It's not easy u know.. to express everything. Especially to u. I hate u but somehow I do think that I love u. I wanna be mad at u, but when u're there, I just couldnt blurt out d madness. I was so frustrated that I felt like crying and shouting at u so that u know and realise that your feeling is not the only thing that matter here! Care about mine as well, would you???
It's not about who bored who, or who is d boring one. It's about being tolerance and understanding. We r lacked of those. I know, but u dont. All that u know is me being ignorance, and u being disappointed. How about turning the table the other way around?
I have been trying to be as reasonable as possible. Sometimes.. NO! Most of the times, I felt that you're taking me for granted. Taking my patience and love for granted. Don't, coz I might not still be waiting for u tomorrow.
Indeed, at this point when Im writing this, I feel like my feelings toward you are starting to erode slowly piece by piece. You took me for granted... I am not gonna wait for you any longer. I am so tired of this. Not of you, but of your attitude!
Yesterday was the shortest day of the year. It was the middle of winter and the day is way shoerter than the night compared to any other days. Of course, I didnt realise the different.. duh~. Me, Intan & Mira met up at Nandos at 8pm (of course it was already dark since Isya' came at 6 something), we ate a lot! I met my former colleagues- Lee and the Indian guy..forgot his name. Suddenly I realised how I missed em haha. The Indian bai put extra sauce on my chicken which was awesome..lol! I ordered Half chicken Combo with spicy rice as the side + a Jumbo Peri2 chips- treat us girls haha.. I think Intan had BBQ ribs Combo with upgraded large spicy rice as the side, and Mira had Half Chicken (not combo mind you, coz they unfortunately running out of spicy rice... and disappointed Mira.)
We finished eating around 10mins to 9. Then we walked across the street to the cinema. We sticked to our previous decision to watch "The land of the lost world"(I think that's the title.. LOL). All the way lining up to the counter, we'd been complaining how the cinemas here in NZ dont sell caramel pop corn(only the salt and butter which was sooo eyew, tasteless!) while discussing what snacks we wanted to buy. We made up our mind to buy 1 large salt-n-butter pop corn (though), 1 pods & 1 frozen coke. We were so surprised when the counter lady asked us wheather we wanted the normal pop corn or the caramel one.. If we were to record our expressions that time we could definitely win the AFV award! hahaha... Even the counter lady almost break a laugh at us. hahaha... we were like- huh???? with very weird shocked faces... well definitely we go fo rd caramel pop corn- tho theirs are totally not as good as ours in Malaysia! They started selling the caramel pop dorn 4days earlier...
The movie was stupid-ous, hilarious and ridiculous! haha! It was very entertaining that we laughed 3/4 of the movie... But overall, I had a very good time last night, went home called abah to wish "Happy Father's Day" to him. Luckily we went out that night coz I totally forgot that it was father's day. Intan told me fuh.. nasib baik.. and also, lucky enough we have time different. 12midnight here is 8pm Malaysia. still not too late hehe.. Miss abah yg makin debab but always in denial of his "kedebaban"... haha
We finished eating around 10mins to 9. Then we walked across the street to the cinema. We sticked to our previous decision to watch "The land of the lost world"(I think that's the title.. LOL). All the way lining up to the counter, we'd been complaining how the cinemas here in NZ dont sell caramel pop corn(only the salt and butter which was sooo eyew, tasteless!) while discussing what snacks we wanted to buy. We made up our mind to buy 1 large salt-n-butter pop corn (though), 1 pods & 1 frozen coke. We were so surprised when the counter lady asked us wheather we wanted the normal pop corn or the caramel one.. If we were to record our expressions that time we could definitely win the AFV award! hahaha... Even the counter lady almost break a laugh at us. hahaha... we were like- huh???? with very weird shocked faces... well definitely we go fo rd caramel pop corn- tho theirs are totally not as good as ours in Malaysia! They started selling the caramel pop dorn 4days earlier...
The movie was stupid-ous, hilarious and ridiculous! haha! It was very entertaining that we laughed 3/4 of the movie... But overall, I had a very good time last night, went home called abah to wish "Happy Father's Day" to him. Luckily we went out that night coz I totally forgot that it was father's day. Intan told me fuh.. nasib baik.. and also, lucky enough we have time different. 12midnight here is 8pm Malaysia. still not too late hehe.. Miss abah yg makin debab but always in denial of his "kedebaban"... haha
When I was a kid, I thought it would be cool to be a grown up...
Got to decide my own life...
Got my own money...
Could buy anything I wanted..
But now, as a grown up, I realised how I missed those days being a kid...
No need to think of my life coz other people would think and decide for me..
Never had my own money, but that's okay..all i had to do was asked...
Mum n dad would buy them for me.. no big deal!
Now,
Money... BIG issue!
Got to decide my own life...
Got my own money...
Could buy anything I wanted..
But now, as a grown up, I realised how I missed those days being a kid...
No need to think of my life coz other people would think and decide for me..
Never had my own money, but that's okay..all i had to do was asked...
Mum n dad would buy them for me.. no big deal!
Now,
Money... BIG issue!
- House rent
- Internet Bill
- Groceries & Food
- Social Events
- Toiletries
- Miscellaneous Expenses
Future undertaking... an unsolved mystery!
- Life companionship???
- Love Life???
- Friendship???
- Family issues???
- Study???
- Work???
- Marriage???
- Children???
Terasa disentap jantung ku tatkala itu,
Terasa lemah seluruh badanku,
Terasa hinanya diriku,
Terasa ku lupa siapa aku yang dulu.
Ku sangka ku mulai hilang kesedaran diri,
Sedangkan pertimbangan ku telah hilang lama dulu,
Kekuatan ku yang dulu adalah kelemahan mu,
Kini yang tinggal hanyalah kelemahan diri...
Betapa ku hilang kewarasan akal,
Betapa ku hilang keyakinan diri..
Ku tinggalkan tegarnya hati,
Ku tinggalkan teguhnya pendirian diri,
Ku jauhi indahnya penilaian hati,
Ku hindari anggunnya tafsiran mimpi...
Demi sebuah mimpi yang tak pasti,
yang pudar dan melemahkan hati,
nan agungnya hanya pada keindahan duniawi,
kerna hilangnya pertimbangan diri....
Terasa lemah seluruh badanku,
Terasa hinanya diriku,
Terasa ku lupa siapa aku yang dulu.
Ku sangka ku mulai hilang kesedaran diri,
Sedangkan pertimbangan ku telah hilang lama dulu,
Kekuatan ku yang dulu adalah kelemahan mu,
Kini yang tinggal hanyalah kelemahan diri...
Betapa ku hilang kewarasan akal,
Betapa ku hilang keyakinan diri..
Ku tinggalkan tegarnya hati,
Ku tinggalkan teguhnya pendirian diri,
Ku jauhi indahnya penilaian hati,
Ku hindari anggunnya tafsiran mimpi...
Demi sebuah mimpi yang tak pasti,
yang pudar dan melemahkan hati,
nan agungnya hanya pada keindahan duniawi,
kerna hilangnya pertimbangan diri....
Ada kisah seorang anak yang diberi peluang untuk belajar di Amerika untuk dapatkan degree, tapi selepas 15 tahun, tak pernah lulus, akhirnya bapak dia dah tak sanggup lagi tanggung beban wang untuk anaknya itu, terpaksalah dia bawak balik ke Malaysia.
Sepanjang perjalanan dari airport ke rumah, bapaknya diam aje (marah la tu).
Si anak dah rasa tak best, so dia pun cari la idea untuk berbual & tunjuk pada bapak dia yang dia kat Amerika ada gain something la dgn pekembangan teknologi.
So dia cakap dgn bapak dia:
Anak: Bapak tau tak, kat Amerika sekarang teknologi dah maju giler. Sekarang nak buat sosej tak payah nak sembelih lembu, buang kulit, masuk je lembu dalam machine, dah jadi sosej....
Bapak: Itu teknologi dah lapuk. Kat Malaysia lagi advance. Aku 32 tahun dulu, masukkan sosej aje dah keluar lembu sekor... menyusahkan plak tu...
Kahkahkahkah!!! (Taken from my-sensasi)
[Ditujukan untuk kaum wanita dan lelaki yg merasakn betapa sukarnye memahami perasaan dan pemikiran pasangan masing2...]
Rumitnya seorang isteri, dan simplenya seorang suami...jadinya kena selalu berfikiran positif...barulah tercipta rumahku shurgaku!
BUKU HARIAN ISTERI
Malam Minggu - Dia berkelakuan aneh. Sebelumnya kami berjanji bertemu di Cafe. Aku shopping seharian dengan kawan-kawan, sehingga mungkin dia kesal karena aku agak lewat sampai di Cafe, tapi dia tak bercakap.
Dia tak bercakap langsung, jadi aku ajak dia pergi ke tempat yang agak sunyi supaya kami dapat berbincang,dia setuju tapi tetap diam membisu. Aku tanya apa yang salah - dia jawab, "Tak ada".
Aku tanyakan apakah kesalahan ku yang membuatnya kesal. Dia kata hal ini tak ada kaitannya dengan ku dan minta aku tak usah sibuk.
Dalam perjalanan pulang, ku katakan aku mencintainya, dia cuma tersenyum tipis dan tetap membisu. Aku tak dapat menjelaskan perangainya petang itu. Aku tak habis-habis berfikir kenapa dia tak menjawab, "Aku cinta kamu juga".
Sesampainya dirumah, aku merasa kehilangan dia, dan seolah-olah dia tak menghendaki ku lagi. Dia hanya duduk dan nonton depan TV; dia terlihat jauh dan menghilang.....
Akhirnya aku putuskan untuk tidur. Lebih kurang 10 minit kemudian, dia masuk ke kamar. Aku tak tahan lagi, ku putuskan untuk menghadapinya dan menanyakan soal sebenarnya, tapi dia langsung tertidur. Aku mulai menangis sampai tertidur. Aku tak tahu apa yang harus ku lakukan. Hidupku terasa bergoncang.....
BUKU HARIAN SUAMI
Hari ini REAL MADRID kalah. SIALLLLL!!!
(Taken from my-sensasi)
Rumitnya seorang isteri, dan simplenya seorang suami...jadinya kena selalu berfikiran positif...barulah tercipta rumahku shurgaku!
BUKU HARIAN ISTERI
Malam Minggu - Dia berkelakuan aneh. Sebelumnya kami berjanji bertemu di Cafe. Aku shopping seharian dengan kawan-kawan, sehingga mungkin dia kesal karena aku agak lewat sampai di Cafe, tapi dia tak bercakap.
Dia tak bercakap langsung, jadi aku ajak dia pergi ke tempat yang agak sunyi supaya kami dapat berbincang,dia setuju tapi tetap diam membisu. Aku tanya apa yang salah - dia jawab, "Tak ada".
Aku tanyakan apakah kesalahan ku yang membuatnya kesal. Dia kata hal ini tak ada kaitannya dengan ku dan minta aku tak usah sibuk.
Dalam perjalanan pulang, ku katakan aku mencintainya, dia cuma tersenyum tipis dan tetap membisu. Aku tak dapat menjelaskan perangainya petang itu. Aku tak habis-habis berfikir kenapa dia tak menjawab, "Aku cinta kamu juga".
Sesampainya dirumah, aku merasa kehilangan dia, dan seolah-olah dia tak menghendaki ku lagi. Dia hanya duduk dan nonton depan TV; dia terlihat jauh dan menghilang.....
Akhirnya aku putuskan untuk tidur. Lebih kurang 10 minit kemudian, dia masuk ke kamar. Aku tak tahan lagi, ku putuskan untuk menghadapinya dan menanyakan soal sebenarnya, tapi dia langsung tertidur. Aku mulai menangis sampai tertidur. Aku tak tahu apa yang harus ku lakukan. Hidupku terasa bergoncang.....
BUKU HARIAN SUAMI
Hari ini REAL MADRID kalah. SIALLLLL!!!
(Taken from my-sensasi)
Bahagia nya dapat pak we mcm nie...
Saya suka tengok jari awek saya...
Cantik betul... Sungguh!Sampai takut nak pegang...
Bukan takut patah...Tapi takut nanti jari kitorang tak boleh tolong each other
Di satu hari yang giler forever depan yang maha Esa...
Saya suka tengok rambut awek saya...
Cantik betol... Sungguh! Sebab tu saya belikan tudung...
Bukan sebab jeles orang lain tengok jugak....
Tapi takut nanti terbakar dek api neraka
Di suatu hari yang giler forever..
Saya suka tengok body awek saya....
Cantik betol... Sungguh! Sebab tu saya belikan dia telekong
Supaya mase die jumpa dengan Kekasih die Yang Utama
Dia lagi cantik dan berseri menghadap Nya.
Saya pun tumpang dapat pahala. Pheh syoknye...
Saya sedih tengok awek saya
Tak tido,tak makan rindu kat saya...
Saya pun macam tu jugak, problem yang sama..
Die tanya apa ubatnya?Saya pun bagi die Quran untuk penenang jiwa...
Semoga lebih cintakan Nya dari saya...
Saya sedih tengok awek saya
Selalu pesan macam-macam kat saya...
"Makan, minum, drive elok-elok tau..Nanti awak sakit saye susah ati bla bla bla bla" katenya...
Tapi bila tengok movie sama-sama burn asar maghrib gitu
Die tak kata satu aper pun...
Berdosanye saya....
Kesimpulannya saya memang sayang dia...
Nak jumper die giler forever...
Yang forever punye forever...
Di dunia dan akhirat terutamanya,
Janji nak share heaven sama-sama...
Bahagia selamanya...
Semoga kami saling mengingati,
Dosa sendiri pun infiniti...
Nak tanggung dosa dia lagi pulak lepas ni...
Semoga kami menginsafi diri...
Ya Allah ampunkanlah kami....
Semoga kami dapat bersama selamanya nanti..
Saya suka tengok jari awek saya...
Cantik betul... Sungguh!Sampai takut nak pegang...
Bukan takut patah...Tapi takut nanti jari kitorang tak boleh tolong each other
Di satu hari yang giler forever depan yang maha Esa...
Saya suka tengok rambut awek saya...
Cantik betol... Sungguh! Sebab tu saya belikan tudung...
Bukan sebab jeles orang lain tengok jugak....
Tapi takut nanti terbakar dek api neraka
Di suatu hari yang giler forever..
Saya suka tengok body awek saya....
Cantik betol... Sungguh! Sebab tu saya belikan dia telekong
Supaya mase die jumpa dengan Kekasih die Yang Utama
Dia lagi cantik dan berseri menghadap Nya.
Saya pun tumpang dapat pahala. Pheh syoknye...
Saya sedih tengok awek saya
Tak tido,tak makan rindu kat saya...
Saya pun macam tu jugak, problem yang sama..
Die tanya apa ubatnya?Saya pun bagi die Quran untuk penenang jiwa...
Semoga lebih cintakan Nya dari saya...
Saya sedih tengok awek saya
Selalu pesan macam-macam kat saya...
"Makan, minum, drive elok-elok tau..Nanti awak sakit saye susah ati bla bla bla bla" katenya...
Tapi bila tengok movie sama-sama burn asar maghrib gitu
Die tak kata satu aper pun...
Berdosanye saya....
Kesimpulannya saya memang sayang dia...
Nak jumper die giler forever...
Yang forever punye forever...
Di dunia dan akhirat terutamanya,
Janji nak share heaven sama-sama...
Bahagia selamanya...
Semoga kami saling mengingati,
Dosa sendiri pun infiniti...
Nak tanggung dosa dia lagi pulak lepas ni...
Semoga kami menginsafi diri...
Ya Allah ampunkanlah kami....
Semoga kami dapat bersama selamanya nanti..
Tunggu sampai 2, 3 pagi...
Tunggu punya tunggu...
pastu cuba, cuba tak dapat...
Apa perasaan anda?
Tunggu punya tunggu...
pastu cuba, cuba tak dapat...
Apa perasaan anda?
This sem I have to take 2 core subjects and 2 electives. Non of these courses have exam. That's the plus point here. The downfall part is the tonness of assignments and 3 tests being crammed in one final week! Giler sakit otak aku... main game! Hahaha bukan belajar pon... but, of courselah aku study akn despite of half of my time devoted to my gamessss... LOL!
One of the 2 core courses is an online course. We have no lectures to attend, no tutorial class, no need to see the lecturers... which is awesome, eyh! haha! We just have spend some times on the laptop, cracking our heads for a 600-words essay every once a while. We had 3 discussions and have to submit an essay for each discussion, provide at least 2 comments to others' essays, and write replies to comments made to our essays. Sounds easy? Memang easy pon sebenarnye. The difficult part was just to start the essay because we were only given a stimulation-kind-of question, and we had to find our own issue and context of discussion. That's the most difficult part for me.
Right before I write this post, I just did my on-line test for that course. We had 1 hr 30mins to answer the test. It was awesome. First time amik test on-line. Kinda awkward actually because I am so used to coming to the exam hall prepared, mentally and physically prepared. And just now, I had to take the test with my pyjamas on, surrounded by food, books, basically i didnt feel like i was taking an academic test. Since there was no lecture for this course, so I took the exam unprepared hahaha! But ok je... it was like dicussion style...
I like that course-EDUC 384 because it was interesting to experience an on-line learning experience. No lectures, no lecture notes to read n memorise so that we can muntahkn balik everything during exams, can do the task anytime suits me and best of all... can study while playign games! hahaha!
EDUC 384 rocks!!!
but my LT 303 test tomorrow... sooo gonna die!
I always wonder whether you will stay the same?
Well at least, having the same feeling about us.
Are you going to be a better person?
And taking your life even more seriously?
What if I ask you to wait for few more months,
Will you still be there?
Waiting for me perhaps as a better you?
Or will you turn your back to someone better?
I am still waiting, waiting for your answer,
Waiting for an affirmative assurance.
So that I wont have to keep on wondering
About all the uncertainties in my mind.
Would you try to learn me then?
Try to understand that my life differs than yours.
Would you be so kind to hold my hand?
When I almost lost grip of my life?
Will you still be patient when I lost mine?
Will you stick by my side till the end?
Will you still be the same when I changed?
Will you start talking when I am filled with silence?
With so many questions without answers,
Only one I’m desperate for answer at the moment.
And that is the one that I don’t dare to ask
Coz I am too afraid to know what the answer might be like.
P/s- this is what you get when your brain deviates too much from its original task.... Off-tasking is my expertise.
Well at least, having the same feeling about us.
Are you going to be a better person?
And taking your life even more seriously?
What if I ask you to wait for few more months,
Will you still be there?
Waiting for me perhaps as a better you?
Or will you turn your back to someone better?
I am still waiting, waiting for your answer,
Waiting for an affirmative assurance.
So that I wont have to keep on wondering
About all the uncertainties in my mind.
Would you try to learn me then?
Try to understand that my life differs than yours.
Would you be so kind to hold my hand?
When I almost lost grip of my life?
Will you still be patient when I lost mine?
Will you stick by my side till the end?
Will you still be the same when I changed?
Will you start talking when I am filled with silence?
With so many questions without answers,
Only one I’m desperate for answer at the moment.
And that is the one that I don’t dare to ask
Coz I am too afraid to know what the answer might be like.
P/s- this is what you get when your brain deviates too much from its original task.... Off-tasking is my expertise.
Life aint a fairy tale
Every journey will come to an end
No such thing as a never ending story
Nor living happily ever after
Happy now but suffer later
No fairy godmother or tooth fairy
to come to d rescue nor grant all ur wishes to come true
So dont expect a perfect prince charming to come to ur way riding a macho black horse
Cos all that u might get is someone good looking enough only to tear ur heart apart
I guess this is just what I realised from my life
That fairy tales only exist in story books
I have to be more real about what lies for me
Instead of running away trying to build my own fairy tale
What's the purpose of smiling
If the only thing I can do is to burst into tears
What's the purpose of facing you
If all that ill bring is pressure and anger
But now I know
that life aint a fairy tale
but my life sure is
A colurful story to tell...
Every journey will come to an end
No such thing as a never ending story
Nor living happily ever after
Happy now but suffer later
No fairy godmother or tooth fairy
to come to d rescue nor grant all ur wishes to come true
So dont expect a perfect prince charming to come to ur way riding a macho black horse
Cos all that u might get is someone good looking enough only to tear ur heart apart
I guess this is just what I realised from my life
That fairy tales only exist in story books
I have to be more real about what lies for me
Instead of running away trying to build my own fairy tale
What's the purpose of smiling
If the only thing I can do is to burst into tears
What's the purpose of facing you
If all that ill bring is pressure and anger
But now I know
that life aint a fairy tale
but my life sure is
A colurful story to tell...
Labels:
Love Story,
Merepek
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