2 years celebrating raya abroad made me forgot how it feels like having around family and the raya preparation at kampung. It felt like I ve been dreaming. Sometimes, I was confused as to whether I was here last year during raya.

This year raya, for the first time, I experience Hari Raya without Atuk Mok as she passed away in May last year. And this year, Atuk Ayah had stroke so he could not walk around the house. It's kinda weird preparing all the meals without hearing my Atok Mok's voice membebel while helping out in the kitchen. And Atuk Ayah, normally, he would be the one buying all the ingredients, and supervising all the work. But, this year, we could see the dissappointment in his face for he could only give instructions while sitting on his chair.

This raya is my last chance to collect duit raya. Gosh! Tua dah aku. Pantasnya masa berlalu. I felt like I was only 12 few years back and now I am 22. I start working next year which means bye-bye duit raya and be prepared to give angpau instead. I used to get between RM150-300 duit raya before this. But, this year, my duit raya does not even reach RM100.

This raya, I met cousins, nephews, nieces that Ive not seen for a long time. The last time I remembered seeing them, some were toddlers, some were very short but now, they were way taller than me, some look more mature than the last time we met. All these made me feel older. Aaaaaa! Noooo! Im still young. Im young. Young. Young. And Young.