way Allah wanted to remind me to be more careful next time.

Despite of that morning incident, I really enjoyed today because today is Friday! It means, I can sleep super late (that's what I'm doing now), or dont have to sleep at all not until the sun rises, do movie marathon, etc. And tonight, I chose to clean my room. It was so messy, and untidy. Even I cant bear with it anymore. Actually, I had been wanting to clean my room since few weeks ago. But, I found that there are other important things to be done first. So, as I am writing this post, I am actually procrastinating from having my shower after the cleaning session. I presume, I would wake up super late, like noon, maybe, then, procrastinate again, then, God knows when I will start planning my lesson for next week. Gosh! I like entering my classes. But, I really hate the planning part. It was so taxing. And the worst part about next week is, I think Ng would want to finish my Phase 2 observations plus, Sharon might be entering my class as well! How interesting is that?! I really hope that Ms Ng would observe my 2y classes for the last 2 observations. Please do not enter my 1L anymore. I am so tired planning for that class. And the kids, are just so unpredictable. Oh dear Allah, please grant my wish.
As much as I would love to write about something other than education, I just can't. My life, now, revolves around school, school, and school. Talking about school, today, we have a meeting regarding the upcoming Hari Anugerah Ko-ko or whatever. Right now, I really wish that this stuff room would be more like the stuff room in Auckland's schools. They had sofas where we can sleep on anytime we're free, toaster, pantry, microwave, fridge with plenty of fresh milk. OMG!!!! I really cannot stand this sleepiness. Brrrrr! My eyes are half close now.

All I could think of now is food, drinksss, and holidaysss. I wanna go back for raya. Oh, dera God.. Please let our school some extra raya hols. 2 years not being able to celebrate Ramadhan n Eid with my family, I was expecting this year to be a good one. Not realising that My hol would only be till the 3rd day of eid. Wat the heck?! Like hell yeah. Im f-ing serious, yo! Ok, I know I am crapping here. It's only because I have nothing better to do in this stuff room and Im damn sleepy.

So, what do I wanna have for break fast? Where to break fast? I would love to attend another Dessert Nite like the one I had in Auckland. Nyum2! Oi, Ati! Behave! (Alia, 2010). Okay, now, I am so happy. Wanna know why? HAahahaha... Our PK1- Mrs. Keong just told me that the four of us, trainee teachers do not have to stay back after school for the stuff meeting. Walla! Oooolalaa!
I made an e-book for my 1L.
The title was: The Hungry Pocoyo.
You might be wondering why on earth doI have to write about food?
Well, it was because we were doing a health topic about healthy food and balanced diet.
Hahaha! Look who's talking... I don't practice what I preached.

So, was the lesson a success? Hmm... partially. Boleh tak partially?! Boleh je. It's my class maa.
It was a double period lesson. So, yeah, the students did pay attention, and interested about the e-book during the first period. But, mind you, being interested about the book does not necessarily means that they would read the story. Some of them just couldnt careless. We had a choral reading together during the first period. But, when we entered the second period, I just could not control them anymore. I am starting to loise my temper. They had loosen the screw for the past few weeks.
It's interesting how a simple topic and a simple activity could do wonders in your class.

Topic: A Lifelong Journey: Long, healthy life thru exercises.
Skill: Speaking
Proficiency: very low.

Let them name some sports, and instilled some moral values about healthy living.
They wrote their names on blank papers to be pasted in the bar chart on the board (which took them like ages to write their OWN names).

Each one of them had to stand in front of the class and tell his/her name and his/her favourite sports.

Surprisingly, they enjoyed the lesson. *sigh*

I still cannot understand how their minds work and what interest them. They seemed lost in their own world in most of my lessons. To get their attention and interest to learn is very challenging indeed. I almost give up by now. But, I do like those kids tho they could be very annoying sometimes.
Entering Phase 2: Practicum. Time to be more serious about practicum. Because phase 2 is an evaluation phase. I can't fail my practicum. At this point, bullshit to dreaming of getting Cemerlang for practicum. All I wanna do now is to teach and have fun with my kids at school. I want them to enjoy my lessons, to learn something from my class, to love my English class, to change their negative perceptions of English lessons, and to make them love English as much as I do. Though, I know it would also mean giving them false hope... cause I think they all realise that all the "learning English is fun" would come to an end once i finishes my practicum in that school and when they get back their former teacher.

So tis Saturday, my school has replacement class. *sigh* Luckily I will only be teaching 2Y double periods. But, the not-so-lucky part is that I might be observed by my cooperating teacher tis Sat. Damn! Hope he wont cancel it tis time. I m still struggling wit my 1L. I pray that I would not lose my patience with them.

Okay, till here. Goin to update my practicum portfolio (which I found a burden to me-not enough with the necesssary lesson plans, they add tis unnecessary portfolio which is a pain in the ass for us!), and prepare my lesson plans for tis Sat and next week.
4 weeks seemed like 4 months.
True enough. True, true, and so true.

As much as I hate Ipba, I cant believe I am looking forward for this 1 week de-briefing session. It's not like I hate the kids, or the school... I think what I was trying to avoid the most were the ever lasting lesson planning and materials production, the stressful observations, the trying-so-hard-to-be-friendly-and-satisfy-everyone sessions, and all those staybacks, meetings and extra school sessions. School means no life to me.

Talking about my observation: Last Friday, i was supposed to be observed one final time for my 1st phase by my cooperating teacher, but because of some incidents, he could not observe me when I had prepared my lesson till 3am! See, hoe depressing and frustrating was that?!

School = No Life!

Slept around 1-4am almost every night. Went to school around 6.50am everyday. Came back around 3pm or later everyday except on Fridays. Got home, too tired to do anything even to mark my students' test papers (I tried once, and I accidentally scribbled on their papers coz i was too sleepy -_-"). Prepared materials for the upcoming lessons which took ages to finish.

So, when can I enjoy my life? I tried to watch Inception 3times, now. And, to my dissappointment, all tickets sold out! Damn! No more hanging out for hours in malls, had movies marathon late at night, stay up to play computer games at night, play new songs on my guitar for hours, etc.

Not to mention about all the money spent for this practicum and my beloved students. T_T
Now, I can consider myself as nearly-broke! Honestly, man! With around 4 more months to go, and almost more than half of my allowance gone, how am i going to survive? And that's not including y car petrol.... Oh, god! I need a super rich and super loving husband right now. Dear students, please pray that for this teacher of yours. Huhu! Nescaya, I'll shower you all with tonnes of rewards. Hehehe!