First Day of school, Again...

Week 1 Practicum
Onehunga High School
Bumi Auckland, Nz.

Last week, Thursday, was the first week of my practicum this sem. It was like my first day of school again. Felt like I was 7 again and entering the first day of school. Only this time, no abah or ibu to accompany and hold my hand into the class. Only 2 weird, not-so-helpful guys going to the practicum with me. Also, this time, I am entering the school as a student-teacher. Eat my lunch (or brunch) in the stuff room instead of hanging out with dear teenage friends in the canteen or school compounds. People call me Miss instead of just by names (except for some ESOL students, but I dont mind at all).

For the first 5 weeks of practicum, we went to school every Thursdays. And so, felt very reluctant to get ready and jumped into the shower as early as 6.30am. Experience my-forever-coolness of smoking breath! The school that I went to was 3 stages away from Auckland City which costed me around $8 return to and from school. The bus stop and the school was about 7-10mins walking distance. Met Michelle Heather, the person in charged on our practicum and received our practicum booklet consisting of our timetables, and details of the school. On Thurdays, I have to attend 1 Home period about 10 mins, and 2 ESOL classes and 2 mainstream classes. Felt rather awkward since it was my first day meeting the teachers and the students. Also because I am so used to being a student myself and now I have to switch on my teacher-head.

Nonnette's Esol class was quite boring because it was full of assessments. Can't put the blame on her coz now is the 2nd half of the year and it's time for assessments. So, I was just sitting silently in her class, and came out with questions by the end of that period.

John's Esol class was more interesting than Nonnette's class because he was teaching a lower level of Esol class. Most of the students in this class could not even write a proper essay, speak proper English yet, and have limited range of vocabulary. John is a very friendly, energetic, and warmth hearted teacher which made me feel very comfortable being in his class. Very funny, full of sarcasm in his words (unfortunately, most of his students could not get most of his sarcasm anyway XD), and a very experienced teacher as well. He introduced me to the class, made me remember some of the students names, and tried to include me in his lesson which in a way helped me bond with the students.

Mark's English class is a mainstream class which means that English is either the students' first language (L1) or the have high proficiency level of English. I have 2 classes with him. I don't really like his 1st class because I think the students are quite snobbish and have a very high disrespect of him though, they undoubtedly portrayed a very high level of intelligence and are very smart. There are 3 extreme groups in this class: those who are very super duper talkative, non-stop talking machines, those who are very silent, passive, but always kept their head into the lesson and have the knowledge, those who are very silent, off-tasking 24/7, and never care to participate in the class activities either because of the lack of knowledge or felt left behind. I think the existance of the 1st group brings lots of impact to the lesson of this class because they are the ones who received most attention from Mark, overruled the class activities, and the most destractive members of the class. They made the most movements, have the loudest voice, made most comments, and the most rude and snob out of all. They were having literature lesson and was doing activities about Shakespears' romantic and love poems. I would say honestly that their tasks were quite hard even for me, and Mark integrated really high critical thinking skills in his lessons. Brilliant for higher level students with higher ability level.

Reached home around half past 4 that evening. Make myself a dinner, went online for a while before taking my not-so-nap for about 4 hours. Woke up in the middle of the night and went online again, doing some stuff till quite late and continue sleeping.

A day in a student-teacher's practicum life!

Cemburukah Aku?

Kalau korang ikuti blog aku sedari awal, mungkin korang ingat yang aku pernah menulis dengan sangat puitis tentang perasaan aku pada seorang insan ni, "Kisah Helang dan Pipit". Aku tak sedar yang aku menyimpan perasaan pada insan ni buat beberapa tahun walaupun belajar dalam kelas yang sama. Bila aku sedar akan kewujudan perasaan tu, aku akhirnya meluahkan perasaan tu pada dia. Dan, guess what... aku ditolak. T_T sedey jugaklah rasa masa tu. Tapi, kami masih berkawan macam biasa sampai sekarang. Mungkin sebab cara dia tolak aku dengan cara yang sangat terhormat dan dengan baik, maka kami tak ada masalah untuk terus jadi kawan.

Selepas 2tahun berlalu, aku seriously tak pasti whether aku masih ade hati pada dia atau tak. Tapi, satu benda yang pasti, setiap kali dia tegur aku kat skype, atau terserempak dengan die, hati aku pasti berbunga-bunga dan nervous yang maha hebat. Tahun ni, kami dah jarang chatting dan berbual di telefon. Aku andaikan aku dah bersedia untuk move on. Lebih2 lagi, apabila aku dah ada cinta hati yang baru, si dia yang jauh di mata... Tiba2 hari ini, hati aku bagai disentap bila terlihat status skype dia yang ada memberi hint yang dia dah berpunya. Lebih mengejutkan lagi, bila buat pertama kalinya, dia meletakkan gambar perempuan di profile skype-nya. Rasa macam hati ni remuk, berkecai2.

Masalah besar ni! Tak mungkin aku masih ada hati pada dia. Seorang yang takkan mungkin aku miliki. Dan lebih menyakitkan lagi adalah bila aku sedar akan hakikat tu. Apakah aku benar2 sayangkan zainul? Dan adakah dia benar2 cintakan aku? Atau kami hanya menjadikan each other sebagai sandaran untuk mengisi kekosongan hati? Masih ada lagi kah saki baki perasaan aku pada "dia"? Jahatkah aku kalau aku katakan, setelah aku berada dalam relationship dengan zainul for a while, aku rasa macam menyesal menerima cinta zainul? Adakah menerima zainul satu keputusan yang betul? Ada ketikanya aku rasa seperti perasaan aku pada zainul bukanlah cinta tapi sekadar menjadikan peneman aku dikala sunyi.. Atau adakah itu hanyalah sebahagian daripada mainan hati dan semata-mata perasaan ku sahaja?

Wajarkah aku untuk masih menyimpan perasaan aku pada "dia"?

Of Annoyance and Hatred...

In this world, when we think people around us are all grown up and matured enough to be understanding and tolerance, there are people who grew up not in accordance to the natural human developmental stages. It's as if their mental processes do not change and develop from a toddler's cognitive processes.

I haven't write/talk bad about other people for quite sometimes, now. Not that everyone around me is angelic but, their misbehaviours or intolerance didn't exceed my level of patience. Not to the extent that could drive me into writing such negative commentaries about them unlike this one particular individual, that I had been trying to tolerate and trying to create a stronger bond with for quite sometimes. Ever since we got to know each other, she always seemed to have somethings against me. At first, I thought it was just my pessimism, but as time goes by, I realised that there are some parts of me that she just couldnt agree with. So, yeah, fair enough. You can't expect everyone to like you. So, I take it possitively and try to make friend with her as close as possible. Bearing in mind, reminding myself that this friendship might need more time to strengthen.

However, these few weeks had tested my patience towards her. Now, I have come to a point that I just couldn't stand her comments and lame jokes anymore. I was so pissed off to know that she gave a totally unacceptable, lame, idiotic excuses to refuse a job/responsibility for an upcoming big event. And in return, I was the one who being appointed to take over her responsibility. Though, taking the responsibility was not the major problem I have against her, I just couldn't accept her lame excuse to get away from the job. I would be soo happy to state everything clearly as clear as crystal in this post, but i know that many people out there including friends of friends of friends are reading my blog. So, just to be sensitive about any possible outcomes of my commentary about her here, I will just try not to be too clear on every details.

She refused the responsibility given to her because of some ethical and religious issues about accepting the task. When at the same time, she said yes to the same task but of a lesser level of responsibility and importance which totally doesn't make any sense to her excuses at all! Because her lame excuses also apply to us, her other Muslims friends whom accepting the same task as her without much excuses and complaints. Lame, lame LAME!!!!

To make things worst, today, she made a very weird, impolite, statement straight to my face! It was when I voiced out my idea on going for an audition for solo performance on an upcoming event. I already had the idea even before I was given the responsibility. When one of our friends said that he wants to perform in the upcoming event, she asked me whether I still wanted to do a solo performance that night. When my response was positive, she said something like; "Wah! Tak cukup famous ke dengan responsibility yang dorg bagi tu??" That comment was followed by an annoying giggle by her. I wasn't sure whether she was trying to make a lame, totally-unfunny joke or she was being sarcastic there. But, whatever it was, it really made me sick! And she added something like "Takpelah, you ade great voice, can play musical instrument, unlike I." Who in the first place caused me to get that responsibility in replacing that intolerance someone?! YOU! Who is that someone? YOU! Dahlah latihan selalu tak datang... Bengang betul orang macam ni.

Huh! Puas hati aku dapat hembur semua straight from my heart. I don't really like to smear my sweet, happy blog with hatred and painful remarks about someone. But, it does feel good to be able to do that once in a while. Only when I can't hold it much longer and when I have no one to complain to. To you, if you ever read this post of mine, and if you think that it is you and somehow feel offended about what i wrote here, don't you ever mention it in front of me. Because I dont give a damn about it! This is a medium for me to blurt out my inner thoughts and feelings about my surrounding. You should feel honoured to be mentioned and to have a remark in my writing piece.

Makan Dessert Banyak2 Sampai Mabuk (Sugar Rush)

Last Friday, Umsa organised a Dessert Nite at the Knights in Stamford Plaza Hotel. 71 people including the committees attended the event. It was again, a social-officers event. So happy to see satisfaction on everyone's face that night. It was full of awesomeness. The food, place, people, environment. All in all, I would say I was very happy with the flow of the event. It was a very good bargain. $10 for a Dessert Buffet in a hotel! Where can you get such price?? Normal price is $16, okay.

Those who want to complain, shut up, you! Eat my shoes! Not easy to plan on an event while you're being quarantine and had to work on stuff at home. With that much dessert, in such an elegant venue, with such a cheap price, if you got anything to complain on, I will make sure you get one big, nice slap from me, personally! No offence, people. But, if you're offended, do u think I care?? It's just, I was so annoyed with some people, who had so many "cekadak", and simply give out bad comments when they didnt even attend those events! And sometimes, people didnt think before they made any comment. Think about the price, and other factors. If you paid for less than $15 or $20 for an event which the main focus was food, then, dont expect to have a grand ball room or in other word, dont put high expectation on it. You get what you paid for! And for you, who didnt even attend the event(s), dont make judgemental or negative comments based on people's talk.

The Dessert Nite started at 7.45pm and went on up to 10.30pm. But some of us including me, we hang out for a while, chit chatting, making lame jokes, and teasing each others (very Malaysian style, ala2 melepak kat kedai mamak!). We, then, walked down to the harbour. Walking in a very super duper slow pace. We were very hyper, like drunk people maybe because of sugar rush. Excessive consumption of sugar.

Snapped some random pictures... See those 2 jokers?? My friends are weird! I know... Hahaha! But, those are some of the faces that I am gonna miss so much after I left Auckland.. T_T

I got home around half past 12 that night. Really tired. Doze off...

Glamorous, Exclusive, Malaysian Dinner

Stopped updating my blog for a while now. Thank you to friends who care about my health condition last week. Happy to be up and running again now, that I am recovered. I started going back to uni last Tuesday. Missing the first week of uni was really not much of an extension holiday especially, to know that I had a lot to catch up on things. Already recieved so many assignments in hand. *double sigh* I seriously think this sem is very hectic and all the subjects are very tough and challenging. On top of all those academic loads, I have Umsa events to organise, Umsa Ball, AGM, social events, BFM concerts' practices every now and then, and not to forget my practicum. I wonder whether I can survive these last few months in Auckland, in terms of financial, studies, and time management.

Last Wednesday, there was a dinner held by Malaysian Deputy Minister of Plantation and Commodity (I dont think this is the correct tittle coz its not long enough, but I guess the Malay version sounds something like this: Timb. Menteri Perusahaan, Perladangan dan Komoditi, kot!). There were 4 Malaysian assocs in Auckland (Umsa, Umno, Petunia, Mapsa) and each assoc was represented by 5 committees. So, overall, there were 20 assoc reps invited that night. But, I was surprised to see the whole cohort 5 aka my juniors, to be there as well. Then, I was told by someone that they bumped onto one of the deligates earlier that day and was invited along to the dinner. If I wasnt there, I would say it was quite unfair to know that Cohort 5 could attend it but not my cohort. But, who cares. I got the free food, and the VIP table as well. Lol~

One deligate was seated in each table so as to say to mingle around with us. I, initially sat with other Umsa's reps and Afiqah from Petunia. We got this pak cik who was so boring and kept on talking about plantation and forestry. I dont mind if u want to talk about such thing to me but, please project your voice so that other people at the other end of the table could hear every single thing you were saying. Plus, you might need to improve on your lecture giving skill. Gosh! I could die of boredom there.

The appetizer was served. Consists of karipap, satay yang sangat sedap, popiah goreng and kuah kacang yang terbaik! Eating the karipap reminded me of how much I missed Malaysian karipap. I was totally in seven heaven coz the karipap was really2 Malaysian-like-karipap. hahaha... And then, comes the satay and kuah kacang. Honestly, I am not a fan of satay. Not at all. Back in Malaysia, the most I could eat was 5 sticks of satay. But this satay was really awesome, and addictive! But, yeah.. nama pun appetizer. Mana nak dapat banyak2 satay. Sorang secucuk sudey~ T_T

Not long after we finished the appetizer, another pakcik aka deligate (kalau aku bahasakan pak cik tu paham2 je lah yang dorang tu adalah deligates hehe...) came to our table and ask one of us to accompany Datin at the VIP table. I was trying to avoid from being picked. Unfortunately, the pak cik straight away pointed to me and said" hah, you, jom teman datin, jom!" Dalam hati, I was like: "Hah! Teman datin??? Tak cukup peneman ke kat meja vip tu?? Matilah aku.. ape modal aku nak borak dengan datin ni. Hish tak pernah umur la aku dok meja vip ni!" Then, to be professional kan... takkan nak tolak2 kat orang lain, very childish lah kan kalau buat macam tu. So, I just followed him to the vip table. Then, I was happy to know that I was seated in between Naomi and Ikhwan. At least, I know these people. Then, when the datin started to speak to me, I found that she was pretty cool after all. Waaaaayyyy better than the pak cik in my previous table. Then, I realised that I was so lucky to be dragged to this table. The datin was actually a Teslian. But of course, it was like yearsss back then. She said, she was in the first batch of tesl in Malaysia. Wow! My super x10 senior! Lol~ We talked about current issues, Auckland, Shopping, Diners, etc2.
The food! Now, come the best part: the main course. Nasi putih, kari ayam yg sgt banyak portionnye, rendang daging, sayur campur, ikan masak kicap yg sedap dan besar betol! I thought that was all. Then, suddenly, they served mee goreng???!!!! I felt like dying bcos of excessive food in my stomach. haha. And of course, I didnt try the noodles. No regret at all. Seriously. Then the dato siap asked the waitresses to bring white breads to each table so that we can eat the bread with kari. You know, Malaysian style... roti dan kari. hahaha. seriously felt like eating at home. Wuaaaa!! Now, I feel home sick again. The dessert consisted of different types of fruits being served. Me and Naomi checked on their menu and saw the price of each of the dishes. They cost around $20 plus per dish. Wow! That's very satisfying. hahaha... Bila lagi kan nak rasa makan free food mewah like that. Hehe...

Oh, the event started around 8 and finished after 10.30pm. But, we were all there around 7pm, and we chow by half past 10. Luckily, we, Umsa people tumpang Naomi's car. I cant imagine having to walk all the way back with full stomach. And so, that was all about the glam dinner despite of the lengthy but informative speeches by the VIPs.

Under quarantine...

I fell sick few days ago. It started with the losing of my precious voice. I woke 2 days ago, and I realised I had sore throat, and I lost my voice. Yesterday morning, I woke up with a very high fever. My head was spinning, started coughing badly, and still, my voice hadnt recovered yet. Since it was the first lectures' day for this sem (I dont have any lecture on Monday, so my lectures all start on Tues), I was so eager to attend all the classes despite of my high fever, and terrible cough. Had to bear 2 hours of lecture with a very heavy head. That 2-hours lecture finished at 6pm, and I didnt go back straight away. I decided to stay in uni until Jun Bin came to fetch me to the practice at 7 something. Yeah, I still went to the dance practice with the fever and stuff. Very stubborn am I not? After few rounds of cha cha, I could feel my body temperature rising and my head started to spin. But, I decided to careless about it and continue with the practice.

I got home at around 10pm. I was thinking of staying up for few more hours but, since I could not take it any longer, I went to bed quite early last night. I found it really hard to sleep because my body was aching, I could not stop coughing, my head and lungs were aching too. I didnt realise what time i fell asleep. But then, around 4am, I had stomach problem. I was having diarrhoea at 4am! Kept going in and out of the toilet for few times before I could go back to sleep. I was really hoping that I would get better this morning because I have most of my classes today. But dissapointedly, my condition was getting worst with my temperature even higher than yesterday. Could not help it. Had to escape the first class this morning. But I have stall duty from 1-2pm. If I cannot be there, I had to find someone to replace or swap with me. It was a very short notice. Who wants to swap with me with such a short notice? So, with all the strenght I had this morning, with a very bad headache, I walked to uni. When I was finally there at uni, I received a text from Naomi saying that I dont need to be at the stall because they are closing the stall early today.

So, I went to uni's health centre instead. I was thinking of making an appointment (we have to make an appointment first before seeing the doctor, or else we might have to wait forever there), but as soon as I got there, the receptionist who saw my condition, without asking whether I have flu or cold symptoms, straight away gave me a mask and asked me to wait at one corner of the room. That area was fulled of people wearing masks just like me. In front of that corner, there was a signboard saying: "People with flu or cold symptoms, please wait here."

Though I wasnt the first to arrive there, I was the first to be called in by the doctor. However, this time I was asked to go into a different room than any other rooms I have been to in the health centre. There was a special room by the side of the waiting corner. When I looked inside, I saw a chair covered with papers. Before I was asked to go inside, the nurse wore her own mask, gloves, and a plastic coat to cover her clothes. Then I was asked to sit on the covered chair. Later, I was asked to wear the gloves that they provided. After all those procedures, the nurse took my body temperature which she was quite shocked to see that it was very high. She gave me 2 tablets of paracetamol and asked me to wait for another half an hour for the doctor to come and check me. She checked inside my throat and said my tonsils were very big because they were sweeling. Check my lungs and said that they were clear. Asked so many questions and finally she said that I had 50% chances of having swine flu. However, I dont have to worry because it shouldnt be that serious because I wasnt directly exposed to it. If that was the case, then it could kill me. But, my condition was ok. So, all I have to do now is to quarantine myself and be at least 1 metre from other people so that I wont spread the flu to them. I was also told not to take off the mask all the way back home.

I ended up feeling like being under the spotlight. With every eyes looking at me. I could not help feeling annoyed at them. They must be thinking that this girl must have swine flu and we should walk away from her! You should be thankful that I put my humanity first instead of my pride! I could just walk freely without the mask. As if they would know that I might have the flu. And I could easily spread the virus to you guys, then. Lol! So, yeah, my fellow friends... don't bother coming to visit me or be near me for these couple of days. Not until I started going back to lectures! You dont want to catch the flu from me, dont you?

Masuk meminang??? @_@!

Semalam berbual panjang dengan dia.
Tiba-tiba, it was like out of nowhere...
keluar bab meminang and hantaran.
Aku terus tergamam and speechless. Like seriously speechless coz I never thought that topic would come out this soon. And its from him....gosh!

He said something about waiting for me to come back to Msia soon so that he could masuk meminang.

Then, I was totally dumbstruck! I seriously didnt know how to react to that expression. I was silent for a while then I laughed... and it was continued with an awkward silent.

Then we talked about travelling and how I wanted to go to OZ this year but because of my financial status, I decided to plan a trip from Msia some other time. He agreed and told me I could go with my family instead. I added yeah, and with you..maybe??? Then, his response again, surprised me to a near-death experience. Lol! He said that it would be a long way to go before he could afford to go there with me. Because for now he needs to save money untuk masuk meminang... hantaran lagi... banyak nak guna duit tu..

Adoi! I have to admit I was very shocked but really glad and happy to know that he is serious about this relationship...but..... . . . . nah~ I dont know. I am just really glad to have him now. Suddenly I felt like Chandler in Friends. Why? I would like to keep that to myself... maybe those who watched Friends till the end will understand why.

Hari yang sangat panjang.
Badan terasa sangat penat.
Sem belum mula, tapi kerja dah mula menimbun tak tahu mana perlu dimulakan dahulu.
Banyak untuk diceritakan tentang hari ini.

Barangkali... lain hari sahaja.

Mata sangat berat.
Katil seakan memanggil-manggil.
Lupakanlah dahulu kerja-kerja yang masih berbaki itu.
Esok sahaja dipulun.

Oh, tidaaaaaakkk!!!

Esok bakal menjadi hari yang sangat panjang juga.
Mahu bangun lewat meraikan hari terakhir cuti semester.
Tapi, ah..lupakan!
Kerja-kerja sangat banyak perlu disiapkan.
Tak mungkin bisa bangun lewat.

Open Homes??
Jelak sudah melayan tetamu2 asing yang tidak diundang itu.
Oh, esok otot-otot badanku akan dikerah menari.
Nampaknya, lusa, badan-badanku akan sakit2 semua.

Tak mengapa...
Kan boleh tidur sebentar dan berehat2 selepas latihan.
Eeh.. Lupakah?
Kan kerja masih ada yang belum selesai...
Allan...?
Macam pernah ku dengar nama itu.
Siapakah itu?
Alamak! Partner aku lah!
Lupakanlah impian untuk berehat2 selepas latihan.
Kan ada meeting dengan Allan.

Hmm...
Tak sabar nak balik Malaysia.
Ingin ketemu dia.
Juga keluarga tercinta.
Tapi..
Sedih juga tak terhingga.
Kawan2 disini, entah bila boleh berjumpa lagi.
Itulah yang dikatakan, bertemu berpisah kerana Allah.

Memang takkan pernah manusia boleh berehat sepuas2nya.
Kerana takkan pernah terluah perkataan puas itu.
Hanya bila degup jantung terhenti, hah, berehatlah semahunya.

Music & Lyrics, Lagu & Irama

Hari ini seperti kebiasaannya, aku ada latihan BFM. Sepatutnya, setiap Rabu, Jumaat & Ahad adalah sesi latihan vocal untuk aku, Boon, & Diana. Tapi, hari ini tak seperti selalu. Drums set at one corner of the music room had been removed to another room. Untuk memberi ruang kepada lebih ramai orang yang akan hadir pada hari ini, kata Bin. Seorang demi seorang melangkah masuk ke bilik muzik. Ada wajah-wajah baru nampaknya.... Gerald, Joseph, Kai Ann, & err..mmm..aaa.. alamak! Lupa sudey nama mamat seorang ni. Tapi aku sure namanya start with an S. Ish! Takpe, akan aku ingati semula. Buat masa ini, biarlah kita gelarkan dia Mr. S. Everyone is very friendly. And I am super happy to get to know many new faces.

Setiap orang yang berdiri di dalam bilik tu punya bakat dan kelebihan tersendiri. Aku tiba-tiba terasa sangat kecil sekali berada dikalangan mereka-mereka yang sungguh hebat dalam dunia muzik ini. Pernah aku tonton drama di tv tentang kolej/sekolah2 muzik yang pelajar2nya hanya belajar tentang muzik, dan seni pementasan seperti S Club 7 masa zaman muda remaja ku dulu. And I felt exactly like being in a music school. Macam-macam term music aku dengar...which kebanyakannya aku tak berapa nak paham. Contohnya, bar (aku selalu dengar, tapi aku actually dont really know the actual meaning of it), mm..dan lagi apa eh... entah tak ingat dah.

Jun Bin - tuan director yang sangat berbakat, mengkompilasi dan menggubah lagu, menulis lirik, mengstruktur susun atur lagu dan music, bermain piano, keyboard, guitar, etc. (semua benda pun lah dia ni boleh main. Memang double tabik spring aku bagi kat dia!)

Mr. S - guitarist; specialty in acoustic guitar.. sgt hebat guitar skillnya

Kai Ann - Pianist/keyboardist; walaupun tak sehebat pianist yang satu lagi, tapi aku kategorikan sebagai hebat juga (aku sangat mengagumi orang2 yang boleh bermain piano kerana jari2ku sangat kaku bila dikerah menari di atas piano)

Joseph - Oh, Pianist yang sangat hebat! Kasi je dia dengar apa2 lagu, pasti dia boleh mencari note2 nya. Aku petik je gitar main sembarangan pun dia boleh terus join dengan piano. Pergh..mantap! Civil Engineer tu... Daya pendengaran dia aku umpamakan seperti kucing! Pantas je dapat tangkap kalau orang nyanyi salah key, main salah beat, guitar out of tune... Kagum sungguh!

Ah Boon - Bassist & one of the singers/actor; see betapa berbakatnya. Dah main bass, nyanyi pula, berlakon lagi! Jari2 dia bermain bass tu aku tengok ala2 main gitar hero pun ada. Hahaha! Oh, nama gitar dia ialah Cherry. Hehe, ada bunga rose di guitar strap nya.

Diana - Singer/actress - Suara Diana ni sangat merdu. Typical chinese's voice. Very soft and sweet. Sangat suka dengar dia nyanyi. Paling suka dengar dia & Gerald nyanyi lagu "Beautiful". Very the beautiful.. seperti di awang-awangan je. Kalau tak silap aku, dia ni pun salah seorang pelakon utama.

Gerald - Singer/main actor - Suara dia ni memang kaw2! Last year pun dia jadi main charac juga. Dia memang sangat hebat berlakon dan menyanyi. Dia sangat sesuai join theater musical. Oh, kalau tak silap aku, dia ni satu uni dengan aku.

Meng Meng - Dia hadir hari ni sebab menemani aweknya, Diana. Tapi, jangan main2. He is in the Kung Fu team. Ada babak kung fu dalam theater ni. So, dia adalah salah seorang pahlawan la senang kata. Hehehe.

Last but not least,

Atie - Singer/Actress - Watakku taklah penting pun. Tapi agak penting juga kerana aku adalah Ketua Kampung! Hehehe... Suaraku.. hmm tak tahulah nak komen macam mana. Tapi, jujur aku rasa suara aku ni sebenarnya biasa saja. Dan aku tak rasa pun aku layak menyanyi untuk theater ni. Tapi, dah Jun Bin beri kepercayaan tu pada aku. Aku berbesar hati menerimanya.

Aku selalu nyanyi salah key. Aku memang boleh main gitar. Selalunya orang akan kaitkan boleh main instrument=no problem bila tang key. Hmm...silap tu! Aku memang sangat sengal bab2 key ni. Oh, for your information, today is the first day, our singing practice diiringi band. So, aku rasa agak kekok sedikit. Asik salah je nyanyi lagu Eco Living. Bengang jugak sebenarnya. Should do better than that!

Yeah, almost forgot! Pagi tadi, Allan and I had our social officers meeting in Level 2 Kate Edgar. Disscussed about venue for Dessert Night. Very short notice. We didnt even know that the event is under us until yesterday when Naomi texted me about it. Fuh~ pretty hard to find a suitable place. But at least I already received replies from 2 of the venues. They both are pretty good. And after that Umsa committees went to Crowne Plaza Hotel to view the ball room's venue. I was in charge of the Deco. Lots of work in deco team. I know... but happy to be in the deco team actually. At least I am working with close friends whom I already know their potentials. Yeah, basically had some good ideas and rough pictures of the decorations for the venue.

So, that's all about my life today. Every bits and pieces, music and lyrics, lagu dan irama of my today's life.

Another BFM practice ft. Kung Fu tycos~

Jun Bin let me rest for few days..which was good! Haha! Though I like attending all these practices, I really appreciate the break given. Honestly, I didn't really felt tired during the practices, but wait till the next day... sakit here and there! Tulah, sape suruh tak rajin exercise?!

So after almost a week of no practice, I had another Eco Living dance practice today and few rounds of my Battle song. Just to polish the last part of the song, which I am supposed to sort of scream to the top of my lung. The key was quite high. But, I used to sing higher than that, so I know that there is no reason for me to not be able to sing it properly. Shame on me then! Lol! Okay, overall, I was quite satisfied with today's practice. It's just, I was quite worried on the Eco Living song coz for me that is the hardest song. I found it quite hard to keep on changing my key, and practicing at home while listening to the recorded version of the song wasn't really much of a help honestly. Coz, listening to Bin's voice was quite different than listening to the piano. Duh~ like obviously... it's a guy's voice maa..

And also, Richard, as always... very funny. One funny guy that one. Kept on plying with his handphone. I know Jun Bin was a bit pissed off with that attitude. Not to mention the outbreak news about the clash of BFM time with the 3 amois' exam. I am sure it would break Jun Bin's heart if any of them pull out. It's tough enough to find people who can committed to this, what else to find a replacement half way through..

I waited there to watch the Kung Fu practice since I was going back with them all. Not a big deal. It was fun watching them. Lots of awesome moves and hilarious actions. They all were very good. Very impressive! Like to watch Tuan's moves. Realy otai one! Here I managed to snapped some pictures of them practicing their moves. Lots of poking, whacking and stick-spinning movements!

I only realised how tired I am when I reached home. Home sweet home! And also the grumbling of my stomach asking to be filled. Tried to call him again... buat kesekian kalinya... marah betul! Suruh call, bila call, tak jawab pula! Huh! Nasib baik sayang...

15 Weeks Before Bye2 Auckland....

Bila Sheryll ingatkan aku yang kami hanya ada lebih kurang 12 minggu di Auckland, aku terasa sedih pula nak tinggalkan bumi Auckland. Walaupun tidak dinafikan yang aku memang sangat rindu pada KL, and all the malls, kedai mamak, and all the food, tapi bila mengenangkan aku terpaksa berada di IPBA untuk lagi setahun, aku rasa tak rela nak balik Malaysia. Lebih-lebih lagi balik IPBA juga bererti tahun terakhir aku sebagai pelajar dan juga beerti aku akan mulakan praktikal sebagai cikgu... Huh! Rasa macam belum cukup bersedia lagi.

Tapi, sejak akhir-akhir ni, dispite of all those feelings, Enul membuatkan aku rasa tak sabar nak balik Malaysia. Terutama sekali untuk balik IPBA. Tapi, itu hanyalah semata-mata kerana kami tak sabar nak ketemu each other. Bukan juga kerana aku rindukan IPBA. Though, I do miss Ib, Cam, and my other friends. Zainul belajar kat Seremban. So, from Seremban to KL, bak kata dia, sekangkang kera je. Tak macam Seremban ke Auckland. Lol!

Hari ni, aku cuba call dia lagi. Dan dia jawab call aku dengan suara yang sangat comel dan seksi. Hahaha.. Suara orang bangun tidur yang paling comel pernah aku dengar..... *_*

Berubah wajah lagi

Hari tu aku ada bilang nak main tukar-tukar template blog aku. Aku dah save beberapa templates yang dah pun aku edit coding nya awal-awal masa aku rajin hari tu. Tinggal nak upload je kat blog aku ni. Tapi, kenapa lama sangat aku ambil masa untuk blog aku bertukar rupa daripada girly, pinky blog kepada rupa2 yang lain? Sebab, tiba-tiba..aku rasa sayang sangatlah pula nak tukar template yang endah itu... wuaa T_T

Babai my pinky (kad kahwin) blog.... Sangat sayang template tu because (as Intan said) it was soooooo ATIE!

Tapi, hari ni, tiba2 je rasa nak bertukar angin pula. Lalu, aku pilih je mana2 template yang aku dah save kat komputer aku ni. Randomly picked. Bila dah selamat bertukar rupa, rasa macam taknak pulak. Aku tak sukalah temlate ni. Very the pening pale otak! Walaupun tak banyak sangat bermain dengan warna, tetapi aku kurang gemar kedudukan, dan rupa post-post aku. Kelihatan sungguh serabut sekali. Kalau template pink yang sebelum ni, walaupun warnanya pink... tapi masih nampak kekemasan dan ketenangan pada blog ku. Mungkin kerana content wrapper nya yang lebih besar dari template yang aku gunakan sekarang.

Oh ya, tadi, keluar dinner dengan Ian. Turut hadir ialah Anep, Shidee dan Kauthar. Oh, lama betul kami duduk berborak sambil makan. Beberapa hari sejak kebelakangan ni termasuklah hari ni, aku rasa seperti suhu Auckland sungguh luar biasa rendahnya. Hahaha... selalunya, walaupun winter, aku masih bisa berjalan-jalan di luar dengan hanya memakai selipar flip flop ku (bukan kerana panas, tetapi badan ku dah terbiasa dengan suhu begitu, mungkin juga kerana excessive fat yang berfungsi sebagai penebat haba), dan sweater nipis, kegemaranku. Tetapi beberapa hari ni, aku rasa kaki dan tangan ku seperti mampu membeku bak berada di dalam freezer. Jari-jari tangan dan kaki kebas dan hampir cramp juga. Mungkin berada dalam transition phase dari winter ke spring. Ye..mungkin juga. Kerana selalunya, cuaca dan suhu Auckland akan menjadi extreme apabila transition dari satu musim ke satu musim.

Risau... masih gagal menghubunginya. Dia balik Melaka seorang diri dengan motor dari Pahang. Perjalanan ambil masa 5 jam. Sepatutnya, dia minta aku call dia pukul 10/11 malam Sabtu, tapi sudah aku cuba berkali-kali, masih gagal juga. Dan hari ini, sepanjang hari aku cuba menghubungi dia, masih sepi lagi........

Ada Apa dengan Dia dan Cinta?

Apa yang ada pada dia?
Ternyata tiada apa-apa. Cuma lelaki biasa yang punya kelebihan dan kekurangan tersendiri.
Tapi pada kelebihan dan kekurangannya itulah, yang berjaya melembutkan hati dan naluri ini.
Orangnya yang sangat bersederhana, merendah diri bukan beerti rendahnya nilai diri, tapi tingginya peribadi.
Halus budi bahasa, juga lembut tutur bicara... menundukkan diri ini dengan rasa kasih dan hormat padanya. Punya ketegasan dan kepimpinan tersendiri yang tak perlukan suara lantang seorang lelaki.

Apa ada pada cinta?
Banyak yang ada pada cinta. Banyak juga cabang cinta. Apatah lagi jenis-jenis cinta.
Tapi, apa yang ada pada cintanya? Jangan tanya lagi soalan tu sekarang. Boleh tak? Masih baru jalan yang dilalui untuk menjawab persoalan-persoalan seperti itu.

Yang pasti,
kerana dia dan cinta..
cintaku, cintanya... ???
kami cuba memahami dan menyesuaikan diri dengan perbezaan dan jurang yang ada antara kami.
Dan semestinya, bercinta tatkala hidup di dua benua berbeza, banyak kelebihan dan kekurangannya.

Bengap jugak Omputeh ni Kadang2

As I am writing this blog, I am watching the Erin Simpson show. Today's guest is Chang Hung. So, let me continue the rest of this in Malay in order for me to effectively criticise them all. Macam biasa, Erin akan suruh guest masak makanan kegemaran guest tu, So, si Chang ni, die kata die suke makan mi segera, namely "Indo Mee"-Mee Goreng! Ye mee goreng ye kawan2.. Itu lah yang tertulis di paket instant noodle yg si Chang masak. Kebetulan Mee goreng Indo Mee tu adelah kegemaranku dari dulu hingga kini. Kat sini harga sepeket lbh kurang 90sen. Erin cuba cari ingredients instant noodles tu dari packet indo mee tu...tapi xjumpa. Mungkin sebab takde bahasa inggeris nye atau mata die rabun. Chang lak, gi masak mee yang sepatutnya jadi mee goreng segera jadi mee KUAH segera. Dia buat ala2 masak Maggi mee ayam lak. Eyew... mana sedap penah try dah. X umph langsung.

Lagi satu insiden yang sgt juge kelakarnye... satu hari tu kami menonton tv dan adelah satu iklan sos tiram ditayang kat tv. Sekali dengar mat salleh tu bebel memang tak sedar langsung nama brand tu sbnrnya sgt familiar... tapi bl tengok iklan tu masing2 gelak nak pecah perut. Dorang promote "Ayam Brand" Oyster Sauce! Bayangkan lah camne dorang menyebut perkataan "AYAM" tu. Kalaulah mat salleh ni tau "AYAM" tu sebenarnya CHICKEN, mesti die menyumpah seranah. Lol! Dorang kat cni pun ade Mee Maggi. Tapi, dorang tak sebut macam kite sebut. Maggi dorang kat cni disebut /meji/. Hahahhaa kelakar juge.

Bosan tapi Lega...

Sangat bosan duduk dirumah sepanjang dua hari ni tanpa sebarang aktiviti dan latihan BFM. Tapi, pada masa yang sama, sangat lega, dan menghargai break yang diberikan oleh Big Boss-Ah Bin. Tak sedar langsung betapa penatnya badan dan otot2 di badanku masa balik dari latihan BFM Selasa lepas. Bangun pagi keesokan harinya baru aku sedar betapa otot2 dikaki ku sakit yang amat sangat.... Dan esok, bermula semula latihan2 BFM ku yang sangat menarik dan undoubtedly memenatkan..*sigh* Jumaat, Sabtu, Ahad, tiga hari berturut-turut ada latihan BFM. I believe it's getting harder and harder now that we have come to the dancing part.

This morning, I was awaken by the screaming of my phone's ringtone. Benci betul! Was having a very weird and interesting sweet dream. I answered the phone with reluctance, trying to sound as fresh and awaken as possible (tho I know it was totally useless), heard a familiar, female kiwi's voice on the other end which I couldnt understand sepatah haram she was babbling about, but trying to be polite, I just answered with a very friendly kind of way. Guess who?! My "sayang2" property manager-Angie! I was pretty shocked to receive her call coz the only reason she had for calling me so far was regarding my overdue house rent. So the first thing that popped out of my head was..damn it.. I just paid for 4 weeks in advance few days ago. I guess, my voice was too transparent that she could read my voice! She abruptly changed her tone of voice to a very friendly tone telling me the real intention of her call regarding the up coming Open Homes that Cambridge is having these weekends. Open HOmes??!!! O_0 whatever is that???

She said, the building will be handed over to a different land lord and so, there will be a viewing from 11.45am to 12.15pm these weekends; Sat and Sunday. I was like..heh? Does that mean I have to move out now??? Then she reaffirmed me that it has nothing to do with the tenants. So, basically... all I will be expecting these weekends is some random people coming knocking on my door, coming into my house, checking things and yeah that should be all about it! And following Angie's call, were some... yes SOME (with capital letters) calls made by unfamiliar property agents asking about my rental price per weak, and some stuff. So... in other word, no chance of me getting back to sleep. Urgh!! Very irritating..annoying, people! And after those calls, I jumped into my seat and started surfing the net and playing Farm Town! Yay! Booooorriiiiing!

Now that the status is official...

Two days ago, I was on the phone with him. After a very long "silent treatment". Lol! No! Actually there was a bit of misunderstanding between the two of us. I misunderstood his silent as a hint of rejection, but the truth was that his phone/internet line was cut off. It was his aunt's house, so he cant do anything about it. And so, we didnt contact each other for quite some times. While talking to him on the phone two days ago, I realised how I missed this guy! A LOT! We talked for almost an hour..jumping from one topic to another. Thanks to the stupid Super Buzz line! Suke2 hati je nk mati anytime and redial anytime without notice! Damn it! We both felt the awkwardness of the moment..suddenly we felt like talking to a total stranger... Sekejap I, U, saya, awak... and felt a bit shy to "bersayang2"... hehehe. But, I think the silent treatment did work on its charm! He, for the first time, said "the L word"! For the first time he said "I LOVE YOU".... Though it was very soft, and subtle... I managed to persuade him to repeat it back. And the second time, it was so clear that I smile all the way to my dreamland........

However, after waking up the next morning, it was all just like a dream. I wasnt convince on what he said. But, decided to leave it there and not taking it seriously. But today, he said it again. And this time, without hesitation, very convincing, full of confidence, he said it 2/3 times to me before we hung up..... Yeeeehaaa!!! Hatiku berbunga2! He always said "cepatlah balik Malaysia..." which somehow made me forget about the sadness of leaving Auckland! Now I have another good reason to be looking forward to go back to Malaysia. I liked it when he started planning on what, where, when, how, etc2 we are goin to do when I am finally back in Malaysia. He said, Malacca and KL is just "sekangkang kera". Nak jumpa hari2 pun boleh... which I highly doubt...of course! Well, now I guess.. I am officially in a relationship! "Sayang you soooo much! Muah, muah,muah,muah,muah....!"(Phrase we used before ending our conversation)

Transformers & BFM practice...

Me and a bunch of BFM friends namely Jun Bin (d tyco), Jun Yan, Vim, Allan, (which Bin called "Vimallan" hahahaha) and Tuan went to watch transformers in IMAX Queens st this afternoon. We watched the 3pm one and finished around 5 sth. It was already dark by that time. Luckily and unluckily I am having period now. So, I dont have to worry about catching my prayer time and the down fall of it was that it was really2 damn heavily flowing... really uncomfortable to walk in that situation! Hate it. But the movie was awesome..the graphics, sound effect, especially the fighting and shooting parts. Optimus Prime was super strong ang macho this time around. Lol! Luckily it was a robot if not, I would definitely had a crush on him! hahaha!

Jun Bin said he would pick me up at 7.15pm, so I wont have time to cook my dinner. I decided to tapao kebab on the way home. While walking, (oh, forgot to mention, Vim, Allan and Tuan are walking in the same direction as me) Tuan kept on complaining to me about his loose pants. He said he might have lost some weight. So I quoted a line from the transformers, but altered it a bit to suit the conversation..duh~; "I'll give you some of my parts.." Then, Tuan gave me almost the same answer Optimus Prime gave but it turned out this way: "I'll have the WEIGHT I never knew/imagined before!" Tuan jahat!!!! But yeah, it was so funny... he always likes to tease people especially girls that he knows. Very naughty2 Tuan. Hahahaha!

Didnt even got the time to lie down for a while... received a text from Jun Bin saying he was on his way to pick me up. I rushed to give some touch up here and there before going out. Tonight practice was divided into 2 teams-Kung Fu and Eco Living's dance. With my heavy flow condition, I felt really2 tired and uncomfortable to move that much. But, have to. So we learned most of the moves and kept on repeating over and over again. And we wrapped up tonight practice with Cha Cha just to refresh back our memory. Oh, and Arthur who was my Cha Cha partner might pull out from BFM for some reasons. But Jun Bin is still trying to persuade him.

I reached home about half past 10pm and forcing myself to update my blog. Am thinking of calling Enul tonight. Rindu sudey!!!!

Cha Cha Ballroom Dance & Ulala~

This afternoon I had another session of BFM practice. But this time, it was the Ulala~ team practice...which means I'd be meeting new faces this time around. Initially, Jun Bin was planning to have only 3 pairs of dances for cha cha but, the more the merrier! So, we are expecting more pairs next week. My new friends are Chelsea and Chin Ann from the Aucklang Grammar School, Arthur, an engineer, and Richard, a medical student. The cha cha balroom dance was soo sweet and fun. I had lotsa fun during this practice coz it is less pressure and stressful unlike the battle and eco living practices. Like duh~ we just have to sing Ulala again and again and again.. And as I thought I had to sing the highest note of ulala... agak dah...hahahhaa! Arthur and Chin Ann r singing the base, Chelsea and Richard r singing the melody, me and KS r goin to sing the highest note. Durig the cha cha practice today, I was paired with Arthur who can dance really well. I was very comfortable dancing with him. Ala2 ade chemistry gitew~ Lol! Richard paired with Chin Ann, and Jun Bin with Chelsea. It was fun. Except for the part where I got my first day of period during the practice and not to mention the pain and stomach cramp which I had to bear with for the whole of the practice! Nasib baik tak bocor! Lolololol!

I called Ibu just now (my weekly, routine home call) only to be told by Izzah that Ibu was admitted to the specialist hospital since Wednesday and was out yesterday. Nobody told me anything! But I understand, they just dont want me to get worried. I am so worried of Ibu's condition. She has been sick for quite sometimes. Always on and off. I am so worried coz I am far away, and there is no one that they could rely on. Before this when I was around, I was the one who will drive my siblings to n from schools, do the house chores, send Ibu to hospital and back again. But luckily ibu and Izzah are staying in the hostel now. At least, they can rely on those students and the wardens there. I pray they are safe and ibu will get well soon.

Cutiku Diisi Dgn Aktiviti Berfaedah..Akhirnyaaa

Yesterday's singing practice was held in Fiona's house. She n her family was in China now and they leave the house to Bin so that he could check their house once a while... A very good future son-in-law heh?.... hehe sory Bin! OMG! Rumah Fiona memang damn big! But it was night and the house was surrounded by big trees so I cant really see the house from outside. But the inside.. wallaweh.. giler besar.. I somehow felt grateful to make friends with these people.. expanding the circle of friends they call it? hmm watever. I got to meet new people and involved in BFM thingy.. that's a one in a lifetime opportunity. And also, I have always wanted to be in the local houses and Fiona's was 1 awesome sample! Just like houses dalam drama tv. lots of rooms, the walls are all covered with wallpapers, really elegant looking. In one of those rooms was the music room. There's a piano, a keyboard, a drums set, guitars n amps! Gosh... rindu giler men drum. Felt really awkward bila pegang d drum sticks. Me and Bin jam a while before Boon came. Then the 3 of us start jamming random chords lol! Til Fiona n meng meng arrived. Then, there goes our almost-2hours singing practice. I think I did better this time than the 1st practice.

This afternoon, the Deco team had our first meeting (tho only 4 of us turned up). So hard to find a spot to discuss since it is still uni break and most places were closed. After discussing about 2hours, we finally came to our conclusion and got our budget and quotes listed down! That's great! Now, we are looking forward to viewing the Ball venue, and presenting our proposal on the decos... Till then, we are done for now. As I m writing this, I just got back from discussion+price-survey+dinner in Ayuthaya. Pretty tired... Tomorrow, I have another practice session in the afternoon with more people this time... looking forward to tomorrow practice.

Letting go the Burden

Last night, while I was editing my blog templates, KS texted me saying he was in Hulu Cat wit Allan n d gang. So I askd em to make a space for me. Lol..Hulu Cat is just opposite my house! Meet em there, drink milk tea n hve a very long chat wit em guys n lots n lots of giggles n laughters.. wit those jokers around..who wont laugh that much??? They suddenly came out wit an idea of visiting Ipin in TRC. They ajak me as well. But of course i felt a bit uneasy coz id be d only girl! Duh~bukan tak biasa.. just xsedap la kan.. it was soo late dy. But they said just for a while not gonna lepak there long. And Allan dy texted Ipin n he said no problem just come over. So I ended up followin em to Ipin's house. Got there.. and I straight away grabbed those drum sticks n we all memekak2 played guitar hero.. gosh! That was my first time playin gtr hero... No doubt it was so damn addictive! Got home around half past 2am and was so exhausted..

I was planning to wake up early this morning and meet Sheryl in the Fisher Bldg to collect her Famine's pledge money. But I was too tired to wake up early and so I met Sheryl around 2pm instead. We had some chat while walking. She insisted to walk me to the gen library. So, yeah.. our conversations ended there with me heading to the library and her back to the Fisher. I finally returned the overdue books and printed out my songs lyrics for tonight's BFM practice. I had my first singing practice last Wednesday which I would say I d done pretty badly then. I kept on singin the wrong key, probs with my pitch, breathing probs-damn just realised how unfit i ve become now! I seriously need a good and serious vocal training.... or else I will embarrass myself on the stage.

I jumped on the free bus to Queen St and went from one Money Exchange counter to another just to change my IDR to NZD. I had IDR 1,275k with me since early this year coz I visited Jakarta before coming back to NZ. In return, I got almost 200bucks for it. With that money, I paid my ANZ credit card's debt, and closed all my accounts with ANZ since I wont be using them anymore this year. It was just a burden to me. The only reason why I opened an account with ANZ in d first place was because I wanted to keep my salaries in there last year. So since I am no more working this year, and ANZ doesnt have any branch in the uni-which is soo much troublesome for me to go down Queen st only to go to ANZ, I would rather close those accounts. Gosh! It was a great relief to have paid my debt... Now, I dont have to worry about it anymore. And since I was so happy and I havent ate anything at all since I woke up, I treated myself with yummy food from Tequila.

Went home, and now here I am staring at my laptop, while practicing my singing very BADLY and waiting for 7.15pm to come. Jun Bin will come pick me up to Fiona's place for tonight's practice session.. Really hope I ll do better this time.

Blog ku Berwajah Baru

Thanks to Intan.. hahahha!

Bosan dah aku ngadap templates yg ade kat blogspot ni. And nasib baik gak last year ade amik paper Compsci, at least paham lah gak CSS and XML codes yg ade tuh... wpun it's undoubtedly berjaya membuatkan aku stress and menyumpah seranah sepanjang aku mengedit template blog ni.

However, if you guys realise there is a section called "Friends' Blogs" which supposed to be specifically for a list of friends' blogs. The section is still there which means I managed to keep that stupid widget in the sidebar. However, all the contents of the widget..*poosh* disappeared! Damn it! Now I have to gather all their blogs agaaaaiiin.... *sigh* (-_-")

And not to mention..my face is there???!!!! What the heck?! Mamposlah..tak kuasa I nak layan, you! Biaq pi lah mcm tu.

Kang beberapa hari lagi, korang akan tengok blog ku berwajah baru lagi.. hahaha saje nk mengshow off kan templates2 yang endah2 and awesome2 hahahaha....

Kahwin (shud i put a fullstop, question mark, exclamation mark or dot dot dot after it)

Masa muda2.. sekarang pun muda lagi hehe, tapi masa zaman sekolah dolu2 selalu je rasa pelik bila tengok drama kat tv yang wataknya rimas bila keluarga tanya bila nak kahwin. Pelik sebab rasa soalan tu soalan biasa dan tak pernah pulak terbayang aku akan berada dalam situasi tu bila dah makin meningkat dewasa. Isu ni pernah aku bangkitkan dalam post yang lepas2 di awal2 tahun hari tu. Dan kini berbangkit lagi... *sigh*

Few days ago, I was chatting with my best friend-normal topic: hot gossip! Then, we discussed about friends who just broke up, being cheated on, engaged, and got married, even those who already have babies and kiddos. Relationship issue is a never ending issue to be discussed upon at these days of this stage of life! Getting tired of it but it's just so irresistable (I now have no doubt on what Erikson stated in his Stages of Psychosocial's Theory).

One of my ex-classmate just got engaged and she looked so pretty in her engagement dress. I am so jealous. Not to mention the ever increasing names on the just-married list. Damn! Whatever's goin to happen to me? --my normal self-reflecting question. It's really hard to find a good guy with good qualities nowadays. There's more to our conversation that day than just about relationship but, that particular topic is not to be disclosed here (rated 18SX lol...). Ooohhh! Almost forgot to mention about my crush's brother who havent finished his study yet just got married! (His bro is one handsome bloke but somehow I ended up having crush on him instead!)

See! The list just keep goin on and on. Me?! "Calon pun tarak!"

It's not easy u know.. to express everything. Especially to u. I hate u but somehow I do think that I love u. I wanna be mad at u, but when u're there, I just couldnt blurt out d madness. I was so frustrated that I felt like crying and shouting at u so that u know and realise that your feeling is not the only thing that matter here! Care about mine as well, would you???

It's not about who bored who, or who is d boring one. It's about being tolerance and understanding. We r lacked of those. I know, but u dont. All that u know is me being ignorance, and u being disappointed. How about turning the table the other way around?

I have been trying to be as reasonable as possible. Sometimes.. NO! Most of the times, I felt that you're taking me for granted. Taking my patience and love for granted. Don't, coz I might not still be waiting for u tomorrow.

Indeed, at this point when Im writing this, I feel like my feelings toward you are starting to erode slowly piece by piece. You took me for granted... I am not gonna wait for you any longer. I am so tired of this. Not of you, but of your attitude!

Nandos & Movie to celebrate d Shortest Day of the Year!

Yesterday was the shortest day of the year. It was the middle of winter and the day is way shoerter than the night compared to any other days. Of course, I didnt realise the different.. duh~. Me, Intan & Mira met up at Nandos at 8pm (of course it was already dark since Isya' came at 6 something), we ate a lot! I met my former colleagues- Lee and the Indian guy..forgot his name. Suddenly I realised how I missed em haha. The Indian bai put extra sauce on my chicken which was awesome..lol! I ordered Half chicken Combo with spicy rice as the side + a Jumbo Peri2 chips- treat us girls haha.. I think Intan had BBQ ribs Combo with upgraded large spicy rice as the side, and Mira had Half Chicken (not combo mind you, coz they unfortunately running out of spicy rice... and disappointed Mira.)

We finished eating around 10mins to 9. Then we walked across the street to the cinema. We sticked to our previous decision to watch "The land of the lost world"(I think that's the title.. LOL). All the way lining up to the counter, we'd been complaining how the cinemas here in NZ dont sell caramel pop corn(only the salt and butter which was sooo eyew, tasteless!) while discussing what snacks we wanted to buy. We made up our mind to buy 1 large salt-n-butter pop corn (though), 1 pods & 1 frozen coke. We were so surprised when the counter lady asked us wheather we wanted the normal pop corn or the caramel one.. If we were to record our expressions that time we could definitely win the AFV award! hahaha... Even the counter lady almost break a laugh at us. hahaha... we were like- huh???? with very weird shocked faces... well definitely we go fo rd caramel pop corn- tho theirs are totally not as good as ours in Malaysia! They started selling the caramel pop dorn 4days earlier...

The movie was stupid-ous, hilarious and ridiculous! haha! It was very entertaining that we laughed 3/4 of the movie... But overall, I had a very good time last night, went home called abah to wish "Happy Father's Day" to him. Luckily we went out that night coz I totally forgot that it was father's day. Intan told me fuh.. nasib baik.. and also, lucky enough we have time different. 12midnight here is 8pm Malaysia. still not too late hehe.. Miss abah yg makin debab but always in denial of his "kedebaban"... haha

U might get what u wished for...

When I was a kid, I thought it would be cool to be a grown up...
Got to decide my own life...
Got my own money...
Could buy anything I wanted..

But now, as a grown up, I realised how I missed those days being a kid...
No need to think of my life coz other people would think and decide for me..
Never had my own money, but that's okay..all i had to do was asked...
Mum n dad would buy them for me.. no big deal!

Now,
Money... BIG issue!

• House rent
• Internet Bill
• Groceries & Food
• Social Events
• Toiletries
• Miscellaneous Expenses

Future undertaking... an unsolved mystery!

• Life companionship???
• Love Life???
• Friendship???
• Family issues???
• Study???
• Work???
• Marriage???
• Children???

Tatkala hati berbicara...

Terasa disentap jantung ku tatkala itu,
Terasa lemah seluruh badanku,
Terasa hinanya diriku,
Terasa ku lupa siapa aku yang dulu.

Ku sangka ku mulai hilang kesedaran diri,
Sedangkan pertimbangan ku telah hilang lama dulu,
Kekuatan ku yang dulu adalah kelemahan mu,
Kini yang tinggal hanyalah kelemahan diri...

Betapa ku hilang kewarasan akal,
Betapa ku hilang keyakinan diri..

Ku tinggalkan tegarnya hati,
Ku tinggalkan teguhnya pendirian diri,
Ku jauhi indahnya penilaian hati,
Ku hindari anggunnya tafsiran mimpi...

Demi sebuah mimpi yang tak pasti,
yang pudar dan melemahkan hati,
nan agungnya hanya pada keindahan duniawi,
kerna hilangnya pertimbangan diri....

Kisah Sosej & Lembu

Ada kisah seorang anak yang diberi peluang untuk belajar di Amerika untuk dapatkan degree, tapi selepas 15 tahun, tak pernah lulus, akhirnya bapak dia dah tak sanggup lagi tanggung beban wang untuk anaknya itu, terpaksalah dia bawak balik ke Malaysia.

Sepanjang perjalanan dari airport ke rumah, bapaknya diam aje (marah la tu).

Si anak dah rasa tak best, so dia pun cari la idea untuk berbual & tunjuk pada bapak dia yang dia kat Amerika ada gain something la dgn pekembangan teknologi.

So dia cakap dgn bapak dia:

Anak: Bapak tau tak, kat Amerika sekarang teknologi dah maju giler. Sekarang nak buat sosej tak payah nak sembelih lembu, buang kulit, masuk je lembu dalam machine, dah jadi sosej....

Bapak: Itu teknologi dah lapuk. Kat Malaysia lagi advance. Aku 32 tahun dulu, masukkan sosej aje dah keluar lembu sekor... menyusahkan plak tu...

Kahkahkahkah!!! (Taken from my-sensasi)

Perbezaan antara Lelaki & Perempuan

[Ditujukan untuk kaum wanita dan lelaki yg merasakn betapa sukarnye memahami perasaan dan pemikiran pasangan masing2...]

Rumitnya seorang isteri, dan simplenya seorang suami...jadinya kena selalu berfikiran positif...barulah tercipta rumahku shurgaku!

BUKU HARIAN ISTERI

Malam Minggu - Dia berkelakuan aneh. Sebelumnya kami berjanji bertemu di Cafe. Aku shopping seharian dengan kawan-kawan, sehingga mungkin dia kesal karena aku agak lewat sampai di Cafe, tapi dia tak bercakap.

Dia tak bercakap langsung, jadi aku ajak dia pergi ke tempat yang agak sunyi supaya kami dapat berbincang,dia setuju tapi tetap diam membisu. Aku tanya apa yang salah - dia jawab, "Tak ada".

Aku tanyakan apakah kesalahan ku yang membuatnya kesal. Dia kata hal ini tak ada kaitannya dengan ku dan minta aku tak usah sibuk.

Dalam perjalanan pulang, ku katakan aku mencintainya, dia cuma tersenyum tipis dan tetap membisu. Aku tak dapat menjelaskan perangainya petang itu. Aku tak habis-habis berfikir kenapa dia tak menjawab, "Aku cinta kamu juga".

Sesampainya dirumah, aku merasa kehilangan dia, dan seolah-olah dia tak menghendaki ku lagi. Dia hanya duduk dan nonton depan TV; dia terlihat jauh dan menghilang.....

Akhirnya aku putuskan untuk tidur. Lebih kurang 10 minit kemudian, dia masuk ke kamar. Aku tak tahan lagi, ku putuskan untuk menghadapinya dan menanyakan soal sebenarnya, tapi dia langsung tertidur. Aku mulai menangis sampai tertidur. Aku tak tahu apa yang harus ku lakukan. Hidupku terasa bergoncang.....

BUKU HARIAN SUAMI

Hari ini REAL MADRID kalah. SIALLLLL!!!

(Taken from my-sensasi)

Tersentuh baca entry ni, lalu saya post disini untuk dikongsi dgn kawan2 sume

Bahagia nya dapat pak we mcm nie...

Saya suka tengok jari awek saya...
Cantik betul... Sungguh!Sampai takut nak pegang...
Bukan takut patah...Tapi takut nanti jari kitorang tak boleh tolong each other
Di satu hari yang giler forever depan yang maha Esa...

Saya suka tengok rambut awek saya...
Cantik betol... Sungguh! Sebab tu saya belikan tudung...
Bukan sebab jeles orang lain tengok jugak....
Tapi takut nanti terbakar dek api neraka
Di suatu hari yang giler forever..

Saya suka tengok body awek saya....
Cantik betol... Sungguh! Sebab tu saya belikan dia telekong
Supaya mase die jumpa dengan Kekasih die Yang Utama
Dia lagi cantik dan berseri menghadap Nya.
Saya pun tumpang dapat pahala. Pheh syoknye...

Saya sedih tengok awek saya
Tak tido,tak makan rindu kat saya...
Saya pun macam tu jugak, problem yang sama..
Die tanya apa ubatnya?Saya pun bagi die Quran untuk penenang jiwa...
Semoga lebih cintakan Nya dari saya...

Saya sedih tengok awek saya
Selalu pesan macam-macam kat saya...
"Makan, minum, drive elok-elok tau..Nanti awak sakit saye susah ati bla bla bla bla" katenya...
Tapi bila tengok movie sama-sama burn asar maghrib gitu
Die tak kata satu aper pun...
Berdosanye saya....

Kesimpulannya saya memang sayang dia...
Nak jumper die giler forever...
Yang forever punye forever...
Di dunia dan akhirat terutamanya,
Janji nak share heaven sama-sama...
Bahagia selamanya...

Semoga kami saling mengingati,
Dosa sendiri pun infiniti...
Nak tanggung dosa dia lagi pulak lepas ni...
Semoga kami menginsafi diri...
Ya Allah ampunkanlah kami....
Semoga kami dapat bersama selamanya nanti..

Tunggu sampai 2, 3 pagi...

Tunggu punya tunggu...

pastu cuba, cuba tak dapat...

Apa perasaan anda?

Online Paper

This sem I have to take 2 core subjects and 2 electives. Non of these courses have exam. That's the plus point here. The downfall part is the tonness of assignments and 3 tests being crammed in one final week! Giler sakit otak aku... main game! Hahaha bukan belajar pon... but, of courselah aku study akn despite of half of my time devoted to my gamessss... LOL!

One of the 2 core courses is an online course. We have no lectures to attend, no tutorial class, no need to see the lecturers... which is awesome, eyh! haha! We just have spend some times on the laptop, cracking our heads for a 600-words essay every once a while. We had 3 discussions and have to submit an essay for each discussion, provide at least 2 comments to others' essays, and write replies to comments made to our essays. Sounds easy? Memang easy pon sebenarnye. The difficult part was just to start the essay because we were only given a stimulation-kind-of question, and we had to find our own issue and context of discussion. That's the most difficult part for me.

Right before I write this post, I just did my on-line test for that course. We had 1 hr 30mins to answer the test. It was awesome. First time amik test on-line. Kinda awkward actually because I am so used to coming to the exam hall prepared, mentally and physically prepared. And just now, I had to take the test with my pyjamas on, surrounded by food, books, basically i didnt feel like i was taking an academic test. Since there was no lecture for this course, so I took the exam unprepared hahaha! But ok je... it was like dicussion style...

I like that course-EDUC 384 because it was interesting to experience an on-line learning experience. No lectures, no lecture notes to read n memorise so that we can muntahkn balik everything during exams, can do the task anytime suits me and best of all... can study while playign games! hahaha!

EDUC 384 rocks!!!

but my LT 303 test tomorrow... sooo gonna die!

Will you or will you not?

I always wonder whether you will stay the same?
Well at least, having the same feeling about us.
Are you going to be a better person?
And taking your life even more seriously?

What if I ask you to wait for few more months,
Will you still be there?
Waiting for me perhaps as a better you?
Or will you turn your back to someone better?

I am still waiting, waiting for your answer,
Waiting for an affirmative assurance.
So that I wont have to keep on wondering
About all the uncertainties in my mind.

Would you try to learn me then?
Try to understand that my life differs than yours.
Would you be so kind to hold my hand?
When I almost lost grip of my life?

Will you still be patient when I lost mine?
Will you stick by my side till the end?
Will you still be the same when I changed?
Will you start talking when I am filled with silence?

With so many questions without answers,
Only one I’m desperate for answer at the moment.
And that is the one that I don’t dare to ask
Coz I am too afraid to know what the answer might be like.

P/s- this is what you get when your brain deviates too much from its original task.... Off-tasking is my expertise.

Life Ain't A Fairy Tale

Life aint a fairy tale
Every journey will come to an end
No such thing as a never ending story
Nor living happily ever after
Happy now but suffer later


No fairy godmother or tooth fairy
to come to d rescue nor grant all ur wishes to come true
So dont expect a perfect prince charming to come to ur way riding a macho black horse
Cos all that u might get is someone good looking enough only to tear ur heart apart

I guess this is just what I realised from my life
That fairy tales only exist in story books
I have to be more real about what lies for me
Instead of running away trying to build my own fairy tale

What's the purpose of smiling
If the only thing I can do is to burst into tears
What's the purpose of facing you
If all that ill bring is pressure and anger

But now I know
that life aint a fairy tale
but my life sure is
A colurful story to tell...

Pak cik Cina yang Miang + Toilet yg Bercahaya!

5minutes walk dari rumah aku ni ada satu Convenient Store. Itulah penyelamat aku di kala waktu2 genting seperti:

1. Shit! Pad dah habis????
2. OMG! Stok makanan dah habis?? Aku dah kebulur ni...
3. Otakku mogok tak mau buat esaimon selagi tak dpt junk food... LOL
4. Nak gi party... tapi "pot luck"...Rumah dah xde makanan...
5. On d way to lectures yg super duper membosankan.. singgah sat lah pi beli ngonyel2..
6. Aku depreeessss!! Kene kuar dari rumah ni kalau tak nanti aku blh commit suicide! Tp nak ke mana?? hehehe...faham2 sudey..pura2 mencari brg dlm kedai tu.. padahal sj alasan bodo giler nk kuar rumah...
7. Balik dari lecture..... boleh singgah tuk tapao Fish Pie.
8. Aarrgghhh!! Light Bulb!!! Damn u, bontot bulb ni tak compatible dgn soket!!! (alasan terbaru ku)

Aku tak ler suke sgt kedai ni, tapi dh itu je kedai yg plg dekat dan convenient yg ada. Dahlah tokey kedai ni gatal giler. Dah lah xreti ckp omputeh... bengang betul kalau cari brg kat kedai tu time die jaga. Konfem lah aku akan balik dgn tgn kosong. Mati seharian nak menerangkan barang yg aku cari tu.. Dah tu, kalau time bayar tu, seboleh2 nk pegang seluruh tangan aku..eyewwww!!! geli okeh, pak cik!! aku dh pegang paling hujuuuuung dah kad aku tu, dia stil akan grab tgn aku. Aaaaa pak cik giler meroyan!!! Tapi... aku paliiing suke kalau wife die jaga. Sooo sweet itu mak cik. Soo friendly gitew. Senyum je.

Toilet ku dah bercahaya kembali!!! Yay!! Dah berminggu2 aku buat bisnes dlm toilet yg gelap... Kahkahkah. Ada je bulb spare yg aku beli dari last year. Tapi, dah ku try2 rupenye bontotnye jenis lain lak. Sengal betol! Dah tu kene lak aku yg mmg pelupe ni. Berpuluh kali lalu kat convenient store tu asik lupe je nk beli bulb. Akhirnye hari ni blk lec John, aku beli gak bulb. dan.. tadaaaa... bestnyee mandi ada lampu hehehhehe.. sooo sukee!!!!

Aku berputar di atas paksi Bumi

Sebagai penghuni Bumi, aku tak boleh tidak mengikut putaran paksi Bumi. Dengan kata lain, aku ni hanyalah insan kerdil, keciik setotet, seciput nak dibandingkan dengan keseluruhan masyarakat Bumi. Dengan itu, aku kene terima dan ikut peredaran dunia dan masyarakat. Sebab tak kira macam mana aku cube nak berputar menentang putaran paksi Bumi, hahaha aku tetap berada di atas bumi dan bergerak bersama2nya. Tujuan kita semua sebenarnya sama.... (fikirlah sendiri... kalau tak reti2 nak pk sendiri, baru tanya aku!)

Moral of the story: Aku ni peliksss sebab aku sendiri tak tau ape aku bebel.. jadi, jangan jadikan aku kaunselor/penasihat peribadi anda.. hahahaha!

10 Major Complaints I Have Lately in My Life

1. My skin is very dry
2. My stomach is grumbling
3. My house smells like Tandoori Chicken
4. Feels very lonely
5. Really2 Pokai right now
6. 2 assignments + 3 tests coming my way n havent prepared a thing
7. Desperately need to go out n get my mind blown away
8. Wanna go jamming-beat em drums wit all my heart, slam on d guitar n scream out to d top of my lung FOR FREE!!! (where can i find such place???)
9. Want to be real about this life... grasp sth n held it in my hands n never see it slipping away... something, someone, concrete..not abstract.
10. Having too many complaints... *sigh*

On top of all these complaints.. I am quite content with my life.

Hey, DIAM lah... Atie tak NAMPAK!!!

Jangan tanya..

Jangan komen pape..

Dah alang2 begini, baik ko diam je!

Kalau tak nanti..

AKU NANGIS kaaang!!!

Kamu...

Kamu ni mmg pelikss juge..

Suke buat saye bengong..

Tp skrg sudah makin faham..

Jadi kurang sikit bengongnye.. ihik..

Jadi.. saya tulis post ni, khas buat kamu.

Sebab sedetik masa yang kamu luangkan dengan saya..

Dah buat saye saaaangatt bahagia..

Dan cukup utk melengkapkan dan membahagiakan hari saye.

Terima kasih atas ucapan Happy Birthday tuu..

Wpun kalau ikutkan masa saya dah terlambat..

Tp, dimaafkan kerna ikut waktu kamu.. masih 20 Mei.

Saye akn bljr mengerti diri kamu...

Juge, terima kasih kerna kamu,

Saye belajar menghargai diri sendiri..

Thank You, YOU...

xoxo

I am Grateful for the 21 years of my life!

Tepat jam 11.32am, 20th May 1988.. lahirlah sorg bayi perempuan yg diberi nama Nur Izzati Hassan. Semenjak waktu tu..hingga lah ke hari ni... macam2 dah berlaku dlm hidup dia.. Macam2 juge dia dah belajar tentang hidup. Not to mention..d different birthdays each year. Dah 21 tahun detik tu berlalu.. Dan dah 21 tahun juge dia hidup menumpang di Bumi Allah dan menggunakan segala nikmat dan khazanah tuhan. Atas kesedaran itu, dia duduk bertafakur inside her sweet, little shelter in The Cambridge, mensyukuri nikmat hidup yg diberikan selama ni dan menyedekahkan beberapa cebis kalam Allah buat insan2 yg disygi - yg telah pergi mengadap Allah mahupun yg msh hidup meumpang seperti dia di dunia ni.

I am thanking all my thoughtful friends and loving family for remembering this day. Plus, d fact that I managed to collect more than a hundred dollar for d World Vision program today, cheers up my day!! Yay!

My Birthday Wish this year: Saye mau sorg steady BOYFRIEND. (seoraaaang je pun jadilah!)

Why does Atie Love F.R.I.E.N.D.S so much?

1. They are so funny.
2. Each one of them is unique in their own way.
3. Therefore, they have different perspectives and point of views of life.
4. Remind me of my unique friends.
5. It always made me reflect my life and relationships with people around me.
6. Made me see things from different angles and be on the other side of the table instead of just seeing things the way I want it to be.
7. Whatever they portrayed might seem too dramatic for a real life story but, I think those are real life scenarios that might happened to anyone.
8. Damn... I loike the song specifically this part "No one has ever told me life's gonna be this way..." I totally agree with that!

Still Talking This Talk, but Not Yet Walking This Walk

The last few weeks were definitely very tough for me. Undergone weird mood swings every now and then..I guess it was the transition of a new season which caused some changes in my hormone as well.. who knows whats goin on inside their body? Definitely not me. Dont understand my own body... urgh!!

So what was I up to these few days?? Let's see.. There were assignmentsss, unpaid debts that required urgent attention, fell sick..sick..n sick again, Nisah's advance birthday 'makan-makan' -->Nisah doesnt like it to be called party.., Mother's Day, and.. normal boring stuff of my life.

1. Assignments are as suckss as ever
2. Debts had been given the attention required (but not fully paid, yet!)
3. Sickness...I told ya.. I cant understand my own body...
4. Nisah's makan2.......God.. bersyukur atas rezeki yg dilimpahkan.. Havent ate that much for few weeks.. Almost threw up that night.. Enjoyed the moment n sure it meant more to Nisah.
5. Mother's Day

Ibu always knew if this daughter of her had problems and had been keeping secrets from her. The mother-daughter instincts had worked on its magic successfully wonderful without failure up to this point. And Im very greatful for that. Because of my financial crisis, I couldnt afford to get any present for Ibu which really frustrated me. Instead, Ibu n Abah were d ones who were doing me a favor...love u both..n miss u soo much! I called Ibu n wished her Happy Mother's Day n was so touched to know that Abah, for the first time showed his most sincere gratitude to Ibu for taking care of his children all this long..

"Happy Mother's Day...Thank you sebab jaga dan besarkan anak2 Abah selama ni."

With that..I knew that she already got her best Mother's Day gift ever.. and I am happy that after all we had gone through for so long... Allah had brought our old Abah back to us... a wiser and better man.

Berada sejenak di tempat Atie...

Cari buku "The English Teacher" di UBS...>> Tak jumpa.

Mencari seseorang utk bantuan...>>> Abg comel di counter tersenyum manis (bila lagi nk tersengih2 kat dia. Nilah masanya.)

Abg Comel lagi Kacak ber'accent' pelik...>> Takpe. Nasib baik ko kacak. Lalu aku maafkan..LOL

Bagai ayam dan itik...>> Aku tak paham ape dia bebel (sbb tlh dikaburi oleh kekacakannya), dia tak paham aku ckp (??? Tak tahu knp...kekacakanku???hehe.. 'sound trouble' lah tu..)

Buku tu 'out of stock'..>> Dia masih berusaha cari alternative utk aku wpun sudah berkali2 ku bilang "It's OK, then..". (SAH!! Sound Trouble mamat nih!!)

Berbual dgn Kauthar...>> Manusia memang pelikssss.. Org2 di KL mulut berabuk2 'speaking' omputeh (sorry we dont speak Malay)... kami disini..(English??ape tuh??).."No English..No..No.."

A Story of a Painful Discovery...

Love can be a many splendored thing

Can't deny the joy it brings

A dozen roses, diamond rings

Dreams for sale and fairy tales

It'll make you hear a symphony

And you just want the world to see

But like a drug that makes you blind,

It'll fool ya every time

The trouble with love is

It can tear you up inside

Make your heart believe a lie

It's stronger than your pride

It doesn't care how fast you fall

And you can't refuse the call

See, you got no say at all

Now I was once a fool, it's true

I played the game by all the rules

But now my world's a deeper blue

I'm sadder, but I'm wiser too

I swore I'd never love again

I swore my heart would never mend

Said love wasn't worth the pain

But then I hear it call my name

Every time I turn around

I think I've got it all figured out

My heart keeps callin' and I keep on fallin'

Over and over again

This sad story always ends the same

Me standin' in the pourin' rain

It seems no matter what I do

It tears my heart in two

It's in your heart

It's in your soul

You won't get no control

See, you got no say at all

P/s- Taken from Kelly Clarkson song "The Trouble with Love Is". This is NOT the original lyrics coz it has been altered a bit.

How communication plays such a big role in a Relationship...

Aku tak paham dia, Dia pon tak paham aku..
Aku ingat dia merajuk, tapi mungkin juga dia penat atau mungkin juge bosan...
Terlalu banyak kemungkinan...
Asyik meneka je..takkan ada jawapan yang pasti.

Dia pulak.. lebih suke berdiam diri..
Lebih suka aku yang bercerita, membebel...
Dia suke mendengar..
Tak pernah bercerita tentang dia, masalah dia, sejarah dia... hmm
Katanya tak rasa nak bercerita...

Sekarang... baru berapa hari mungkin baru seminggu... dah rasa renggang...
Bila difikirkan pucuk pangkalnya...
Mungkin sebab kurang komunikasi...
Aku tak berani nak luahkn ape yang aku tak puas hati
sebab tak tahu die orangnye mcm mana.. dah lah aku ni jenis yg extrovert..
makin pendam makin makan dalam...

Dia pula... entah lah... dari gayanya, aku tahu dia ada rasa tak puas hati..
tapi entahlah..

sedih...

sayang u...

marah jugak...

kecewa lagi...

rasa bersalah juge...

tapi sangat risaukan dia..

sebab sgt syg..

geram sbb xboleh memahami dia...

dan dia tak memahami aku...

Keputusan: Tengok sejauh mana boleh pergi...

Falling in LoVe...

Selama aku pernah jatuh chenta, aku rasa pahit lebih banyak daripada manis...

Aku nak steady boyfriend.. a serious relationship bukan main2 ala2 zaman sekolah dulu.

I sangat sayang kat U but then, I tak rasa that u're serious about us.

Sometimes I felt like I'm the only 1 yg in love...

I felt like u re so happy to have me loving u so that u ada teman nk bermanja, nk borak n stuff...

There is still so much about u that i dont know. The same goes to u... I dont think u know much about me.

Not to blame u, syg... I am at wrong.. D problem is with me not u. I guess this is the price that i ll have to pay for fallin in love....

Just being soo EMO these few days....

Despite of all those things I wrote, they dont change my feeling to u. Yeah, I still Love U.

~END~

Sangat sedih............

Aku tak tau nak mula kat mana... Tengah hari tadi masa on the way ke gym for dance practice, I received a call from my mum. She sounded like she was sick. I could feel the uneasiness in her voice. I started to panic. Then I got the news. Atuk Mok meninggal pagi tadi... Ya Allah... aku rasa mcm slh dengar. tak mungkin... thats so unfair... I didnt get the chance to see her before she go. I felt soo guilty that i didnt pick up d phone and call her hew days ago. Few days hari tu, hati aku dah tergerak nak call atuk mok tanya khabar. Coz aku xcal pun lagi die since aku smpi cni bln 2 hari tu. How ungrateful i am... atuk mok sgt syg kat aku.. die risau sgt ms dpt tau aku belom jumpe rumah utk tinggal thn ni hari tu.. die selalu bagi duit kat aku walaupun die kene guna banyak duit utk hydrolisis.. And I... I couldnt even make 1 single phone call... I cant forgive myself for that... Padahal ibu ada bgtau aku atok mok tak brp sehat few weeks ago. N malam tadi die sakit mengejut... Dulu masa arwah bah tok meninggal pon aku xsempat jmpa. But at least aku sempat tengok jenazah.. tapi atok mok.. aku mmg terkilan giler..

sblm balik auckland hari tu, atok mok ada cakap, die nak sangat tengok aku grad. Die teringin nak tido kat rumah aku. Teringin nak datang sini. Dia kata dia tak pasti sama ada die sempat tengok aku balik tak akhri tahun ni.. Mana tau that was our last time together....

Al-Fatihah buat nenek tersayang, Kamsah Bt. Ahmad... semoga sentiasa dicucuri Rahmat dan KeampunanNYa...

Today is Friday...So???

The most boring, eye-soring, mind-blowing lecture I've ever attended. My unprepared mind plus my severe headache added on to the sheer boredom I was having. Despite of all those, Penny (our lovely, normally enthusiastic lecturer) seemed to be unprepared and kinda blur herself.

She asked us to read 2 case studies in pairs when the summary and findings of those studies had been laid out on the slides handouts... duh~ who wants to read those studies. Intan and me went on searching for interesting 'lexical' items instead and these are the 'lexical' items that we found as striking, 'prominent', and interesting to be ponded upon from the 2 case studies:

1. pidginization
2. 'money-girl'
3. Hawaii
4. prostitute
5. Kasper-sky
6. Norton (2001)

Hahaha... we are like sooo LOL (an example of pidginization!--according to Intan).

And, returned home only to found that Woosh Internet, sucksssss!!!! No signal up till 11pm. Am not d only person having such problem, i guess other Woosh users were cursing Woosh like hell as well. Intan and Mira also facing the same problem... bet d rest too....

Playing "Our Song" with My Guitar

I wanted to play "Our Song" with my guitar so i browsed through the Ultimate-Guitar's database. Feels so happy u got what u're looking for coz we re not always lucky, u know.. So i thought, wow those chords are damn simple and easy, man! Then i tried to play and trying so hard to sound as close to Taylor but darn... not a chance! What did I go wrong? My guitar is well tuned. I played the chords correctly. I know, the strumming part! Jeng3x... duh~

So i tried to pick up the strumming by listening very very carefully to d way taylor played it. still.. no progress was made. I checked out you tube.. n haha i found it! That guy was cool, man! Then only i realised how "berkarat" my guitar skill is. Now, i miss Tn. Syed. Felt like a total beginner cant even pick up simple strumming like that, wat the heck?!

Reflecting back my guitar progress.. I never did anything to improve my guitar skill since i got here in Auckland. What do u expect? I play guitar based on my mood. Not for d sake of becoming d best out of d best. Guitar is my soul mate. The songs I played (NO! we played) mainly depending on my mood. Happy songs for happy time, sad song for harsh times etc2...

So, yeah... basically no progress... well, i ll pick up slowly. Lalalala~