One foot in School, Another stucks in Uni

Week 2 Practicum
Onehunga High School
Bumi Auckland, Nz.

Reached school early around 8pm. Maybe because there was less traffic. Entered the same classes as last week but with slightly different experience this week. I swear I will never wear my kebaya nyonya to school anymore because it's easily crumpled. Being in school not more than an hour already made me look like I have been in the school for the whole day with an unironed top! Damn it! Stomach not feeling good today.

Nonnette's Esol Class:
The students getting more comfortable with me now I am in my 2nd week in their class (though it's actually the 2nd time), most of them acknowledged me as another teacher in the class by now. Nonnette had to work on some stuff outside the class, so I had to take over her class. Nothing much to do because they were having their writing assessment. So, I just assist them where possible. The assessment was for their NCEA and so I am not supposed to help them. I only helped with words/vocab and make sure the class is under control. This is the assessment that allows them to move on to level 2 NCEA English.

John's Esol Class:
I was welcomed with a bright smile and a great by Joo, standing at the door. I have remembered most of their names by now. This class is very special to me because I can feel greater attachment with them than other classes that I attended.

Some of these angelic, bright little faces:

• Sultan
• Dragon
• Thomas
• Masons
• Joo
• Htoi Auong
• Joana
• Onosai

Sultan: From Saudi Arabia, always trying to look cool. He has a good grasp of the contents taught but still lack of language and vocab.

Dragon: A new students from China. Can't really speak English. Don't even understand simples instructions which made him a very funnly little guy especially with his know-it-all face. By his look, John was always deceived to believe that he understood the lesson/instructions but, by the second he finished his instructions, Dragon would abruptly turn to his chinese frinds for the chinese translated version of the instructions. A very cute hair-cut too...

Thomas: A chinese boy from Malaysia! Haha.. kasi malu saje.. Always off-task, especially when he sat next to Dragon. These 2 should not sit together. A very cute, adorable, friendly boy. Liked to great me in Malay though I can say his Malay was quite rusty! Lol!

Masons: A quiet, chinese, exchange student. He is going back in 2 weeks time. Showed interest in learning the language.

Joo: A very cheerful, happy, energetic, enthusiastic, Chinese girl. Love to laugh and smile. Very friendly. Didnt hesitate to ask questions. Have full attention and participation in class activities.

Htoi Auong: A Vietnamese guy who used to live in Jln. Lok, Johore for 2 years. Hehe.. bangga aku! A very shy and quiet guy. Likes to smile and have the initiative to initiate conversation with me despite of the lack of knowledge in his side. John partnered me with him in one of the class activities today. He portrayed good grasp of the contents and vocabs being taught for the topic.

Joana: Too quiet. Still havent known her that much. She is pretty and tall. Sat alone at one side of the back of the class. She smiled at me this week unlike last week. A good progress, I thought. Didnt really participate in class's activities.

Onosai: A unique and interesting character we have here. He always had his mind somewhere else. Always portrayed something to differentiate him from the rest of the group. Though he wasnt always participate in the class activities, I could sense that he was actually seeking for attention from the teacher. The off-tasking was his way to rebel and gain attention. At some points last week, he would call John to see his work though he knew the answers for all the questions. Maybe he felt left behind because he was the only Pacific Islander in the class and the rest were Asians. He always sits at the very back of the class.

During one of the class activities, when John ask them to find their own partner for pair work, he voiced out without hesitation to John that he wanted me to be paired with him. And so, I moved from next to Htoi Auong at the front of the class, next to Onosai at the back of the class. It was a reading activity. So, I asked him to read and I listened. He could understand the article but his reading was rather poor. After finished reading it the second time, I asked him whether he wanted to go again. And he asked me whether I mind listening to him again. Of course, I dont mind, hun. So I just asked him again, "Wanna go again?" And I was so touched by his answer, "Yes, I want to learn more." By that, he meant he wanted to read again so that he could improve his rading skills. And this time he showed that he made some improvements on words that he mispronunced the first time around. He also asked about me wearing hijab. It was difficult to explain to him because of his low proficiency in English.

All in all, I felt more attachment with John's class maybe because the lesson was less serious and of students from lower year. I felt like being around Malaysian students in a Malaysian classroom when I was around them. Maybe it was because they were second language students just like Malaysian students.

Mark's Mainstream class: The first class was about dictions in poetry. It was a classroom discussion. So, I just sat at the back of the class throughout the whole lesson. Boring... But, if I were a student in his class, I would say I would enjoy being in his class learning poetry rather than learning Shakespears' poems back in Malaysia. Some serious attitude problems he had there in this class. I was so annoyed by the 1st group of talkative human machines in this class.Second class was again a silent reading session. This time the students were given 3 different short stories by Roald Dahl. Again, I didnt have a palce to sit because this class consisted of 32 students. So I had to stand for the whole lesson taking notes and reading the short stories at the back of the class.

Today's experience made me felt more ready to become a teacher. 50-50. I honestly prefer to teach in an ESol/ lower ability classes rather than high ability classes. I love the feeling of attachment with my students because I believe students can learn better when they have better bond with teachers. They will enjoy being the class, feel comfortable to ask questions and made errors along the learning process as they wont feel ashamed of those errors made. Students of these class also valued teacher highly compared to students of the advanced/good classes (personal experience as a student, facilitator, and teacher).

Interesting day. Got home, had my early dinner. Surf the net and slept. Awaken by a txt from shanis at 10pm. Jumped onto my chair and called Zainul. He was sleeping as well. Kuat tidur betul laki aku ni! Asik tidur je...

First Day of school, Again...

Week 1 Practicum
Onehunga High School
Bumi Auckland, Nz.

Last week, Thursday, was the first week of my practicum this sem. It was like my first day of school again. Felt like I was 7 again and entering the first day of school. Only this time, no abah or ibu to accompany and hold my hand into the class. Only 2 weird, not-so-helpful guys going to the practicum with me. Also, this time, I am entering the school as a student-teacher. Eat my lunch (or brunch) in the stuff room instead of hanging out with dear teenage friends in the canteen or school compounds. People call me Miss instead of just by names (except for some ESOL students, but I dont mind at all).

For the first 5 weeks of practicum, we went to school every Thursdays. And so, felt very reluctant to get ready and jumped into the shower as early as 6.30am. Experience my-forever-coolness of smoking breath! The school that I went to was 3 stages away from Auckland City which costed me around $8 return to and from school. The bus stop and the school was about 7-10mins walking distance. Met Michelle Heather, the person in charged on our practicum and received our practicum booklet consisting of our timetables, and details of the school. On Thurdays, I have to attend 1 Home period about 10 mins, and 2 ESOL classes and 2 mainstream classes. Felt rather awkward since it was my first day meeting the teachers and the students. Also because I am so used to being a student myself and now I have to switch on my teacher-head.

Nonnette's Esol class was quite boring because it was full of assessments. Can't put the blame on her coz now is the 2nd half of the year and it's time for assessments. So, I was just sitting silently in her class, and came out with questions by the end of that period.

John's Esol class was more interesting than Nonnette's class because he was teaching a lower level of Esol class. Most of the students in this class could not even write a proper essay, speak proper English yet, and have limited range of vocabulary. John is a very friendly, energetic, and warmth hearted teacher which made me feel very comfortable being in his class. Very funny, full of sarcasm in his words (unfortunately, most of his students could not get most of his sarcasm anyway XD), and a very experienced teacher as well. He introduced me to the class, made me remember some of the students names, and tried to include me in his lesson which in a way helped me bond with the students.

Mark's English class is a mainstream class which means that English is either the students' first language (L1) or the have high proficiency level of English. I have 2 classes with him. I don't really like his 1st class because I think the students are quite snobbish and have a very high disrespect of him though, they undoubtedly portrayed a very high level of intelligence and are very smart. There are 3 extreme groups in this class: those who are very super duper talkative, non-stop talking machines, those who are very silent, passive, but always kept their head into the lesson and have the knowledge, those who are very silent, off-tasking 24/7, and never care to participate in the class activities either because of the lack of knowledge or felt left behind. I think the existance of the 1st group brings lots of impact to the lesson of this class because they are the ones who received most attention from Mark, overruled the class activities, and the most destractive members of the class. They made the most movements, have the loudest voice, made most comments, and the most rude and snob out of all. They were having literature lesson and was doing activities about Shakespears' romantic and love poems. I would say honestly that their tasks were quite hard even for me, and Mark integrated really high critical thinking skills in his lessons. Brilliant for higher level students with higher ability level.

Reached home around half past 4 that evening. Make myself a dinner, went online for a while before taking my not-so-nap for about 4 hours. Woke up in the middle of the night and went online again, doing some stuff till quite late and continue sleeping.

A day in a student-teacher's practicum life!

Cemburukah Aku?

Kalau korang ikuti blog aku sedari awal, mungkin korang ingat yang aku pernah menulis dengan sangat puitis tentang perasaan aku pada seorang insan ni, "Kisah Helang dan Pipit". Aku tak sedar yang aku menyimpan perasaan pada insan ni buat beberapa tahun walaupun belajar dalam kelas yang sama. Bila aku sedar akan kewujudan perasaan tu, aku akhirnya meluahkan perasaan tu pada dia. Dan, guess what... aku ditolak. T_T sedey jugaklah rasa masa tu. Tapi, kami masih berkawan macam biasa sampai sekarang. Mungkin sebab cara dia tolak aku dengan cara yang sangat terhormat dan dengan baik, maka kami tak ada masalah untuk terus jadi kawan.

Selepas 2tahun berlalu, aku seriously tak pasti whether aku masih ade hati pada dia atau tak. Tapi, satu benda yang pasti, setiap kali dia tegur aku kat skype, atau terserempak dengan die, hati aku pasti berbunga-bunga dan nervous yang maha hebat. Tahun ni, kami dah jarang chatting dan berbual di telefon. Aku andaikan aku dah bersedia untuk move on. Lebih2 lagi, apabila aku dah ada cinta hati yang baru, si dia yang jauh di mata... Tiba2 hari ini, hati aku bagai disentap bila terlihat status skype dia yang ada memberi hint yang dia dah berpunya. Lebih mengejutkan lagi, bila buat pertama kalinya, dia meletakkan gambar perempuan di profile skype-nya. Rasa macam hati ni remuk, berkecai2.

Masalah besar ni! Tak mungkin aku masih ada hati pada dia. Seorang yang takkan mungkin aku miliki. Dan lebih menyakitkan lagi adalah bila aku sedar akan hakikat tu. Apakah aku benar2 sayangkan zainul? Dan adakah dia benar2 cintakan aku? Atau kami hanya menjadikan each other sebagai sandaran untuk mengisi kekosongan hati? Masih ada lagi kah saki baki perasaan aku pada "dia"? Jahatkah aku kalau aku katakan, setelah aku berada dalam relationship dengan zainul for a while, aku rasa macam menyesal menerima cinta zainul? Adakah menerima zainul satu keputusan yang betul? Ada ketikanya aku rasa seperti perasaan aku pada zainul bukanlah cinta tapi sekadar menjadikan peneman aku dikala sunyi.. Atau adakah itu hanyalah sebahagian daripada mainan hati dan semata-mata perasaan ku sahaja?

Wajarkah aku untuk masih menyimpan perasaan aku pada "dia"?

Of Annoyance and Hatred...

In this world, when we think people around us are all grown up and matured enough to be understanding and tolerance, there are people who grew up not in accordance to the natural human developmental stages. It's as if their mental processes do not change and develop from a toddler's cognitive processes.

I haven't write/talk bad about other people for quite sometimes, now. Not that everyone around me is angelic but, their misbehaviours or intolerance didn't exceed my level of patience. Not to the extent that could drive me into writing such negative commentaries about them unlike this one particular individual, that I had been trying to tolerate and trying to create a stronger bond with for quite sometimes. Ever since we got to know each other, she always seemed to have somethings against me. At first, I thought it was just my pessimism, but as time goes by, I realised that there are some parts of me that she just couldnt agree with. So, yeah, fair enough. You can't expect everyone to like you. So, I take it possitively and try to make friend with her as close as possible. Bearing in mind, reminding myself that this friendship might need more time to strengthen.

However, these few weeks had tested my patience towards her. Now, I have come to a point that I just couldn't stand her comments and lame jokes anymore. I was so pissed off to know that she gave a totally unacceptable, lame, idiotic excuses to refuse a job/responsibility for an upcoming big event. And in return, I was the one who being appointed to take over her responsibility. Though, taking the responsibility was not the major problem I have against her, I just couldn't accept her lame excuse to get away from the job. I would be soo happy to state everything clearly as clear as crystal in this post, but i know that many people out there including friends of friends of friends are reading my blog. So, just to be sensitive about any possible outcomes of my commentary about her here, I will just try not to be too clear on every details.

She refused the responsibility given to her because of some ethical and religious issues about accepting the task. When at the same time, she said yes to the same task but of a lesser level of responsibility and importance which totally doesn't make any sense to her excuses at all! Because her lame excuses also apply to us, her other Muslims friends whom accepting the same task as her without much excuses and complaints. Lame, lame LAME!!!!

To make things worst, today, she made a very weird, impolite, statement straight to my face! It was when I voiced out my idea on going for an audition for solo performance on an upcoming event. I already had the idea even before I was given the responsibility. When one of our friends said that he wants to perform in the upcoming event, she asked me whether I still wanted to do a solo performance that night. When my response was positive, she said something like; "Wah! Tak cukup famous ke dengan responsibility yang dorg bagi tu??" That comment was followed by an annoying giggle by her. I wasn't sure whether she was trying to make a lame, totally-unfunny joke or she was being sarcastic there. But, whatever it was, it really made me sick! And she added something like "Takpelah, you ade great voice, can play musical instrument, unlike I." Who in the first place caused me to get that responsibility in replacing that intolerance someone?! YOU! Who is that someone? YOU! Dahlah latihan selalu tak datang... Bengang betul orang macam ni.

Huh! Puas hati aku dapat hembur semua straight from my heart. I don't really like to smear my sweet, happy blog with hatred and painful remarks about someone. But, it does feel good to be able to do that once in a while. Only when I can't hold it much longer and when I have no one to complain to. To you, if you ever read this post of mine, and if you think that it is you and somehow feel offended about what i wrote here, don't you ever mention it in front of me. Because I dont give a damn about it! This is a medium for me to blurt out my inner thoughts and feelings about my surrounding. You should feel honoured to be mentioned and to have a remark in my writing piece.

Makan Dessert Banyak2 Sampai Mabuk (Sugar Rush)

Last Friday, Umsa organised a Dessert Nite at the Knights in Stamford Plaza Hotel. 71 people including the committees attended the event. It was again, a social-officers event. So happy to see satisfaction on everyone's face that night. It was full of awesomeness. The food, place, people, environment. All in all, I would say I was very happy with the flow of the event. It was a very good bargain. $10 for a Dessert Buffet in a hotel! Where can you get such price?? Normal price is $16, okay.

Those who want to complain, shut up, you! Eat my shoes! Not easy to plan on an event while you're being quarantine and had to work on stuff at home. With that much dessert, in such an elegant venue, with such a cheap price, if you got anything to complain on, I will make sure you get one big, nice slap from me, personally! No offence, people. But, if you're offended, do u think I care?? It's just, I was so annoyed with some people, who had so many "cekadak", and simply give out bad comments when they didnt even attend those events! And sometimes, people didnt think before they made any comment. Think about the price, and other factors. If you paid for less than $15 or $20 for an event which the main focus was food, then, dont expect to have a grand ball room or in other word, dont put high expectation on it. You get what you paid for! And for you, who didnt even attend the event(s), dont make judgemental or negative comments based on people's talk.

The Dessert Nite started at 7.45pm and went on up to 10.30pm. But some of us including me, we hang out for a while, chit chatting, making lame jokes, and teasing each others (very Malaysian style, ala2 melepak kat kedai mamak!). We, then, walked down to the harbour. Walking in a very super duper slow pace. We were very hyper, like drunk people maybe because of sugar rush. Excessive consumption of sugar.

Snapped some random pictures... See those 2 jokers?? My friends are weird! I know... Hahaha! But, those are some of the faces that I am gonna miss so much after I left Auckland.. T_T

I got home around half past 12 that night. Really tired. Doze off...

Glamorous, Exclusive, Malaysian Dinner

Stopped updating my blog for a while now. Thank you to friends who care about my health condition last week. Happy to be up and running again now, that I am recovered. I started going back to uni last Tuesday. Missing the first week of uni was really not much of an extension holiday especially, to know that I had a lot to catch up on things. Already recieved so many assignments in hand. *double sigh* I seriously think this sem is very hectic and all the subjects are very tough and challenging. On top of all those academic loads, I have Umsa events to organise, Umsa Ball, AGM, social events, BFM concerts' practices every now and then, and not to forget my practicum. I wonder whether I can survive these last few months in Auckland, in terms of financial, studies, and time management.

Last Wednesday, there was a dinner held by Malaysian Deputy Minister of Plantation and Commodity (I dont think this is the correct tittle coz its not long enough, but I guess the Malay version sounds something like this: Timb. Menteri Perusahaan, Perladangan dan Komoditi, kot!). There were 4 Malaysian assocs in Auckland (Umsa, Umno, Petunia, Mapsa) and each assoc was represented by 5 committees. So, overall, there were 20 assoc reps invited that night. But, I was surprised to see the whole cohort 5 aka my juniors, to be there as well. Then, I was told by someone that they bumped onto one of the deligates earlier that day and was invited along to the dinner. If I wasnt there, I would say it was quite unfair to know that Cohort 5 could attend it but not my cohort. But, who cares. I got the free food, and the VIP table as well. Lol~

One deligate was seated in each table so as to say to mingle around with us. I, initially sat with other Umsa's reps and Afiqah from Petunia. We got this pak cik who was so boring and kept on talking about plantation and forestry. I dont mind if u want to talk about such thing to me but, please project your voice so that other people at the other end of the table could hear every single thing you were saying. Plus, you might need to improve on your lecture giving skill. Gosh! I could die of boredom there.

The appetizer was served. Consists of karipap, satay yang sangat sedap, popiah goreng and kuah kacang yang terbaik! Eating the karipap reminded me of how much I missed Malaysian karipap. I was totally in seven heaven coz the karipap was really2 Malaysian-like-karipap. hahaha... And then, comes the satay and kuah kacang. Honestly, I am not a fan of satay. Not at all. Back in Malaysia, the most I could eat was 5 sticks of satay. But this satay was really awesome, and addictive! But, yeah.. nama pun appetizer. Mana nak dapat banyak2 satay. Sorang secucuk sudey~ T_T

Not long after we finished the appetizer, another pakcik aka deligate (kalau aku bahasakan pak cik tu paham2 je lah yang dorang tu adalah deligates hehe...) came to our table and ask one of us to accompany Datin at the VIP table. I was trying to avoid from being picked. Unfortunately, the pak cik straight away pointed to me and said" hah, you, jom teman datin, jom!" Dalam hati, I was like: "Hah! Teman datin??? Tak cukup peneman ke kat meja vip tu?? Matilah aku.. ape modal aku nak borak dengan datin ni. Hish tak pernah umur la aku dok meja vip ni!" Then, to be professional kan... takkan nak tolak2 kat orang lain, very childish lah kan kalau buat macam tu. So, I just followed him to the vip table. Then, I was happy to know that I was seated in between Naomi and Ikhwan. At least, I know these people. Then, when the datin started to speak to me, I found that she was pretty cool after all. Waaaaayyyy better than the pak cik in my previous table. Then, I realised that I was so lucky to be dragged to this table. The datin was actually a Teslian. But of course, it was like yearsss back then. She said, she was in the first batch of tesl in Malaysia. Wow! My super x10 senior! Lol~ We talked about current issues, Auckland, Shopping, Diners, etc2.
The food! Now, come the best part: the main course. Nasi putih, kari ayam yg sgt banyak portionnye, rendang daging, sayur campur, ikan masak kicap yg sedap dan besar betol! I thought that was all. Then, suddenly, they served mee goreng???!!!! I felt like dying bcos of excessive food in my stomach. haha. And of course, I didnt try the noodles. No regret at all. Seriously. Then the dato siap asked the waitresses to bring white breads to each table so that we can eat the bread with kari. You know, Malaysian style... roti dan kari. hahaha. seriously felt like eating at home. Wuaaaa!! Now, I feel home sick again. The dessert consisted of different types of fruits being served. Me and Naomi checked on their menu and saw the price of each of the dishes. They cost around $20 plus per dish. Wow! That's very satisfying. hahaha... Bila lagi kan nak rasa makan free food mewah like that. Hehe...

Oh, the event started around 8 and finished after 10.30pm. But, we were all there around 7pm, and we chow by half past 10. Luckily, we, Umsa people tumpang Naomi's car. I cant imagine having to walk all the way back with full stomach. And so, that was all about the glam dinner despite of the lengthy but informative speeches by the VIPs.