As I was taking my shower this morning, I come to think of the people, friends, and relationships that exist in my life and my surroundings. All the thoughts that are related to these things made me ponder upon the true meaning of friendship. Is friendship a trading item? It might be true for some people. It might be true for me as well - at times, with some people.

I would like to bring you to another dimension of friendship that maybe you have never entered or discovered before. Do you know, some people regard friendship as a trading tool. A tool or medium to achieve or earn something. And, there are also people, who never learned how to build an honest frienship without having a TOOL/ MEDIUM for keeping "friends" around them. Or in other words, a tool to keep the knot tight. These 'people' may include you, I, they, or anyone.

Admit it. Who never pretended to be nice with someone just for the sake of the free rides during "financial breakdown" seasons? Who never play with sweet words on not-so-close friends when they are going on a date tomorrow and suddenly realised that they didn't have anything good to wear for that occasion? These are some of the examples of situations when a person put friendship on the table for trading. Friendship is being traded with items/ priviledges/ services.

Do not feel surprise when I say that sometimes, some people need a tool to build a freindship. Without this tool, they will have nothing in common and therefore, will have almost nothing to talk about or issues to be discussed on. This tool can be 1) the same course that they are studying together, 2) one single movie that everyone in the group should love so that everyone could have a say on it, 3) a car that they can ride on together so that they could have their outings together, 4) a guitar so that he/she could fit in and play along with the rest, or 5) the same shirts so that other people will notice how they are alike and that they belong to a particular group. The tool can be of anything. Anything at all.

A simpler example is as follow:

There are Mickey, Doraemon, Popeye, Garfield, and Shrek playing at the playground. None of them know one another. That evening, The ugly Shrek brought along a huge packet of caramel popcorn to the playground. Slowly, the ever-hungry Garfield approached the ugly Shrek. Then, came the talking mouse, Mickey. And soon after, the rest of them were surrounding the ugly ogre. Though they were all very different from one another, they managed to put aside the differences just for the sake of the popcorn. Thus, some of them who were very skillful with words and had sweet mouths could easily persuade Shrek to share some of his popcorn with them. But, others had to climb slowly to the top in order to get some of their shares. They talked, and played together. Before they realised it, they were eating the popcorn together, all five of them. Then, the time had come. They were running out of popcorn. They tried to initiate further conversations and tried to expand their bonding. But, sooner or later, one by one walked away from Shrek, the empty-handed ogre. Without any misunderstanding/disagreement/quarrel, their short friendship had come to an end.

Well, that was when some people use a tool to build a friendship and when some other people need a tool to keep their friendships.

I personally think, there are times when we unintentionally needed a tool-based friendship. Because it happens everywhere. But, I don't think that this kind of friendship would last. The longest might be for months or years but never is forever. Soon, when they had finished studying that same course, when they had gone bored liking the same movie, when other people offered better cars, when they had lost their guitars or gone tired learning guitar, or the trend of wearing the same shirts had wear off of the trend, the friendship, will lose its sparks.

I was just writing this post as a reminder to you, to myself and to everyone else. Because no one is perfect. As much as I would love to curse and pray for the worst for all the backstabbers, or plastic-faced so-called friends, I should try to forgive them (or the least I could do is to forget) because they are just like me, an imperfect creature of Allah, the Almighty God of the universe.
Thank you, Ibu for taking care of for 9 months pluss in your womb and let me explore this world. Thank you too for caring, loving, and educating me for 22 years ever since i was borned.

Thank you, Abah for loving, caring, educating, and providing all the things that i need in life for these 22 years.

Now, that I am 22 years old, I am slowly flying away from my parents' nest to build my very own nest- preferrably not too far away from theirs.

Thank you, friends for your thoughtful birthday wishes, gifts, midnight phone calls for hours (this is specially referring to Zali), and birthday treats -pasts and yet to come (hehe! im waiting, im waiting...).

Special thank you to Kak Mard, K.A, and Acan for celebrating my birthday in Carl's Jr last Thursday. And of course thank you for the super cute and super sweet "Little Atie" and the birthday gift. Love u guys A LOT!

This is the cake that Acan and KA called "Little Atie" coz according to em it looks like me. hahaha! So cute, aite?

This is "Pocoyo". She is a birthday gift from Kak Mard, KA and Acan. I love her coz she is so adorable. And of course I luv em all for buying tis cute lil thing that I always wanted. Tq korang!

"Premier Jour" by Nina Ricci-prezzy from Abah. Really10x like the scent. Woohoo!

A bday gift from Mar and Izzah. I know it was an empty cadbury box wrapped up with a big ribbon. Initially (of course before it went empty), the box was full of home-made blueberry cheese tarts. So nyummy. Freshly made by Mar. Tapi, obviously dah kena balun in one day! Totally forgot to take pic of it while it was still full. Hehe!

Thank you everyone! Luv this year's birthday compared to last year's.


Parked my car near Kerinchi station, dash to Masjid Jamek by LRT as soon as he called me saying he was already on the train. While on the LRT.... lots of things came to my mind:

-how should i great him for the first time?
-where should i stand?
-how should i smile/ should i make my normal face?
-what should i say?

Then, when i finally reached Masjid Jamek, i then, realised there were 2 sides of the station. Damn! The most important thing that i forgot to think while on the LRT: which side will he be waiting for me? I was so nervous by then that i could not think properly while looking at the map. URgh! Then, i seriously didnt know what made me think that he would be coming out from side A. I found a spot, directly opposite the exit, waited there for few minutes... then, he called. He said he was already in front of the ticket counter. I went, "Hah?!!!" Hrmmm... then, "Alamak, i think i tunggu u kat side yg salahlah..." (Dalam hati menyumpah coz habis plan asal aku. Hahaha!)

So, he crossed the road to my side coz we needed to take the LRT back to Kerinchi from this side. I was smiling when i saw him. One thing that poped out in my head was, "Pergh, tinggi giler mamat ni..." And I'm telling you, he was defintely thinking the opposite way of me. Coz the first thing that came out of his mouth was, "Aik, rendah je u ni..." Huh! Yelah I know I'm short not like you.. Nasib baik dia tak cakap, "Aik, gemuknya u ni..." If that was the case, memang nak kene cubit2 lah tuuu...

Okay, now let me give you just the brief details of what happened next...

  • Reached my car only to noticed that i was fined for parking on a yellow line! Darn! Bila aku tak parking situ, takde pun sape2 nak fine org. Time aku park barulah pakcik polis nak nyaman2 org. Aku park sat je pun. Urgh!! Dahlah takde duit nak makan, nak shopping ni kan pulak nk bayar saman.
  • Went to OU. We had our first lunch, watch mv together for the first time, etc. Yeah, basically, that day was the our first time of everything together. It was pretty hard during paying time. I was so used to pay my own stuff, not depending on guys to pay for me. And of course, I have this perception that, it was very ungentleman for a guy to be treated by a girl. Plus, my friends have been advicing me not to be taken advantaged on by a guy on our first meet. So, i found it really hard to make it clear to him when it comes to paying time--especially now, that I am pokai. Also, I can be very kedekut when it comes to treating people who is not so close to me. And I can be very generous to those close ones.
  • Our 1st mv was "The Losers". Yeah, I know it wasnt romantic at all. But, hey! It wasnt that bad after all. Lots of actions and some humours with a lil bit of romance. I think it was better than watching "Iron Man" on a first date. (Sorry Sayang, bukan nak kata pilihan u tak best, tapi memang tak best pun.. hehehe!) Luckily Iron Man was at 6pm. But, of course pity him coz he really wanted to watch it. Me, I always wanted to watch a romantic comedy with my BF. Now, that i finally got the chance to watch mv with my BF, the showing time for Date Night was not suitable for us. *Sigh*
  • Had our dinner together at Mid Valley food court. I was glad that he told me during dinner that he was comfortable with me. He said that was bcoz i am very talkative. Hahaha! Dah tau dah... Even Ibu pun dah agak Atie lebih banyak bebel bila kuar dgn Din. Hurm.. what to do.. that's Atie. I am quite an extrovert person. As Nisah used to called me, "Cibi"! Whatever does that mean, Nisah.
I liked him a lot. From our first meeting, I learned that he was a very possessive man, caring, loving, understanding and have lotsa patience on me. No matter what i said, how angry and pissed i was, no matter how moody i was, he would always remain calm and cool. That's good. Hot and cold. Fire and water. Well, so far everything went good between us. Hope it would remain that way, maybe even better in the future... hopefully.
Helloooooo ma blog!! Woow! This is weird. Awkward… I don’t know where to begin. Like meeting a guy for the first time, I don’t know how to start. Okay, first thing first. After a month returning to Malaysia, I bought Celcom broadband. It was around Dec. The speed was quite bearable when used at home. But, using it in the hostel, namely Ipba block 4, really tested my patience to the max! $58 for 5G so as they said. But, with the limited connectivity and very slow internet speed, I only managed to use up to max of 2G of my data. I might as well buy maxis broadband which cost around 50plus for 3G (if im not mistaken lah…). Towards the 3rd month of using it, I started to give up my patience. So, bye bye to staying up late till 3/ 4 am just to serve the net and I started my favourite habit-excessive napping in the noon. Well, without sacrificing my sleeping hours, it was almost impossible to get any connection (because those are ipbarians’ sleeping hours). In other words, I’ve not been online ever since that time.

One day, I felt like checking on my internet. Plug in the modem, tried to connect to the net, and walla! I forgot to settle my overdue payments. Nice one! Then, one day, I saw digi was doing a promo for its broadband. $30plus for 5G without modem that is. Since my modem at home can be used for any simcards, I decided not to buy the digi modem. Went back, I tried once more my celcom broadband but, suddently a pop up window appeared saying stuff showing that there was a prob with my modem. Then, I changed to my digi sim.. again… damn! Now, it’s the modem pulak! Sial giler lah… bengang aku bengang… So, people, that’s the whole story of my sudden disappearance. Sorry for no updates these few months.

Many things happened in my life these few months. I would try to simplify everything.. I am trying ok… you know how I love to write lengthy posts.. duh~

-went out with this handsome bloke. Well hey! Who knows he’s a dumbass bastard! He lied to me. One day, kantoi that he already had a gf back in Kelantan. Yes, he’s a Kelantanese! He even lied to me about his hometown.  ditch him! Duh~

-somebody stole my kitten when she already chose her own in the 1st place. Reason: she suddenly changed her mind, wanted a female one + she said she already took care and fed the kitten for a week. (What?! I cant believe her. I fed the kittenssss and the mum for weeks. Did I say nything? Not even to her when she stole my kitten.) I couldn’t look at the kitten for few weeks. I felt like crying coz I really love that kitty and planning to take it once she is big enough and the mum is ready to separate with her babies.

-well, now, I don’t bother bout it nymore. Well, wounds take time to recover you know. Well, I guess ‘this’ wound has somewhat recovered. So, u could do whatever to that kitten.

-All of us seemed so close once. Went to lectures together, eat together, went out together… But, one day, everything seemed to start to change. I wasn’t sure either I, unintentionally had hurt their feelings or did something wrong to them or whatever… But, what I am sure is that they started leaving me behind, purposely not including me in their plans, etc. Yeah, if im not mistaken all these took place when one of them drove her mum’s car to ipba. So yeah. A car can only fit 5 people comfortably including the driver. So, maybe I had to accept the excuse of “tak muat”.

-I tak tahan with this one ‘mak cik’. Dia kata dia tak suka orang angkatkan her clothes kat ampaian. But u know what? That ampaian is not urs. It is shared with 12 other housemates. Well, not that I ever angkatkan her baju but, yeah obviously-lah I did moved her clothes away from my wet clothes. I really think that she should be thankful to whoever yang angkat her baju tu. At least, not like some people who simply hang their wet clothes near others’ dry ones. And there are also people, who xreti2 nak angkat baju dah berhari2 pun buat bodo je. Yg itu, memang nak kene lempar je baju2 nye. If the person balik kampong ke understandable lah. Tapi ade tu yg ade je balik rumah at least sekejap, gi lah cek kain-baju tu. Orang len pun nak pakai ampaian. Bila kene galih tau nak bersungut pulak.

-There is this one bitch, she, out of no where come out with a stupid idea accusing me as a thief. Eff you see kay! She went out with some frenz. Then, she could find her watch. Suddenly, she made this statement, “Mesti ……. I yang curi jam I”. then, she searched in her bag only to find her fucking watch. Excuse me! I don’t want ur watch or stuff. Whatever… I don’t give a shit pun. Cuma, at times, when she talked nicely to me, it sure reminds me of what she accused me of.

-Ooo.. then there is IPBA. Sucky Yucky Ipba. With ridiculous, atrocious rules and time management that make everyone’s life miserable. Great that I have only have 1 more sem of practicum to go.

-Now, I’m with Azudin@Din. He is so kind, caring, loving, etc. Still working on this one tho.

Guess, these are the important stuff I want to share here. The rest, cant think of any at the moment. Will continue some other time.